


Punch or Kiss Him

by some_fiction



Series: Vigilantes vs. Life [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Darecat, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fake Daredevil, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, References to Depression, Trish becoming Hellcat, Whump, and a lot of cursing, ladies getting shit done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 89,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_fiction/pseuds/some_fiction
Summary: Since his biggest enemy is about to be released from prison, Matt Murdock thinks he should be hiding to protect his friends. But Jessica Jones thinks that's bullshit and she decides to bully him into being less of an idiot. When she introduces the lawyer to Daredevil-Fangirl Trish Walker along the way she regrets it immediately. Jessica sees the sobfest coming even before Matt's ex and a fake Daredevil enter the scene. At least then he has Hellcat by his side...Set after The Defenders and before Jessica Jones season 2.





	1. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the introduction chapter of the story. The others are longer.

"The horny vigilante that you wanted me to be like is an asshole." Ever since Jessica Jones had a tiring argument with Matthew Murdock AKA Daredevil she is in a foul mood and it doesn't help that Trish keeps taking his side. In fact it's fucking annoying. Of course, her adoptive sister never really got to know the stupid bastard. Even his identity is still a secret from her. She is very curious, but she does understand the reason for hiding it. What she doesn't know is that someone else has been keeping Daredevil alive in his absence the last couple of months while he was still healing. And all because the guy basically sacrificed himself, making the Black Sky, his brainwashed ex, his sole responsibility while everyone else fled the building that collapsed on him. Jerk.

"He acts like he can deal with everything on his own and doesn't need anyone's help."

"Sounds like you." Trish chuckles.

"Well, he doesn't have superhuman strength or healing and he's also not indestructible like Luke", Jessica argues. Leaving out the little identifying detail that he is also blind, which did not seem to hold him back. Her sister looks surprised. "That makes it even more impressive that he's still around."

Jessica snorts. "It's close to a miracle. We did already think he was dead for a moment back when that building collapsed." And that moment was a lot longer than Trish thinks. His lawyer persona is even still believed to be dead. Mostly.

"It almost sounds like you give a damn."

"Occasionally I do."

Jessica was the first to find out Matt was alive. He must have gotten through to his psycho ex girlfriend after all, because Elektra dropped him in the care of nuns and that's where he was wallowing on his own, even after he was - physically at least - able to leave. He probably reached out to her, because she would keep it secret, but he wanted to know that his friends were alright. Jessica had to get him kicked out of the convent. He's probably still mad about the way she did it. But she was doing him a favor. Rotting there between self pity and guilt was never going to make him feel any better. He was a mess. It was the first time she was actually glad that he had his stupid old fashioned believes, because this way he would never contemplate suicide. Well, not actively.

He wasn't even excited about beating up bad guys again. Danny was actually doing an okay job as Daredevil. And to be able to bring his lawyer personality back, Matt had to let his friends know he's alive and he was not able to face Foggy and Karen after all that grief. That was the explanation he gave her anyway. Of course, she only realized much later that his reluctance to come back from the dead officially had also a lot to do with Wilson Fisk threatening everyone close to him, because he had put the powerful criminal in prison. He only told her about that after she forced him out of his hiding spot, from where he was silently - like a sad and creepy stalker - watching his former best friend who then suffered the shock of his life.

 

* * *

 

Matt did not understand why Jessica was so invested in him getting his life back together. He called her, because he thought she wouldn't care. Maybe it had to do with her own superhero career ending badly. Apparently her friend Trish did help her through all of the Killgrave shit. But Foggy was never that supportive about Matt's night activities and he did not want to drag him into it all again now that he finally didn't need to worry about him anymore.

Still, Jessica was right about his friend deserving to know the truth. Although Matt was not looking forward to being shouted at again. Which surprisingly did not happen this time. There were only silent tears followed by a very long hug. They were even joking a bit and he did feel better shortly. Then he remembered Fisk and panicked, blaming Jessica for forcing him to appear in front of Foggy. He told his heartbroken friend that Matthew Murdock had to stay dead which meant they could only meet in secret, at least as long as Fisk was alive. Foggy was not going to argue with that.

But Jessica would. Hence the shouting match.

"You can't live on the streets as long as Fisk is alive!"

"What I can't do is put my friends in danger again!" Seeing Foggy again and actually talking to him was such a huge relief after so many months staying alone. Still, it was also a huge risk.

"That was the biggest mistake of my life and I don't want to repeat it."

He left Foggy standing in the park after their short reunion and forced himself to keep going, to ignore the other man's heartbeat that told him how upset he was. It was the right thing to do.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't really about him being Matt Murdock again. She wasn't even pushing him to be Daredevil, although she did suspect that he needed to be a hero more than she ever did. It was more about not giving up on himself and trying to find a way to move on, no matter how and who he was going to be. She thought about killing Fisk herself, but was smart enough not to mention that to him. She didn't have his moral inhibitions, at least that's what she thought. The guy was clearly evil and if he was never going to leave Matt alone, maybe he needed to die. It was better for all of Hell's Kitchen and she would appreciate some help in taking him down, preferably from the guy who had done it before.

Why does she even care? Maybe because they already lost Daredevil and she feels she could have done more to keep him alive. She's not blaming herself, it was his stupid choice to stay down there and they really weren't that close. But hearing his voice again when he called her to ask about Foggy and Karen was the first pleasant surprise since all this vigilante business seemed to mess up her life. It was good.

Matt refusing her help, because he is still angry with her for getting him thrown out by the nuns, and living on the streets is not good. He deserves better.

 

* * *

 

Trish sounds very interested in the so called "Defenders" on her show and it doesn't appear to be just because of her friend Jessica. Matt can hear her talk on the subject, because someone in the next building is listening to the radio while he is trying to sleep on the cold ground. To her vigilantism seems more exciting than her other talk show topics. He has noticed that whenever he decided to listen in. It's about life and death after all and she seems to be quite passionate about justice, especially when the system fails to provide it. Trish is convinced they do make New York a safer place and she would fight every troll caller over that.

Matt even hears her defend Daredevil on her show, when someone says he is losing his touch. It is actually amusing since they don't know he is criticising a substitute and Matt is a tiny bit proud that Danny Rand is not living up to his standard without using the fist. But concern for his city wins over and he thinks he needs to go take over the costume again soon.

Then Trish gets agitated for his sake: "Whoever Daredevil is, he does not owe us anything. He has taken up the role as a protector of Hell's Kitchen and that was his choice. Nobody asked him to do that and I am grateful that he did. Maybe he's just a guy like you and me who decided to make a difference, who trained very hard, because he was sick of seeing the suffering around him. It is only human to have a bad day sometimes or need a break. Which means he needs our support more than ever." Of course the caller immediately doubts Daredevil not getting paid by some corporate company and how would she know so very much about him anyway? Even Matt is wondering how much Jessica has told her friend. But her image of him seems way too heroic to be influenced by his alcoholic acquaintance who makes a sport of insulting him. He smiles.

 

* * *

 

Jessica also hears Trish getting worked up over Danny's performance in the devil suit. The Immortal Iron Fist doesn't hear every cry from blocks away and he also gives himself a rest sometimes which Matt probably rarely did. Trish wouldn't know. She's been so excited about Jessica teaming up with this merry group of weirdos that she does not want to see their flaws. And because of that Jessica has been making sure she never gets to meet any of them.

But maybe it would be a good idea for Matt to talk to her once, without her knowing he used to wear horns in his free time. Hearing her fangirling over Daredevil might amuse him and cheer him up a little. And maybe get him to listen to her and stop this self destructive nonsense.

Everyone makes plans to deal with problems that don't have simple solutions. They run away, lay low for a while, ask for help or are too proud or independent to accept support. But sometimes plans don't work out and you have to go with the only option that's left.

The next day a newspaper prints a picture of Matthew Murdock that proves he is alive. The headline says: "Blind lawyer living on the streets"

* * *

 

And here's a collection of screencaps to make you curious about my little Mattrish or Darecat series. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story - my first - a couple of months ago over at fanfiction.net mainly because I was looking for something about Trish and Matt meeting up. Since I didn't find anything and I had those ideas in my head, I just started writing it down. Basically this is me trying to make those characters help and comfort each other and have some fun with it. :) But there are some dark moments in there, because that is kind of where these people live.  
> I'll also be rewriting it a little bit, if I find the time. So, let me know what I should work on.


	2. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is Trish's point of view, some drinking and Matt is officially alive again (although not kicking... yet).

When Jessica sees the lawyer's picture in the newspaper she pales and Trish doesn't get why. She didn't even know him for long before he was believed dead. Were the Defenders maybe responsible for his disappearance? Or did they feel guilty for his supposed death? For a moment the blonde considers that he might be Daredevil, because the vigilante was also missing shortly before Murdock was declared dead. He has also been a topic of discussion between them lately and Jessica is obviously worried about him. But she is pretty sure that the lawyer really is blind and that's impossible, right? While blind people can do a lot, those fighting skills were impressive without a disadvantage like that...

Jessica tries to pretend that the article doesn't freak her out. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Well, I have. I was certain that stupid lawyer was gone."

"Isn't it a good thing that he's not? Do you owe him money or something?"

"The bastard owes ME a camera." Jessica snarls, but then she smiles honestly. "I'll have to remind him of that. Anyway, I don't want to talk about him. What's new with you?"

Trish knows that is a distraction. She just doesn't mind, because there is something else she'd like to talk about: "We'll be celebrating my birthday on friday in a bar."

Jessica groans dramatically. "Will you be mad if I don't show up?", she asks hopefully and Trish just smiles sweetly. "Forget that I asked."

"Since you're the only one invited and I don't want to look pathetic celebrating my birthday on my own, I'm pretty sure I'd kill you if you'd even let me wait for a minute…"

"Why don't you just party with your socially acceptable friends and leave me alone?"

"I'm doing that the next day."

"Sure you can do that after a night out with me?"

Trish smiles. "If not I've had all the birthday I need. You can bring along Malcom or anyone you're comfortable with."

 

* * *

 

Jessica successfully distracts Trish from Matt's picture, because she doesn't want her to figure out who he is. The second she's around the corner she's on the phone with him.

"You're in the news. Meet me at my place in thirty minutes."

She hangs up after he mumbles a reluctant agreement.

Then she calls Nelson and tells him where to look for the article.

"Looks like he has to come back to the living now."

"You sound glad. Did you have anything to do with this?"

"What?! No! Look, Matt has been in the news before. He's a pretty hot shot lawyer and blind as well. The media loved him after we defeated Fisk. This piece is small though. Coming back from the dead is not as sensational then. Or maybe people kind of forgot about him…"

"You think Fisk won't see it?"

Foggy sighs. "I'm not sure."

"You know what? Your friend is a real pain in the ass."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I'm sorry you got pulled into his drama." There is silence, then he adds quietly: "But I thank you."

Well, Jessica did not get out of this now and she didn't want to take any chances with Fisk either. She wanted to keep Matt alive a bit longer. They just had him back.

 

* * *

 

"He looks beyond exhausted in the picture." Karen observes and Foggy sighs. She knew before the article that he was alive, but only from a phone call. Seeing it is different. Still not better.

"Do you think, we'll be able to meet him again now?"

"I don't know, Karen. He's stubborn. You must know that by now. I don't even have a way of contacting him."

"What about that PI who made sure we knew?"

"Jessica Jones? I think she's still looking out for him. She's trouble, but better than zero friends. And she can kick ass which is really something he needs, more than he would care to admit. That kind of makes me sleep a little better."

It also makes Karen relax a little and it makes her curious about this mysterious Jessica Jones. It still hurts that he contacted her first, but she actually gets why he did it. Maybe it was better for all of them if he is closer to his superpowered friends... They would never be the way they were anyway. Now she just wants him as safe as possible. It would be nice to get to see him again though...

 

* * *

 

There is not much to talk about. He'll have to come back and explain where he was. Jessica doesn't have to be involved in any of that. She shouldn't. This was his problem and she definitely has her own share of issues.

When she comes in to see his hooded figure waiting for her in a corner of her office all she offers him is a frustrated moan. They haven't met since their last argument, but he knows that she regularly tries to check up on him. Even follows him sometimes when he himself makes sure that Karen and Foggy are safe. He doesn't know why.

"What do we do now?", she asks and he furrows his brows, honestly not understanding.

"We?"

"Damn, Murdock! You're one infuriating son of a bitch. You must have realized you're not getting rid of me anytime soon."

"Why?"

He might as well ask. But her answer is one annoyed silence.

"And my mother is a nun."

"Of course she is…" Jessica rolls her eyes. "If you must know… I might need your help in the future and it would be great if you'd owe me a favor for this."

While her heartbeat tells him she means it, he's pretty sure this isn't the real reason, because she's not the type to ask for help either. She's also not the type to get in over her head, because she is more of a reluctant vigilante. But maybe he should look out for her in the future without being asked. That thought makes him feel better at least.

"I already owe you a lot. My friends aren't mad at me for once. I have you to thank for that. Had they seen my picture in the paper without me telling them personally first…"

"Yeah, Foggy contacted me after Danny made his first appearance as Daredevil. Let's say, I got a taste of the kind of anger he is capable of. The guy loves you like a madman."

"I'm sorry for you being on the receiving end of that." Matt winces.

"Foggy said something similar to me about getting pulled into your drama. You are both a handful." She sighs. "Are you still healing?"

Now that's a topic he can be clinical about. "Thinking about putting the suit back on soon. Fisk will be released from prison next week. I doubt he'll do anything before then. He will want to see me suffer." He smiles thinking that at least he can count on. Somehow his optimism puts her out even more.

"You're mental. And you have to wait till Saturday at least, because I'm taking you to Trish's birthday. This way she'll never suspect you, because Daredevil will be busy somewhere else in the city." It also seems like she wants to keep an eye on him as well.

"Does she suspect me?"

"I'm not sure, but I'd rather stay ahead of this. She'd probably track you down to find out how you do it if she knew."

 

* * *

 

That look on Matt's face in the end there was entirely too pleased. If she wasn't worried about him she'd have punched him. But he really did look better and he didn't seem to fight her involvement that much anymore. She's still sure he'll end up in trouble, but she just won't give him the opportunity of doing it alone after he almost died.

Jessica did also have to pay rent of course, so she'll try to finish her current two cases over the next couple of days. Then she'll be on devil watch. Or Karen and Foggy watch. He's probably right about Fisk wanting to be there when he takes his revenge. And that creepy sad smile when he said that made her want to punch him again. But it really does help that his friends are on good terms with him. It'll be easier to protect them like this. Fisk already knows they're important to him, so he could attack them whether Matt distances himself or not.

Trish has been affected by the events with Kilgrave, Simpson and the Hand. It is obvious, but she doesn't say anything. Jessica knows her sister needs a night off from work and everything, a nice party. She feels horrible that she is going to involve her in another fight. Although she knows Trish loves helping out. A little too much...

 

* * *

 

Instead of going to the bar and drink on friday, Matt prefers training in the gym. It's not like he doesn't want to see Trish. They've met before and she seems rather nice, but he doesn't want to intrude on her birthday. And if she discovers his identity, what is one more person in the know really? Fisk probably knows, so who cares? As long as they're not printing it in the newspaper, there is not much he can do about it anyway. And he does trust Trish to not talk about him that much on air if he personally asked her not to.

But it looks like he won't get out of it. He hears Jessica's unmistakable steps behind him and he turns around.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"It's my job." After a tense silence she adds Foggy's name, since the answer did make him nervous. A ruthless crime lord might be looking for him after all.

"You're seriously insisting on this?"

She smiles. "I'll be less of a bitch next week if you'll be my voluntary company tonight."

He's pretty sure she wouldn't force him, but maybe it would help to have her less annoyed.

"I'll just take a quick shower and I need to get a suit."

"I've brought a suit, since all your clothes smell from living on the streets. Rand also has an apartment for you. I'll bring you there later. STOP arguing. And be charming today. I'll be half an hour late because of you. And I plan on asking if she would let Karen stay with her."

He's in the next room when she says the last sentence knowing he'll hear her.

"Also, you should probably change your training spot next week."

He agrees, because Fisk probably knows that his dad came here as a boxer as well. But he will argue about the apartment. He's not taking charity.

 

* * *

 

Jessica drags Matt into the bar where Trish is waiting to have a drink with her. She looks mighty pissed.

"Look, I brought you a gift!" Matt's eyebrows shoot up at her exaggerated smile and he greets Trish sweetly.

"Happy birthday! It's my fault for holding her up. I apologise for the inconvenience."

"Okay, you are way too polite to actually befriend Jessica, so what's this about?" She's gesturing between them and Jessica laughs.

"I guess she knows you too well, Miss Jones." He smirks.

"Actually, I think the problem is that she doesn't know YOU at all, Matt." She winks. Jessica laughs even harder after seeing the confused look on his face. He must think she was being too obvious about his secret identity.

"Please, don't start blushing. You're so not my type. Way too mopey and catholic."

Matt smiles at that, not hiding that he's also a tiny bit hurt by her assessment.

"You really are friends!" Trish cheers, pleased about the addition to her little party despite the delay he caused.

Matt seems surprised by her enthusiastic statement, but Jessica doesn't say anything to correct it.

"I do have a favor to ask for his sake."

"Ah, there it is. Does he want to go on Trish Talk to explain where he has been the last couple of months?"

That is not a bad idea, Jessica thinks. She looks at him. "Do you want to do that?"

"I don't think that's necessary. Everyone I care about knows anyway." And he doesn't want Trish to get on Fisk's radar as well. Especially if she agrees to take Karen in.

"Actually I have a friend I'm worried about. Karen Page. I think, you've met her?"

Trish smiles. "Yes, I have. She's a nice girl. Very brave."

"She is and she helped me and my friend Foggy Nelson to put Wilson Fisk behind bars. But he'll be released next week and…" Matt gulps. Jessica can see a guilt trip coming his way and does a mental facepalm. She does not want to get into this in front of Trish though.

"What he is trying to say is that the girl needs a safe place to stay, with someone new."

Trish nods, always eager to help and then smiles, looking at Matt who's hiding behind his glasses. "What about you? Fisk is probably targeting you much more than Miss Page…."

Jessica sees Matt blush and she declares confidently: "I'll look after his stupid ass."

"Okay, you're in good hands then." Trish seems really glad about that. "What about Nelson?"

"We'll ask Daredevil to be his bodyguard. Nothing will happen to him." Matt sounds even more confident about this than Jessica thought was possible. He's going to literally guard his friend with his own life. Shit. She has to make sure he'll stay alive this time, for Foggy's sake as well.

"Didn't you mention that Daredevil was putting too much on his shoulders these days? Your friend can also stay at my place. There's enough room."

Crap, this is more difficult to navigate than expected and if Matt didn't wear his glasses right now, she would definitely see him glare in her direction - as much as he can without sight - for talking about him that way, since they argued about this. She had to be smart now. Stick close to the truth.

"Trish, this is exactly the issue I needed to help him with. He feels responsible for his involvement in the Fisk case and he's a target himself. I'm glad he's trusting me with this and I'm SURE he's the best man to protect Foggy." For now...

She is looking at Trish, but hopes her answer calms him down as well. And just as she starts to fear that Trish is going to see through her bullshit, a news segment of some new Daredevil activity at this moment runs on TV. Trish glances at it shaking her head and agrees to harbour Karen Page.

The rest of the evening there is a lot of drinking and Matt graciously tolerates being teased by Jessica the entire time, which amuses Trish very much. She sure does seem to enjoy her birthday. She also likes Matt a little too much. In the end Trish is even determined to cancel the other party, because it can't be as good as this one. Jessica knows she never had it planned.

 

* * *

 

To say Trish was surprised about Murdock - Matt - being dragged to her birthday by none other than Jessica Jones was an understatement. Of course there was an explanation and a plausible one, but them bickering like that was still way too familiar. She could tell her friend cared about the lawyer. It wasn't just a show for her sake to make her birthday more pleasant. There was definitely more to it and that's why she ended up wondering - again - if a blind guy could be a ninja. Of course, that's exactly when the news report of a recent Daredevil sighting across town was broadcast. So she buried that theory once and for all. It was ridiculous anyway. Maybe it was really just Matt's charm working on Jessica. She was still curious about their relationship though, so she grabbed an opportunity when they were alone for a moment. He almost choked on his beer at her question: "Since when have you two been friends?"

"To be honest, I'm just starting to realise that's what we are now. Otherwise I'd owe her a lot. Don't tell her, but I plan to return her favors eventually."

"I'm glad to hear that. She needs more friends."

"Me, too." He smiled and took another sip.

"Are you sure you don't want more with her?"

There was more beer spilling. "God, no. She'd break me!" He laughed and Trish joined in.

When Matt used the toilet later she told Jess: "Thanks for bringing him. He's much better company than you are."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "I knew you'd like him. Told him to be extra charming, just in case. Don't say I never bring you presents."

"But you're not setting me up with him, right?"

There was more drink spilling. "No way! Did you hear how much trouble he's in? I would not be a very good friend then, would I?"

"Right, okay, just checking." Trish grinned. "It's shame really. He's cute."

Jessica stared at her friend and gave in to the facepalm this time. "I made a huge mistake." She groaned. After that she was picking on Matt even more.

 

* * *

 

After the little birthday party Jessica leads him to his old apartment. "Danny kept it, because Foggy and Karen could not deal with someone else living there after... After a while he made it his base for Daredevil nights."

"This is…" He is moved, but conflicted as well. "I'll pay him back."

"No need. Like I said, he used it. You can just have it back now."

Matt was too tired to argue about the apartment then. Sleeping in his own bed after months does feel incredible. Now he would have to thank Danny as well.

The next day Matt has to talk to Karen about moving in with Trish. She takes it a lot better than last time.

"You're not mad?"

"Matt, it's not your fault. I'm proud of us taking down Fisk. After you…" She gulps, continuing to pack her things. "I talked to Foggy some time after you were… gone. And we agreed that we should have been there for you, no matter what." She holds her hand up. "Don't interrupt. We love you, every part of you. Less keen on the manipulative, reckless part. But I get it. And I hear you have Jessica Jones on your side. She sounds like a force of nature. I'm glad she's helping out."

Matt smiles. "She is. Thanks for understanding. I love you both and if I had known you'd be in danger I never would have started all this. I'm so sorry…"

Karen probably sees the tear rolling down his face and she gives him a hug, tearing up herself as the tension in his muscles fades away very slowly.

"I did envy Foggy for getting to do this. Hugging you. You don't know how much this means after mourning you for months."

"I'm sorry…"

She mockingly hits him on the back and holds him even tighter.

"Stop saying that! Just stop sacrificing yourself."

When she notices him wincing a little, she lets go of him. "Sorry… Are you still hurt? Have you started lurking in the streets already?" She tries her best not to sound accusing.

"I'm starting tonight. Mainly watching over Foggy and keeping an eye on his neighborhood. I'll only stray from there if there is an emergency. But I doubt Fisk will strike tonight."

Karen lays her hand on his cheek. "Still, please be alert. I don't want anything to happen to Foggy either."

"I'll defend him with my life."

That's probably not what she wanted to hear, because she gives him a gentle slap on the cheek.

"Could you please defend both your lives?!" Desperation dripping through.

"I'll try. I don't want to lie again."

"Be careful what you wish for, I guess."

Karen finishes packing slowly and before Jessica picks her up he asks her to protect his secret identity from Trish.

"Another girl you want to lie to?"

He's shuffling awkwardly and her heartbeat is doing funny things.

The moment Jessica and Trish arrive she whispers: "As you wish." And she hugs him again carefully.


	3. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now Matt is not just alive, but also kicking. Jessica realises she might have become a devil whisperer and Trish bonds with her temporary roommate Karen.

Karen is pretty silent for the whole trip, still thinking about her conversation with Matt. He clearly means a lot to her as well and Jessica hopes he's aware of that. For her sake at least he should make sure that they won't have to mourn him all over again.

"I'll look out for him, I promise."

Karen sighs and she can see her mouthing "thank you" in the mirror. It feels funny, so many people trusting her abilities these days. She hopes she won't let them down.

Trish is also checking out the other woman and looks concerned, but there are no traces of jealousy, thankfully, after that goodbye scene. Maybe Trish was just drunk on her birthday. Jessica can't stand by while her best friend is falling for the martyr of Hell's Kitchen. That would be a disaster waiting to happen, because Matt obviously doesn't do sweet love affairs, no matter how charming he may appear. It always seems to end in death, destruction... and betrayal, going by Karen's face. Yeah, he probably cheated on her with Elektra. Or he was a complete ass when he or (more likely) she ended it. Not that she can be judgemental about that. But she sees disappointment in her job all the time and it is written all over Miss Page's face.

 

* * *

 

Trish shows her new guest the apartment and Karen seems very impressed, not just by the security. Several jokes about Jessica's living arrangements make them bond fast and Karen is delighted she gets a better deal than poor Matt. Before the new roomies scare her away though, Trish remembers that Karen was already in protection once, because of none other than Daredevil, and she asks about the vigilante again. Karen is fast to assure her that she's not holding a grudge against him anymore. Apparently they hugged it out after he started appearing in the city again and everything is fine now. Jessica smiles at that and Trish wonders if she had something to do with it.

Before she can ask more questions, her favorite heroine leaves, shooting a warning her way: "Stop being nosy, it's making her uncomfortable."

And looking at Karen that seems to be the case. Maybe there is some kind of love triangle there with Karen, Matt and Daredevil. Of course, that idea makes her even more curious…

"We could talk about the Punisher instead?", Karen offers hopefully, to distract her from that topic.

"Frank Castle? Do you know all the dangerous guys in town? DO tell." Trish would have pretended to be interested in anything, but she did not mind the conversation going there at all. Karen blushes a little and Trish is suddenly not so worried about that love triangle anymore. Huh… was she really?

In the end they also share some stories about their work and decide that if something interesting comes up, they would inform each other and maybe team up as well.

 

* * *

 

After a long time Matt was finally hanging out with Foggy again and it was bliss. They talked about old times, joked and laughed without mentioning the danger they all were in. It was only when Foggy went to sleep that Matt decided to change into the suit.

"That thing is not good for hugging, is it? Because I decided, we need to do that more often."

"To keep our friendship alive?"

"To keep you alive, buddy. You need this." Matt's hug is a bit stiff, but that's just due to his outfit. His smile under the mask is sincerely grateful.

"Be careful out there. You hear me?"

"I'll stay close."

Matt doesn't see anything suspicious that night. He decides he can afford to stop a mugging two blocks away and is glad, that his first encounter with criminals in months goes smoothly. He really did miss this. Being able to do something. But he also panics shortly after, checking on Foggy's quietly sleeping form, to be sure noone tried to distract him from his priority. Is he getting paranoid? He can't be too careful, he decides.

And he really needed all those hugs today. They made him feel stronger and not weaker. If it hadn't been for Jessica Jones he would have acted like a coward and stayed dead. He would have kept protecting them from the shadows then, feeling like a creep and traitor. She is the reason he can concentrate now and not dwell on his regret over losing them. Trusting her was a good call. Hopefully he'll be able to repay her some day. The girl sure has issues. Maybe he should check out what her deal with Luke was. She'd probably kill him if he did that. Another option would be working together. His senses were definitely useful for detective work or he could send her clients, so she'd have less worries about paying her rent.

But maybe what Jessica needed most were friends. He should try to be one. Maybe he should also help her with something she was reluctant to do, like cutting down on her alcohol consumption. He smiles and jumps onto the next roof to stop some asshole from beating his wife. Afterwards he immediately checks on Foggy again.

 

* * *

 

Jessica finds a message on her phone the next morning. Foggy writes: "I think he didn't sleep the entire night. Please make him. :("

Of course, he wouldn't. And if people started thinking she was some kind of devil whisperer, they will be very disappointed. Stubborn bastard that he is.

She definitely needed Whiskey before paying him a visit.

Jessica was in Matt's old apartment within one hour. "You think, maybe we should get you a new place when Fisk is released?"

"I know every corner here. Kind of difficult to find something new where I'd be as effective in a fight."

"Foggy's concerned."

Matt smiles. "I was around his place all the time. Did not see anything suspicious happen until I left in the morning."

She chuckles. "Yeah, he's worried you did not get any sleep."

Matt blushes, like a little kid without his homework. "I walked right into that, didn't I?" He smiles and Jessica is starting to get why people keep forgiving him for making their lives ridiculously complicated. "I just did meditate for a while, but I'll sleep for a couple of hours later. Happy?"

Weird, no arguing? She IS the devil whisperer. "That was easy. I'll stay to make sure you're safe then, while you get some rest. They do know where Matthew Murdock used to live." She smiles at his speechlessness.

"That's really not necessary…"

She decides to make herself comfortable on the couch. "Matt, stop complaining. This is happening. I'm here to make sure you get some sleep and I won't leave until you fucking do."

"Okay." Matt drops next to her, to her surprise. "I'm really tired to be honest, so I'll do just that. But I have to tell you something first."

She stares at his unfocused eyes, noticing that he needs a reaction. "I'm listening…"

That smile again. If she'll have to keep being strict with him, it will become more and more difficult.

"I have to properly thank you. For everything. For this, for helping me out with Karen and Foggy and especially for making me not be a total dick and tell them I'm alive. I would have lost them forever."

Yeah, she's not talking about fucking emotions. "You would not have lost them. But you're welcome." She gets up again, needing to work now. "Do you have a laptop I can use?"

"I doubt you can use mine. It's for blind people."

Shit. "I'll ask Trish to bring mine over then."

"Do that. I'll take that nap."

"Hopefully more than that."

For that she receives a middle finger. Much better than opening up about feelings and such. She shudders.

 

* * *

 

Trish arrives half an hour later with Jessica's laptop. Looking around, this was not a place that looks like it belongs to a blind guy.

"Not bad." She comments, handing over the laptop.

"It actually looks better than the last time I saw it."

"When have you been here before?"

"I worked with him, remember? And be quiet, he's trying to get some sleep. I really hope he's not listening to us right now."

Trish is raising her eyebrow. "Didn't he get enough sleep last night?"

Jessica looks honestly confused for a moment, then realizes what she is insinuating. "I'm not into cute. I feel more like tugging him in when he's tired. He's obviously scared, that's what kept him awake."

"Should I check if he needs anything?"

Jessica is eyeing her seriously now. "Why?"

"To see if he's alright."

"He's blind not a child, he can sleep on his own. There is nothing to see, Trish."

Trish takes the cup of coffee Jess is offering her.

"You're no fun today." She takes a sip. "Mh… This is good coffee. Which brand is he using?"

Jess shrugs. "His taste is really good because his senses were enhanced after he lost his eyesight."

"Did he tell you that?"

"Not before I noticed. It's creepy. He can smell you."

Trish makes a face. Always should take a shower before meeting him then.

"Shit, you just made a mental note about showering before you see him."

Trish looks offended. "Why do you care?"

"I just hope he has some sense."

"Tell me, what's so bad about it!"

"A dangerous criminal wants to kill him and everyone he is associated with?!" Jessica just sighs. "Well, at least after the showers you won't have to worry about make-up, since he's blind and all."

Trish laughs. "Give me another coffee."

After a moment she muses: "Enhanced senses are probably useful in the bedroom."

"Trish!" Jess looks positively scandalized.

 

* * *

 

Matt wakes up two hours before he wanted to meet Foggy again. Jessica is still very busy on her laptop and he notices the scent of alcohol. She found his best bottles apparently, but she is allowed to take anything she likes. He'll still find a better hiding place, remembering his plan to at least not assist her in drinking so much.

"Hey." He makes his presence known.

"Hey to you too, sleeping beauty." She grins at him. "I've made some progress. Got some names that might help put Fisk back in prison. More names of people who'd probably like to kill him and want some help doing so. The Moranos are his competition now. I'm not sure how desperate you are to keep him out of your life permanently..."

"I'd like to stick to not killing him actively, but knowing his enemies. Do you see any way we could strip him of his power?"

"Not yet, so we shouldn't rule the desperate route out completely." Then she adds: "I hear Karen has the Punisher's number."

"Of course, she has." Matt makes a frustrated gesture and Jessica can't help laughing.

"She's a trouble magnet, just like you. You deserve her."

Matt glares in her direction seriously. "I really don't."

After they discuss their next steps, Jessica takes all her stuff, promising she will be discreetly doing her thing, since she's no target yet. If she becomes one they would also contact Danny, Colleen and Luke, for practical reasons. The Punisher shouldn't get involved if it can be avoided. "Take my jacket, it's about to rain."

"Do you have to remind me of those creepy senses all the time?"

"They're not just useful in the bedroom." He ducks when he senses a coffee cup flying his way and just laughs. He also hears her taking his jacket. Ten minutes later he leaves for Foggy's place, taking his umbrella in the pouring rain.

 

* * *

 

Getting to hang with his best friend again was nice, even if it would never be again as it used to be, because he'll now always think it could be the last time he sees him. It should make him appreciate his time with Matt more, but in reality there was just a lot more baggage. Since there were less secrets now, they did become closer in a way. He was really getting good at pointing out his bullshit. Matthew Murdock was a complex man and Foggy knows he has always been that way. He just didn't realize how much he needed help before, how screwed up he was.

"I'm sorry my friendship has become such a burden on you. We did have more fun in college..." Foggy rests a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Stop saying that. I know we had more fun before all this, but despite all the amount of heartbreak I honestly feel our friendship was also a bit fake back then. There was so much I didn't know."

Foggy's intention is to cheer him up with that admission, but it appears to have the opposite effect. "Why do you look like I just insulted you. I'm just saying it was easier, but this is more real." He smiles.

"It was never fake to me. Even looking back on it now."

"Well only because I wasn't the one lying to you all this time…" When Foggy sees Matt flinch he hugs him again. "Sorry, I wasn't going to bring that up again. But you have to understand that no matter how less fun this gets I'll always prefer you in my life, especially if you keep being honest with me. Understand?"

Matt shrugs. "You think we would have been friends had I become a vigilante back in college?"

"Of course! You're amazing. But that's not who you are at all. You believe in the law and trying to make it work is what a good person like you would always do. I still hope I get to see you fight just once, only saw glimpses against the Punisher…"

Matt smiles at that, but then a shadow falls over his face.

"What?" Foggy looks alarmed.

"Be careful what you wish for." And with that he grabs a next shawl to tie it around his eyes and kicks out the light bulbs above their heads. "Get behind the couch and stay down."

Foggy scrambles for cover and just then all hell breaks loose. There are kicks, punches and gunshots. He thinks, that's it. They are both gonna die. Some hands try to drag him out behind the couch, but never for long, which is good because that means Matt is still alive. Not doing anything to help is depressing, but Foggy knows he will only make it more difficult for his ninja friend if he gives away his location, so he just waits. A couple of heartbeats later he doesn't hear anything anymore, but there are flashlights suddenly. And one of them is pointed right at him.

"He's here." Foggy puts his hands in the air and someone grabs him roughly to pull him into a well-lit room. There are bodies on the floor. There is a lot of blood. He can't see Matt though. That's good, right? Terrified, he walks a couple of steps, a gun held to his head.

"Let's just take him. The other one will come to us later."

Then the light is gone again and within a second Foggy feels the wind of some movement when that gun to his head is kicked out of reach. Matt pushes him back into the other room carefully, before going in full berserker mode.

Foggy gets why he took the lights out, but it scares him to death and he still doesn't even get to see him fight...


	4. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping secrets becomes difficult with so many people knowing them. And an abduction calls for desperate measures and a guest appearance.

After gathering some more vital information about Fisk's rebuilding syndicate, Jessica pays Trish and Karen a quick visit. Those two get along very well, it seems. They are giggling as they open the door and Karen hugs a bottle of wine.

"Are you drinking without me?" Jessica looks offended.

"We had to open a bottle after Karen gave me permission to flirt with Matt", Trish declares triumphantly.

"Seriously?" Jessica rolls her eyes. Were they treating this like a pyjama party of some kind? "He even heard us talking about his enhanced senses earlier." Jessica gives Trish an accusing look and Karen starts laughing hard.

"I told her about that little conversation." Trish explains.

"You are aware that this is a dangerous situation, right?"

"You said they'd probably not attack before tomorrow…" Karen sounds a bit cautious at least.

"Yeah, maybe they won't, but someone might die tomorrow. I'm leaving. Keep your alcohol." Jessica's mobile phone starts ringing then, so she stops in the door and the women look tense now. DD is Daredevil's number. She motions for the silly girls to be quiet and looks into worried faces.

"Yeah?"

"They tried to kidnap Foggy." Heavy breathing on the other line.

"Tried? Are you two fine?"

"He's taking me to Claire. (Breathing) Wasn't able to argue. Can you pick him up there, please? Maybe take him to the police, if necessary? (...) I don't want him to go alone." At this she hears Foggy shout: "I'm not leaving you alone bleeding like this, you ridiculous idiot!"

So it looks way worse than it sounds. "Shit, I'm on my way." She hangs up looking at two horrified women.

"Daredevil got hurt stopping them from taking Foggy." She then looks at Karen pointedly. "He sounds alright. Foggy is freaking out though. I'll call you as soon as I know more. Just wait here."

 

* * *

 

Trish later looks at Karen fidgeting with her fingers. It's not the first time she's worrying about the vigilante and she realizes that last time he did not come back like Jessica and the others did. He was missing for an entire week, as far as Trish knows.

"He just called himself, it's not like last time." Trish tries to comfort her new friend. "And Foggy would not take him to Claire if it was too bad. He'd just call an ambulance."

Karen sighs. "You're right. He would." She laughs. "You never get used to it."

"I know. But I'm starting to think, I have it easier. Jessica rarely gets hurt that much, with superhuman strength and healing. And I still worry about her a lot. You never know when it won't be enough."

"Well, Matt can take a lot more than you'd think apparently. He goes down regularly and always gets back up. I'm just worried that some day he may damage his body permanently…. Or not get up."

Trish's mouth is standing open. "Did you just say Matt?"

Karen's eyes widen and she begins to ramble: "Wasn't Matt with them as well? He kept having accidents because of his blindness and all?"

"Matt is Daredevil?!"

"Ah, shit, I thought you knew already after all the talk of enhanced hearing and all…"

"Are you kidding me? That's how he fights like this? Hearing and SMELLING?!" Karen just nods and shrugs.

Her phone rings, so Jessica must have news from the blind vigilante lawyer. Trish takes the call, still freaking out: "Matt is Daredevil?!"

"He's fine." She hears Jess sigh. "Karen told you?"

"Accidentally." She looks at Karen and the reporter still has a deeply worried expression on her face. "He's fine," she tells her.

"At least that's what he says." Jessica elaborates. "He's not taking pain killers, so the bullet wound should hurt like hell. But Claire informed me he survived way worse. At least he's conscious and complaining. Oh, and he just says he's sorry for not telling you."

Trish doesn't know what to say anymore. "Give him the phone."

"Trish…"

"Give him the fucking phone, Jess!"

There is shuffling, then she hears his voice, surprisingly strong on the other end of the line. "I'm really sorry, Trish."

"Sorry about what exactly? Making a fool of me after I agreed to help you? I was the only one who didn't know. Were you making fun of me behind my back?"

"What? No. It was really difficult keeping it secret on your birthday." He dares to laugh, making her even angrier.

"Wait, you were on the news that day."

"That was Danny. He's been Daredevil while I was... recovering. He promised to protect the city if I couldn't..."

She looks at Karen and remembers Jessica's face when she saw Matt's picture in the news. They probably thought he was dead for a lot longer than they admitted before. Maybe even until Jessica started complaining about Daredevil so much. That has only been about two or three weeks.

"If it's any consolation, the only person finding out faster about my secret identity was Jessica." She just hangs up after that.

Trish needs to focus. Why was she angry anyway?

"To be honest, I'm glad you found out. It's exhausting to keep secrets like that. How he was able to hide it from his best friend for that long, I'll never understand." Karen looks as resigned as Trish feels. Then there is a text from Jess: "Now you made him sad, just hanging up like that. Foggy's attempts to cheer him up are annoying. He refuses to go to the police with me. Men..."

She reluctantly answers: "Just tell Matt I'm not mad at him."

After a minute Jess writes again. "I'm not sure he believes us. He has that kicked puppy look that he had when he stayed with the stupid nuns. You kind of have to tell him on the phone. He can't read. Blind and all."

Damn. Trish calls Jess. "What do you want me to say?"

"With that attitude I'm not going to let you talk to our drama queen over here." She hears talking in the background.

"What's his problem anyway? He was just laughing at me…"

"You hung up on him. He's sure you don't want anything to do with him now."

"What? Why does he even care? He barely knows me."

"Yeah, but I think he would have liked to get to know you. He also hears everything I'm saying, by the way." That kind of hits her hard.

"Crap. Just give him the phone then. I'll be nice."

Shuffling and that voice again, sounding a lot less sure of himself. "Look, don't let Jess guilt you into talking to me…"

"Shut up, I'm not mad at you. I just need to process all this. We can talk this over when you're better."

"Yeah…?" He sounds hopeful. Is he smiling? Did he hear her smile earlier?

Then Jess's snarky voice is back on the line: "I'm not letting you ruin his mood again. He seems relieved now. You two can talk later."

She notices Karen's pleading look then. "Karen wants to talk to him as well." Trish gives the phone to her worried roommate and sees her immediately relax when she hears his voice. But she seems anxious when they talk about Foggy which is strange, because the lawyer was okay as far as she knows. When she's done and tells him to get some sleep, Trish asks her about it.

"He seems to be worried, because it was a close call for Foggy."

"Did he catch the bullet for him?"

"Maybe…" Karen sighs burying her head in her hands.

Ten minutes later they are about to go to sleep and the doorbell rings.

 

* * *

 

Foggy would be getting police security from the next day onwards and Karen could receive it as well, while they were investigating the attempted kidnapping. Matt apparently had taken out a group of ten men with guns on his own, thankfully they were not interested in killing Foggy just yet. That's why he seemed to be pretty much unharmed. They arrived before Matt changed into his armour. So he just switched off the lights, grabbed a shawl and told Foggy to keep his head down. Jessica was sure this would have ended differently, had there been an order to kill. And she thinks Matt knows this as well. That is why he's down. He would have lost if they had been allowed to hurt his friend and he would probably have been taken or killed himself, too shocked from grief. She just makes Foggy believe he's sad over Trish's reaction to Daredevil's identity, because that was easier to manage. And more fun. Also, Trish did make the idiot laugh before she hung up on him. That really only amused him more. But it didn't last.

Jessica has to go to sleep at some point. There was nothing left to do. Matt will probably run back into trouble the next day and for that she needs to be alert. Foggy was taken care of by the police. He should be safe there now and Karen is in Trish's apartment.

That's why she isn't even alarmed when Karen calls. She pushes the button to her uncontrolled sobs. "They took Trish." Jessica feels like the floor beneath her feet was taken away suddenly.

It was time for desperate measures, time to contact Castle.

 

* * *

 

They probably came through one of the neighbouring apartments and then smashed the window. After Trish wisely ignored the doorbell, because she wasn't expecting anyone, her mother called about some nuisance and Trish cut her off pretending to be busy. When she heard something odd she told Karen to hide and felt stupid for drinking two glasses of wine. It all happened very fast. Trish managed to take out one attacker with her Krav Maga, but two more came her way and after they drugged her, she didn't have a chance.

She wakes up alone in a room that looks like some kind of laboratory, tied to a chair. Maybe there is a pair of scissors or a knife on the table, so she jumps closer carefully. Et voilà, torture equipment, it seems. She should be worried about that, right? Maybe that drug makes her fearless like fucking Daredevil. Or blind Matt! That revelation still makes her head hurt.

She turns around, takes the knife and cuts through her boundaries. She listens at the door, but there is nothing. And she is locked in. So, she figures she has time to think about ways she can surprise her abductors once they open that door. Or figure out a way to open it.

She also can't help thinking about the timing of her mother's call. Was she checking to see if she was home? A new kind of dread falls over her at that thought. But she was her mother after all, right? She wouldn't give away her location or help Fisk in any way, right? Even with a bad, manipulative mother like her that possibility sounds too horrible to consider...

 

* * *

 

Matt is feeling a little better after sleeping for a bit. But waking up to Trish gone and Castle involved is not fucking good for his mood.

"Why didn't you call Danny and Luke?!"

"This is about Trish. I won't take half measures because of your moral high ground. Castle thinks he knows who to talk to."

"Okay, I'm going with him."

"Matt…! You're fucking injured!"

"Get Luke, Danny and Colleen involved instead and I'll stay back, but as long as the Punisher is there, I'm keeping an eye on him. Also, it's my fault Trish was taken."

"God, you're stubborn."

She walks out radiating pure fury.

Moments later Claire enters the room while Matt is getting dressed.

"She just apologised to me for letting you know what's going on, so you'll do something stupid again. To be honest, it was therapeutic hearing someone else shout at you."

"You never shout."

She pads his now covered chest. "I probably should shout at you, like now, for going out there injured."

"You know it won't stop me."

"I know." She kisses his cheek. He does not miss her trying to put something in his pocket.

"What are you doing?!"

She sighs. "Helping Luke find you before everything goes to shit."

He hesitates. "That's not a bad idea actually, since Castle will be there. We'll talk about why you have this later." He takes her little tracker and hugs her goodbye, leaving a surprised and pleased nurse behind. It was the best outcome she could have wished for.

 

* * *

 

Jessica heads of to prepare the Trish rescue mission. There is really no point in contacting Luke and the others, is there? She is not just avoiding him, right? She decides she could still call, after they knew where to go.

After accompanying Castle in his "interrogations" and Matt preventing at least two murders with quick reflexes, she knows why he was hesitant in taking him along. But the Punisher does have a good lead on who Fisk paid to take Karen and he is very invested in this rescue mission because of that. He actually told Karen to message him every twenty minutes, to be sure, she was still safe in Trish's broken in apartment. She was not going to open the door unless one of them called her and there were two policemen watching her floor.

Normally, Jessica would have been sure that nothing else could happen, but since someone attacked Foggy and Karen the night before Fisk's release, they might plan more.

"Is there anyone else, they might want to abduct?"

Matt shrugs. "I've been thinking. They might target my acquaintances, but so far it's just been everyone at Nelson & Murdock, so I just hope, that's enough for them."

"I've taken a look at your place and I don't think they've been there yet, so they might not want to take out everyone in one night", Castle speculates.

"You know where I live?" Matt sounds shocked.

"Red, ever since you took on my case, I knew. I'm not an idiot." He snorts.

Matt is still confused and Jessica can't blame him. "Why do you care?"

"First of all: You put Karen in danger by letting Fisk live! Second: If I had not been looking out for you the last couple of months, you'd be long dead and you know it."

Jessica looks at the Punisher with new respect. She doesn't know how Matt makes the scariest people around feel protective about him. First Zombie Elektra, now Castle... Who is she kidding? It's happening to her as well. She was already secretly planning to kill Fisk, if she ever got the chance. Matt is never going to defeat him without putting an end to him. He is always going to come back with a vengeance and that morality-obsessed dumbass will keep suffering. She rolls her eyes.

Still, there is one remark she won't let go. "It's not your fault, Matt."

Frank smiles. "Don't encourage his insanity."

"He is guilt tripping enough as it is, Castle. His precious conscience is what makes us want to protect him. So don't ruin it. You know he's a good man."

Matt winces. "I'm not so sure..."

"You ARE." Jessica and Frank both look at each other after they say it, Jessica rolling her eyes pointedly at Matt and Frank actually laughing.


	5. Injected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trish is no damsel, but she won't be the same after this. Jessica and Matt both feel guilty and are worried about her.

The hunt for answers is exhausting, but Frank is determined and very effective. Thankfully he is not too focused on killing people, so Matt can easily avoid it. The Punisher is frightening enough that he doesn't even have to use force on anyone. That kind of makes the good vigilante, bad vigilante team up work wonders. Together with Jessica's investigating skills, they do narrow the search down to a place by midnight, where they might find Trish.

Did the captors realize that they have the wrong woman already? He feels a pang of guilt for getting someone else in danger. Another one who didn't even know he is Daredevil and she did not sound impressed after finding out. Jessica had been wrong about her attitude towards him.

They have silently taken out a couple of criminals working as guards and are slowly closing in now. Frank shooting with non lethal ammunition makes this a little easier at least, but the place is huge and they need to find Trish before the first unconscious men are found. She will definitely be kept alive until tomorrow for the big guy getting out of prison. That makes him feel hopeful that she might still be unharmed.

Right when they are about to enter the building he hears familiar heartbeats approaching, so he gives Jessica and Frank a heads up.

"We have some backup coming our way."

Jessica's heartbeat picks up. "Did you call him?"

"I didn't." True, technically. But she should have. She's smarter than him in that regard usually…

Frank just says: "Our chances of getting everyone out alive are certainly better with more help. Are they like him?" He points at Matt who huffs, annoyed by their banter.

"They are not like you." She smirks.

"A shame."

Luke then comes up behind them grinning. "What did we miss?"

"We don't have time for big introductions. Just stay out of the Punishers way. Follow our lead and shut up." Jessica keeps it short.

Matt is glad that he doesn't have to concentrate as much on what is happening behind him anymore, since Luke is now that huge bulletproof shield walking after him. At some point, Jessica suggests he should switch places with Danny and stay back a little because of his fresh wounds. He doesn't even try to argue.

When they enter a hallway with a lot of criminals they can't all take out silently, he gets caught up in the fight though and ends up taking on three guys alone anyway. Jessica just shakes her head disapprovingly and he shrugs grinning like a madman. He feels his stitches open, but doesn't say anything.

Just when he is about to go behind Danny again in the group they hear a speaker come to life.

"Well, well, well… if it isn't the Devil of Hell's Kitchen."

Matt pales and it's not because of the blood loss… yet. He knows that voice anywhere. Fisk can't be out yet. Or can he? Was he really that naive?

"I've got someone you love. Play the saviour, I dare you…"

While he's starting to panic, he does recognise that the message is awfully vague. And there's another thing. He looks at the others smiling.

"They think I'm alone...?"

 

* * *

 

Trish finally panics when she hears the message. It's Fisk. It does scary things to her breathing. Concentrate. You can defend yourself, Trish! No need to wait for them to use her against Daredevil. Matt. That message also means, he's there and she remembers his hearing. Maybe she can help him find her. "I'm locked in some kind of laboratory. Can't hear anyone outside." It feels incredibly ridiculous to talk to noone. At least if it doesn't work no one will know, she thinks.

"We've got someone you love." She laughs thinking they don't know about the mixup yet. She'll serve them the surprise they deserve. As soon as she hears them coming she will switch the light off and hide behind the door, knife ready.

A couple of minutes later she can hear someone outside and carries out her plan. As the door opens she gives it a forceful push, crushing her first attacker, while burying the knife in his arm as well. The second one is screaming for help. Well, that will help Daredevil - Matt - know where to find her as well. She's pumped, but when the first attacker is taking out a gun she jumps behind the table.

"Don't kill her! We need her alive." The other one shouts.

"She's put a knife in my arm. She will pay for that."

Trish is listening to his foot steps. Carelessly striding over to the other side of the table, where she's slowly following him. She won't let him point the gun at her from a safe distance. He's clueless. So she runs the knife in his leg and he shoots in her direction twice barely missing, before she can kick the gun out of his hand. Being underestimated can be a great advantage. She grabs him in a headlock, puts the knife on his neck and screams at the other guy to stop at the fucking door.

"Girl, it doesn't have to be like that. You're just supposed to be bait for the devil." He's pointing another gun at her and she's using her attacker's body as a shield.

Trish laughs. "I don't think so." She really hopes Matt can hear her now. She doesn't want to be used against him after she decided to help him. From what Jessica told her he would probably also feel responsible for the situation she is in now.

In that moment she is not attentive enough and the guy in her grip buries a syringe in her leg, making her cut into his neck on pure reflex. While his body falls down she dives for the gun on the floor. She doesn't think, the other guy will shoot her, so she takes cover behind the table and he really is more cautious of her now while the man with the cut throat is bleeding out in front of her. It's gross. The man at the door is not taking any chances and just waits for other footsteps to arrive. "I'm pointing a gun at her head right now! Stop moving or I'll shoot her."

There is silence. She has to let Matt know she's safe. So she whispers: "I'm hiding with a gun in my hand."

There is movement outside.

"Good devil."

Is he surrendering? No! She's starting to panic again and somehow things get a little blurry. Right before she's losing consciousness she hears gunfire and more noise coming her way.

 

* * *

 

Matt told her in between throwing fists and kicks that Trish was doing great.

"She's letting me know where they are keeping her." He grinned then and Jessica was starting to think right there that this might turn out fine after all.

Of course that was before he was giving himself up with Danny and Luke disguised as criminals in a last minute plan to make sure they get close to Trish before the fight explodes. It did go well until Matt suddenly lost his patience way too early. Apparently he felt Trish's heartbeat slow down, so she could not really blame him for this. He did go down soon after, thanks to his stupid stitches reopening. Luke had to react fast to shield him while the Punisher and the others took care of the rest.

Thankfully, everyone's priority was staying alive in the end and nobody cared that they had the opportunity to kill an unconscious Daredevil with a single shot to the head. They did hit him a couple of times, but not fatally.

She also noticed that he's starting to trust other's abilities more and more. Although, he just can't take a backseat, even injured. It's probably his instincts working and it's infuriating as hell. But she also has to admit that finding Trish in that huge complex was a lot easier with his hearing there. And he could tell she wasn't actually being held at gunpoint. That helped a great deal. Fisk was also not really there, just a tape of him talking.

They did not know what Trish was injected with, so Jessica took a couple of things from the lab. There also were those red and white pills as well on the table. Miraculously Trish has not been harmed much. She must have given them quite a fight and Jess remembers Matt's smile complimenting her.

When Trish is starting to wake up she's coming right out of a nightmare. As Jessica touches her shoulder she opens her eyes. Her first question concerns the devil, since she didn't know anyone else was there. Jessica assures her that he will be fine. Trish closes her eyes relieved.

"We had his back the entire time."

She takes Jessica in then, now with more worry in her eyes. "I didn't know you were there as well. Are you hurt?"

Jessica smiles showing her bottle of Whiskey. "Not much. Just concerned about you. You've been injected with some substance... Feel any different?"

Trish looks scared. "No…"

"Tell me the moment that changes."

She nods. "Can I see Matt?"

Jessica hesitates. "Claire is fixing him up."

"Can you take me to him, please?"

Jessica shakes her head. "When did you two get so close? One drunk evening together and you're already the protagonist of Murdock's next sappy romantic tragedy."

"What are you… Is that a thing?"

"Don't get me started. He has the worst relationship luck condensed into a person. Did I mention that his last girlfriend died in his arms, came back as a zombie and we believed he was buried with her in a collapsed building for months? How cliché."

Trish shoots up one eyebrow. "As I recall, you broke up with a guy, after he found out you killed his ex-wife while you were brainwashed. And then he was brainwashed into trying to kill you. Hardly better."

Jessica grunts. "But I'm warning you. He's the kind of guy throwing his life away for the people he cares about and he is also risking it for people nobody cares for. Dealing with that on a daily basis will be… a challenge. The man lives on physical and emotional pain. It's a drug for him."

Trish lets this sink in. "We're not like that anyway. You're wrong about that. But I do need to see him. I need to tell him this isn't his fault."

That makes Jessica laugh. "Good luck with that. I'll ask Claire to let me know when he wakes up. He did take more bullets and his stitches opened up..."

"Oh god. But everyone else…?"

"Nothing serious."

Trish looks concerned. "Thank you."

 

* * *

 

He can barely move when he wakes up, but he can hear voices in the next room arguing.

"It started when we were driving. Everything is just so... buzzy. It's all too much..." Trish sobs, her heartbeat is going crazy.

"You need to take very slow breaths," Claire orders.

"My head hurts. All of you being anxious seems to make it even worse..."

"We have to take her back to the hospital."

Shit. What happened to her there? What did they do? Matt winces as he starts to move and he hears Trish react with a gasp.

"I think, he's awake", she says. Now that is strange, because he is not very loud. Enhanced senses maybe…? How can this be?

They open the door and he concentrates on Trish, tilting his head. He is deeply concerned now and trying to figure out what's wrong with her, so he motions her over: "Come here." Matt decides he's still too weak to sit up so he just moves a little bit to make room for her.

Trish sits down at his side, holding her head while observing him, taking in all the bandages and looking as if it pains her. He takes the hand that isn't supporting her head while his arm protests with more pain and tells Claire what might help, sending her to the next pharmacy.

"Close your eyes and really concentrate on my voice and what I'm telling you." Trish does as she's told and he keeps her hand in his, massaging it lightly.

"Claire is right. You have to take very slow breaths. This sounds like an overload of stimulation somehow. You seem to be overwhelmed. Trust me, I know the feeling." His voice is broken, but he's still able to keep her attention and calm her down a little bit. He keeps talking to her while the others are observing the scene silently.

Jessica snorts, but Trish doesn't react. Which he sees as a good sign that it's working. "I hope she's not becoming a weirdo like him now."

"I'm sorry again for not telling you about Daredevil, even after you agreed to help with Karen. And now you already were in danger because of me." He swallows.

Trish just sighs and she still sounds pained. "Well, you just almost died saving me, so don't worry about it now." Talking does make it worse again. Matt notices that immediately and he thinks they have to have that conversation later, then.

 

* * *

 

After a couple of minutes Claire is back and she gives Trish a drink which she gulps down in seconds. She keeps concentrating on Matt's voice, while he's telling her how great she was as the mistaken hostage which even makes her smile once. Then her head slowly clears and she feels she can open her eyes again. Everyone is staring at her.

"I guess I do feel different now."

She looks at Matt, taking in his condition, feeling his slow heartbeat on his wrist and getting a weird sense of his pain and his worries as well. It is actually the first time that she sees him without his glasses and after knowing who he really is his unfocused eyes do take her by surprise as well as the kindness there. He looks like he needs to help her, fix her somehow. She closes her eyes, again overwhelmed and takes her hand out of his.

"You'll get used to it." She really doesn't want to at the moment.

He has a lot of questions when things calm down a bit, but the first one is: "What the hell happened to her?!" Thankfully Jessica repeats what she told her earlier and Trish only has to add some things here and there.

Later her sister takes her home with her new medication. If last night has been any indication of what they are up against, then there are tough weeks ahead. They are both tired and drive in silence all the way. Which makes Trish again think back to that stupid call that started all this. Her own mother apologising and maybe selling her out.

Karen keeps her apologies to herself when she notices that it apparently makes Trish's head hurt. But seeing her condition doesn't really help with her feeling less like she is the reason for it. Jessica tries to assure her thankfully. "Karen, if you hadn't called, we would not have found out that they took her that fast. There were three attackers in the building. They could have taken you both and who knows what would have happened after Fisk gets out of prison tomorrow." She looks at Trish who just nods and takes Karen's hand in hers. "They did plan to torture their hostages."

"I've busied myself with making soup, if you want some?" Karen offers Trish a bowl that she takes with a smile, not wanting to reject her help at the moment.

 

* * *

 

Why did she have to ask Trish to take in Karen? Jessica knew that she'd never turn a request like that down and how could she fool herself into believing that her apartment was safe, that nobody would look for Matt's friends there. How did they even find out so fucking fast...?

"I'm so sorry for involving you in this, Trish. Since Karen and Foggy can prove they're in danger they'll get police protection now. You don't need to do anything else."

"Yes, that's no problem! I can leave tonight. I could also ask Frank..." Trish makes a gesture to stop Karen right there.

"Don't be stupid. I want to help and my apartment still offers more security than the police." Trish eyes her soup holding her head. "Unless you want to ask Castle for help."

They silently eat for a minute and Jessica can tell that Trish is still anxious, but hesitates to mention what's on her mind.

"Something else is bothering you."

"Mother called before they entered the building, probably to check if we're inside, because we didn't open the door."

Karen gasps at that new information.

"That bitch…" Jessica is starting to get up, but Trish stops her.

"Don't… Treat this like a lead. Don't alarm them, but find out what she gains and who she's in contact with."

"How can you be so detatched about this?"

Trish swallows. "I don't know. This is the worst she has done. Even if she didn't think they would take me, if they were after Karen. Still I've started to expect something like this from her." She just shrugs.

"Well, I'll make her pay when we have defeated Fisk then." Jessica looks murderous.

"You know what is the worst part? She pretended to apologise for everything, like she had some kind of epiphany about being a horrible mother. I didn't believe it for a second. It was actually why I was so fast to tell Karen to hide."

"Why didn't you hide as well?"

"Didn't you listen? They knew I was there. If I had hidden, they'd have found us both."

Jessica nods. She could not argue that logic. They were lucky that Trish was mistaken for Karen and she was able to call. But it does not make sense that her mother called to check if she was home then.

The three women eat the rest in silence and Jessica later goes back to work on taking down Fisk, so this would be over soon, hopefully without casualties. Trish's idea of investigating her mother is good. She just has to control her urge to avenge her sister while doing it, which would take some effort. Or a lot.

For now Trish seems to be okay. The headaches were not there from the moment she woke up, so maybe they can be managed. Still, Jessica will keep an eye on her. At least Trish didn't gain any strength that would make her want play the hero, like Simpson did with those pills. Then again Matt doesn't have that either and he goes around finding trouble anyway. Of course he has those weird senses and incredible fighting skills. And he has the stupid suit that offers some protection and makes him look like an idiot.


	6. The Devil You Get to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting more shippy now. Then again, maybe Trish doesn't want to date Daredevil as much as she wants to be like him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While rewriting and adding some passages in the last chapter I somehow worked in more mistakes than there were before. So I had to go back and take another look at it. Sorry, if you had to read the more messy version. ;)

The doctors aren't very helpful with Trish's condition beyond confirming that the medication she already takes seems to be the common treatment for uncommon symptoms like hers. They don't tell them where they got the idea. Her head is still drumming non-stop, though. Since Matt seems to know best what works against it she goes to visit him at Claire's again. When the nurse opens the door she's not surprised to see her. It seems more like she expected her.

"Hi Trish, come on in. Do you want a coffee?"

"A coffee would be great. Thanks!"

Claire takes two cups out and then adds a third one for tea. "How are you doing? Any more headaches?"

"All the time actually. They could not help me any more than you did, so I thought I should maybe ask Matt again for advice. How is he?"

"Not great, but he's not dying anymore which is all I was hoping for really." Claire smirks.

That bad. And she was worried about her headache. "Maybe I should let him rest and come back tomorrow…?"

"No way, he can hear us talk. If I let you go now with your headache, I'll never hear the end of it."

"Shit, I forgot about his hearing again. How did you react when you found out he's Daredevil?"

"Oh, I knew from the beginning. Found him in a dumpster and saved his miserable life. Got to know him with the mask first. To me the blind lawyer thing was the surprise." Claire laughs a little.

"Jesus. You know, before I knew Daredevil's identity I never realized just how often he must get hurt. Does he have you on speed dial or something?" There are so many questions Trish wants to ask.

"I'm one of the few numbers on his burner phone. But to stitch him up twice in such a short time is rare. Usually I'm just glad he accepts my help. I know he'd never bother me for something he considers minor scratches, although I wouldn't mind. Luke isn't that thrilled about him crashing here, but this has been serious. He was shot several times. At least his suit helped with some of the bullets." Claire sighs and takes a sip from her coffee.

"Why does Luke have a problem with that? Did you and Matt…?" The nurse just smiles. Even Trish's new emotion detector doesn't tell her more.

Suddenly the door opens. "Since you're talking about me, I thought the polite thing to do would be coming in instead of listening in."

"You should be staying in bed." Claire looks accusingly, but she does not get up from her chair knowing it would be useless. He crosses the room slowly, limping a little, to sit down opposite Trish and Claire just puts the tea in front of him. Seeing the blind man take it without any trouble is strange. "You still have headaches then?"

Trish confirms this by nodding and then remembers he can't see. "Yeah, the doctors didn't have anything else that could help. I thought maybe you would have another good idea... Can you tell if someone is nodding?"

Matt smiles at her curiosity. "It's easier to identify than smiling which I usually also manage to detect." When she gives him a rather broad smile at that it makes him giggle. "But back to your condition: I can help you block unnecessary information, like I did last time."

Trish is happy about that offer and a bit apprehensive as well, because it was rather intense. "How did you know what to do?"

"I recognized the symptoms. I still don't get what exactly it is you're sensing. It would be easier to work on if we knew..."

Trish isn't very sure about it, but she tries to explain anyway: "There is some strange energy I don't understand, but through it I get an inkling of my surroundings. People or objects. Vague emotions, too. I kind of sometimes feel like I can get lost in it all." Trish has to hold her head again after focusing on all of that.

Matt looks confused: "You can sense emotions? Remind me not to play poker with you."

Claire laughs. "Oh, please do! You're probably the first person to beat this human lie detector. He can hear your heartbeat."

Oh shit, hers just probably skipped a beat. And she can see Matt's knowing smile that confirms that he had in fact noticed. "Don't worry, everyone lies, more than people care to admit. I don't judge. You all have your reasons." When she doesn't say anything else he adds: "And it's not always accurate. I've become quite good at reading people, but I know that overconfidence is my biggest enemy."

"It is useful in the courtroom as well, isn't it?"

"There, too." His cocky smile makes Trish blush again. Yeah, his senses seem to have some perks...

 

* * *

 

Claire gets up to leave Trish and Matt after some more small talk. "I gotta get to work. Trish, please make sure he rests when you're done with him."

"Got it." He hears her nod, it seems very determined. "Bye, Claire!"

Matt also gets up to sit next to her now. He says goodbye to Claire before taking Trish's hand which seems to startle her a little. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you. Are you ready?"

It's useless to hide her nervousness, so Trish just admits it: "No, but I'll have to try. Shouldn't we maybe sit on the couch? Isn't that more comfortable for you?"

Doing this on the couch would probably be better for both of them, so he agrees. When he slumps down on it he is relieved to be able to lean on something again. When he takes Trish's hands he is also a bit nervous.

"I could show you how to meditate on your own if you'd prefer that."

Trish makes a disgusted face. "I hate meditation."

Matt laughs, starts massaging her hands to keep her grounded and tells her to close her eyes. The light mood should make it easier for her to relax this time. "As a kid I also wasn't fond of it. Now it really helps me heal and increases my ability to concentrate." He talks in a low soothing voice and Trish is taking in every word. "My mentor, Stick, showed me how to use my senses as a kid. I trained focusing on smell, hearing, and other stuff. But first I needed to filter everything and blend out the unnecessary noise. You need to ground yourself in the here and now. Focus on a single task. Pick something simple, reassuring. Avoid multi-tasking."

All the instructions seem helpful and slowly she is less tense. At the same time she seems more focused on him. "Can you tell me about your mentor?"

He hesitates. "Sure. Stick was a jerk, but he taught me everything that made me what I am today."

He does not go on, so Trish starts sharing, too. "My mother exploited my childhood to earn money. That's how child star Patsy Walker became a jaded talk show host."

He nods. Okay, after lying to her about Daredevil maybe he needs to open up about some milestones in his past. If he wants to help her, he needs her to trust him. "Stick prepared me for a war I never believed in. He scolded me for getting attached to people and left when he noticed I wanted a father figure."

This is getting personal fast, but Trish does not back down. "My mother called before I was kidnapped to make sure I was home and we think she was helping Fisk somehow. She told me she wanted to apologize, about everything."

"Shit, really?" Matt takes a deep breath. Is this becoming a competition of who's more screwed up? "It turned out that Stick also left, because he started to feel attached himself. He later told his protégé to seduce and manipulate me. That was Elektra. The woman I fell in love with."

"Damn." Some of that Jessica must have told her, but she didn't tell him a lot about Trish, so he stores all this information away. "My last boyfriend turned out to be a bad guy. And before Jess killed Kilgrave he ordered me to kiss him. She's just my adopted sister, but the only family member that counts to me. My hero."

Matt sighs. "My dad was a good guy, never wanted me to fight and I just found my mother again. She's a nun." He hadn't even told Foggy about that one yet.

"How is she?"

"Kind, intelligent and not very happy with my life choices." Trish nods, understanding. A catholic mum being okay with vigilantism would be a shocker indeed. But this was the girl that encouraged Jessica to use her power for a cause. "Have you and Jess always been close?"

"No, I'm not too thrilled with all of her life choices and vice versa. But after every rough patch we became closer. When did you become friends? Now you can tell me, right?"

Matt laughs. "I wasn't lying on your birthday about that. Her not saying anything to deny your claim that we were friends surprised me. I was flattered, because from the moment I met her I knew she didn't make friends easy. But fighting together did probably form a bond. Then she made the nuns throw me out of the convent and I was really pissed off about that." He smiles. In retrospect it is kind of funny.

"What did she do?"

Of course, Trish is curious about that. He giggles. "I think, she just slipped into my bed, naked, waiting for someone to clean the room, while I was praying in the church. I just heard the racket and encountered several blushing nuns on my way there. My bag was already waiting for me standing next to a drinking Jess who thought it was hilarious."

They were both laughing now.

"Was she still naked?"

"Yeah, her clothes were in her hands, as far as I could tell. My senses were not back to normal then. I still had a lot of meditating to do. She said she improvised after nobody believed her stories about my bad character. Only bothered with jeans, shoes and her jacket when we left. I didn't talk to her for a week."

"You can stop massaging my hands by the way. The pain is in the background." He leans back on the couch letting go of her with a content smile on his face. "So I guess, you have forgiven her for that stunt."

"Well, yes, because now I know it came from a good place. I mean, it was disrespectful and it was especially embarrassing for my mother, but when I gradually started to realise that she cared about me and Hell's Kitchen I was glad she pulled me out of there. There was unfinished business here."

Even if Fisk hadn't decided to go after Daredevil and Nelson & Murdock, he would be free now. Matt is deep in his thoughts when Trish starts to leave.

"Well, Claire told me to make sure that you rest, so please, would you…?" She takes the blanket to tuck him in. It's such a sweet gesture that he doesn't protest and just lays back down.

"Yes, mum." He senses her tense at that. Right, her mother is a touchy subject, but he is always annoyed with people constantly telling him to rest. Still…. He really is tired.

 

* * *

 

A lot of Jessica's leads end up nowhere. It's frustrating. The moment Fisk stepped out of prison he vanished somehow and they were busy with Matt almost dying again and Trish getting injected with some shit. His disappearance must have been better orchestrated then those attacks on Foggy and Karen. Or they were just a distraction. A part of her even wishes he would act again just to get a clue where he might be hiding. His fiancée is also nowhere to be found, but Jessica is pretty sure she was there after his release. So far, there is no trace of her.

Trish's advice to not confront her so called mother turns out to save her best lead. Thinking about it she does not understand how they found out about Trish's involvement that fast. Maybe someone saw Matt with Jessica. Still making the connection to Trish seems rather farfetched and she definitely did not talk to her mother about taking in Karen in the first place.

On a hunch Jessica goes back to the bar where they celebrated Trish's birthday. When she asks the barkeeper about that evening he is pretty cagey. Some good threats and a small tip make him give a useful description of a guy who was asking about Murdock and his law firm. Sadly, a lot of people recognize Trish, so he gave him her name and not Jessica's. It turns out that it was actually her they wanted to take and not Karen. Maybe they just did not find Karen in her apartment.

That made them contacting Trish's mother more likely. They probably didn't know that her daughter didn't trust her for a second which was Karen's luck.

 

* * *

 

Visiting Matt is becoming a nice daily routine for Trish. They talk, her headache fades to the background and it also has the nice side effect that she gets to know him better and very fast. Jessica was right about him having a lot of baggage, but so does she and they both understand that about each other. They also laugh a lot and tease each other which is surprising considering the grave situation.

On the fourth day he looks a bit stronger and it almost feels like they spent time together, because they want to, not because he is helping her cope with all the weird stuff she is picking up. It's also the day Matt decides to do something different.

"Do you trust me?"

The question itself makes her question if she could trust him like she obviously does. Her judgement has been proven very wrong before. "Yes. Why?"

"I honestly think breathing techniques and…. meditation would help you."

She groans. "If I have to…" She is going to miss the hand holding and chatting, but if he feels she should do it differently she will. She really does trust the only man who was able to keep her headache in check.

It turns out as boring as predicted, but if she is honest with herself she does feel the breathing exercise helps. This she can also do when she is alone as well. The meditation less so. It's just difficult to take this stuff seriously. It probably doesn't help that she is silently watching him when he thinks her eyes are closed. She's pretty sure that he doesn't know she's cheating until he calls her out on it. "Trish, concentrate. Please."

She makes a point of thanking him when they are done, although she doesn't sound sincere and he jokes about it. Her headache is still better just like it was every time she went to see him.

"I know this wasn't what you preferred to do here. We can go back to oversharing next time. This would be more effective, but whatever works for you..." He rolls his eyes with a small smile on his lips. Yeah, he's a guy, of course talking makes him uncomfortable. And despite sharing some personal information he was careful not to get too emotional about it. She could rarely sense his feelings, when he talked about Stick or Elektra, much less interpret them.

"Well, it worked. Thank you so much for everything. You look better, by the way."

"I'm going home tomorrow actually. I've bothered Claire - and Luke - enough, I guess. It was nice to have your company sometimes." The way he smiles makes her heart jump a little. Shit. But, to be fair she senses something from him as well, which she's pretty sure is affection. She gets it from Jessica sometimes. So, big deal, they enjoyed each other's company then. It was kind of obvious.

"I guess you also have to get back to work. But maybe you can come by some time."

He smiles. "I will. I'm not too busy yet. Being back from the dead and all..."

 

* * *

 

When Trish arrives back home Jessica waits for her at the door with a stern look. "We need to talk."

They go up in silence the tired radio star expecting the worst. Jessica pours herself a drink before she starts: "You were already a target. Someone saw you with Matt on your birthday."

Trish doesn't seem that surprised. "Okay. Well, I knew if I wasn't in danger before, I would be now. So…"

"Trish, again: I'm really sorry, I pulled you into this. If I hadn't dragged him to your birthday, none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have to deal with those stupid headaches."

Trish starts making a cup of coffee. "Well, you could not have known. You can't bitch about Matt's guilt issues if you're doing the exact same thing."

She has a point there. It takes an idiot to know an idiot, she assumes.

"You don't know, maybe someone would have died for some other reason. Also, it was a nice birthday."

"We lied to you the entire time."

"Who's idea was that, by the way?"

Jessica shrugs, as much as she would like to put that on him… "Both of us. I brought it up, knowing your little Daredevil obsession and he's notoriously secretive."

Trish huffs. "I was not obsessed!" She sits down. "Did you make any progress with mother?"

Another tricky topic to discuss. "I did. It was a good call to follow up on that. I think I know who contacted her now. He matches the description of the man who the barkeeper gave your name to. All I need is to find him now."

Whatever is happening to Trish doesn't seem to be harmful, but Jessica still doesn't like it. That's why she doesn't ask a lot of questions until she has to.

"So, you can feel emotions from other people?"

Trish is a bit surprised by her sudden interest. "Yeah, but there is a huge spectrum and I still have to catalogue them, if I'm not trying to block them out, because of a headache. So far I just sense that you're feeling something unless it's intense, but I can better identify what it is, when I see your face or hear your voice."

That does relax Jessica a little bit. "So, what do you get from me?"

"Nothing I didn't know already. There is constant anger just waiting under the surface. Everything else is too nuanced. Affection I can tell I think." She smiles smugly.

"What about our saint punching bag?"

Trish chuckles. "There is also very little to go on. I think he's suppressing a lot. But the most recurring one for him could be guilt."

"That sounds rather likely, Sherlock." Jessica shakes her head. "Well, tell me if you ever think he gets especially numb. I am pretty sure he was sliding into a depression before I got him out of the convent."

Trish looks at her alarmed. "I think, he's fine now, but I'll look out for any indication to that."

 

* * *

 

Of course, he has to start working again, especially now that Fisk isn't making any moves. There is no point in waiting until something happens and he has to earn money. Fisk is probably preparing for a big surprise, but there is just no way for them to know what. Unless Jessica has some breakthrough soon. He knows she's blaming herself for putting Trish in danger and it's easy for him to see how stupid it is. But he recognises that he'd do the very same in her shoes. There is one good thing about someone seeing him with Trish though: Daredevil was active that night. It might just help confuse them about his identity, unless they already knew someone else was filling in for him.

Thinking of Trish makes his mind jump back to their little hand holding sessions. He thinks she might be flirting with him intentionally. Or she's just very friendly. They do get along well. There was a bunch of sharing on both sides, things he didn't discuss with everyone, even the people who knew who he was. And it all feels rather natural, except for the fact that it all happens quite fast.

He felt he had to change gears with her, so he insisted on teaching her breathing techniques and meditation. Trish did seem to get the hint though and it's also true that this would help her work on her problem alone. After a couple of days he decides to pay her a visit to see how she is doing.

 

* * *

 

A week goes by without anything major happening, at least as far as Trish knows. Maybe nobody is telling her what is really going on. After he has mostly recovered, Matt comes over to check on her. And she is determined to use that opportunity and ask him for a favor. He did tell her a lot of interesting things about his enhanced senses and about how she can manage her overload every time she did visit him to ease some of the pain and confusion. But maybe he could do more.

There is a lot of activity in her brain and she's slowly discovering what it's doing. Still, she is mostly clueless and even when she understands some of it she isn't able to use it. It could be useful, right? Matt is very invested in helping with her new condition which he can apparently relate to in a way. It may also have to do with him blaming it all on himself, while Jessica is doing the same thing. Why they can't just blame it on the men who took her, or the devious woman who helped them, she'll never get.

Matt first asks about changes or her progress in dealing with it like he did every time she saw him. "How are you feeling?"

"Still fighting the headache every single minute." She groans.

"I'm sorry." Yep, that emotion she likened to guilt is back.

"Stop it! You're not responsible."

She holds her head again. Getting upset makes it worse. He also still looks beaten up. Or again? You probably never know with him.

"Give me your hand and concentrate on my voice."

And then he repeats the treatment he always gave her at Claire's place, talking about random things that are happening. She knows how it works by now and can calm herself down a little, but it's still better when he does it. And it works even better now. This is the first time her head feels completely free of pain since all of this started. So now she can also appreciate the way he touches her more and it does funny things to her stomach. He radiates warmth and serenity, so that's how she labels the emotion she picks up with her new ability. She sighs.

"How do you do that?"

"It's easier here because your place is much more quiet. I like it." He smiles and her heart skips a beat. Damn. She doesn't get anything from him this time. Maybe she is blocking it out randomly. She is still not sure how she can tell and he doesn't seem very eager to help her detect emotions.

"I could teach you be more aware."

There it is. She studies his facial expression. A quiet anticipation, maybe? If he's excited about teaching…

"There are other things you could teach me as well..."

His brows go up and he smirks. "Oh, really...? You think you can utilize your abilities as versatile as I can utilize my senses?"

It hits her after one innocent second that he might think she's talking about something entirely different, as she remembers that conversation about how his senses could be useful in certain situations...

"Matt! I'm not talking about the bedroom. I'm talking about kicks and punches. Sensing what your opponent does. Stuff like that."

He blushes, chuckles and for a moment even looks a bit disappointed. She decides to think about that later.

"Jess would kill me." His voice suddenly sounds very serious and maybe that's where the disappointment comes from. Does he want to train her? She decides to be bold, nudges his face in her direction and says: "Then let's just start with meditation or whatever helps not just to block the noise out, but to be more aware of what it is showing me. You liked that idea before." She'll just start working with her usual trainer again, but this might help as well. No, it definitely will.

When he agrees she smiles with barely contained excitement.


	7. This is Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt tries to help Trish get a grip on her new abilities. Of course, she really wants to learn how to fight from him, while he has other ideas how to distract her from that plan.  
> When it looks like Jessica is finally getting somewhere with a new informant things blow up...

If he didn't know better, he'd think Trish is trying to seduce him. But he suspects what she really wants is for him to train her. At least that is what she asked for. She's definitely cunning, not in a dark way like Elektra, but he still had to be careful around her. This is a woman who got what she wanted. And she is obviously hot. Teaching her how to fight was not an option though. She was capable, but he didn't want her to get any dangerous ideas and she definitely would. He also knows Jessica would not be in favor of that and he would not go behind her back. Also, Trish sensing emotions actually creeps him out. So he does not really want to help her get better at it. He knows he's a hypocrite for thinking that way with him hearing heartbeats and all, but he can't help it.

Still, there wasn't really any harm in just showing her how to control and filter whatever she is sensing. It will improve her fighting skills as well, but primarily it will help with the headaches. So he agrees to do it.

"We're going to have to do it my way. Cover your eyes with a scarf or something. That way you don't have to think about closing them."

Trish hurries out of the room before he can change his mind. "I'll just get one and we can use my gym. It's the first door on the right side from the entrance."

Matt knows where the mostly empty room is. The smell of the floor, of sweat and some weapons in one corner he recognises easily. He's sure, she has other intentions after she gets him in there. Well, he can make use of the room in a not-fighting-related capacity. She'll see. It is ON.

After Trish is blindfolded, Matt makes her do some exercises where she needs to "see" the room without looking and she's still disorientated easily. She stumbles and runs into him a couple of times making him chuckle. But he guides her gently and touches her as little as possible. When she starts getting better at it she immediately gets cocky and tries to kick him, but he just catches her leg amused. Her heart skips when he whispers into her ear: "Try that again and I'm gone." He then punishes her by switching to boring breathing techniques.

Before she can take her blindfold off in the end he surprises her with a soft goodbye kiss on her cheek. When she can see again, he left already.

The fact that there was no activity from Fisk for such a long time makes Matt nervous. Especially after the last two attacks were very well coordinated. They only failed because they expected him to work alone and because they weren't meant to kill, yet. Now Fisk is free and he can operate from anywhere. He is probably watching him and everyone who helped him so far. They all have to be very careful. Castle is protecting Karen now, since he could be trusted with her safety, if nothing else. Luke is with Claire most times anyway and Foggy is staying at Matt's place now while Jessica stays with Trish. And the police is there as well. They all have each other's numbers and could inform everyone simultaneously the moment they see something suspicious. Matt does not want any more surprises with Fisk striking again on several locations at the same time. They could of course go and hide, but all of them have a life after all that they could not put on hold. They have to keep working.

Fisk also probably knows that Jessica is working with Daredevil / Matt Murdock now which makes it more difficult for her to gather more information. But she says she is close to getting a good informant high up in the hierarchy and she plans to test him soon.

 

* * *

 

Jessica is finally getting some decent sleep with the help of a lot of alcohol. But it's also making her anxious that they are waiting for Fisk to do something. She runs into a lot of dead ends and still worries that Trish's condition could get worse or that there could be something else going on with her that they don't see right now. The doctors seem to be confident at least that she is fine. She just has to get used to whatever her brain is doing or she'll have to take that stuff that dumps it down a bit for the rest of her life. Matt knew what she needed, but he is certainly not taking it himself for his senses. He has to use their full potential for his fights anyway, so it is possible to control something like that brain overload if you've practically been a child soldier and trained your whole life. Well, now his awful experience is useful. Not that it didn't give him an unbelievable set of skills with his disability, but his upbringing also screwed him up in ways he doesn't even realize. This Stick guy and Trish's mom would probably have gotten along.

"Does it help to work with Matt on blocking stuff?"

Trish shrugs. "I don't know yet. He says that I'm training subconsciously as well if I concentrate on every little task. On all the little details. It sounds a bit too spiritual to me, sometimes. Still... The headaches aren't unbearable anymore."

"It's a start. Tell him if it's not working for you, since his situation is different. You can see, so you don't have to rely on all the extra information you're getting, if it's even helpful. You can try to ignore it."

"He shows me how to concentrate on just sound, smell or my new abilities sometimes and that does help. I think it's a good method for now."

"What about touch?" Jessica smiles suggestively.

Her sister laughs and slaps her shoulder lightly. Jessica observes her friend, deciding they still haven't done it. "I'm trying to figure out if you want to bang him or learn to fight from him."

Now Trish is even more amused. "What would you prefer?"

"By now I think you two testing those abilities on each other in the bedroom is only a matter of time and I'm pretty sure I have more nightmares about you roaming the streets with him at night." Jessica takes a sip of whiskey.

"You don't really have nightmares about us sleeping together, right? That would be weird."

Jessica snorts and Trish takes her bottle to drown that thought.

"Sometimes I want to punch him and sometimes I want to take him against the wall. But he is definitely more inclined towards seducing me at the moment."

"Well, good for him. I gotta go."

Jessica is finally getting somewhere with her new informant. He even suggested to meet them in Matt's church which she takes as a good omen, but she has to go now if she wants to be there before he changes his mind.

As she hears sirens in the distance, she is getting agitated. They are coming right from the direction of the church, so she starts running. Even from afar she can see smoke coming out of the building and as she gets closer the huge flames are unmistakable. There has been an explosion, people around her say. As she gets there she jumps up one of the windows where the fire hasn't spread yet and sees Matt in his street clothes navigating through the flames to save an old woman. She jumps at his side.

 

* * *

 

He's on pure adrenaline acting on instinct and doesn't even realise he's not in costume until Jessica arrives. Saving people in his everyday clothes will make things difficult. She's taking the woman from him, but sticks around, probably saying something, he thinks.

In his current condition Matt won't be able to help anyone else, but it is unlikely that more people survived this anyway. So he shakes his head. "All dead."

He's just standing there and vaguely registers her scent leaving for where he remembers the entrance should be.

Jessica needs to get the woman to safety before taking care of him, so she does just that. Should he try to follow her scent or go to the back? He can sense the flames around slowly closing in on him.

It is all going to hell. The smoke is assaulting his senses, but his head slowly clears and he is becoming aware of the fact that Fisk just blew up his church and him almost with it.

 

* * *

 

They are trying to prevent her from running back in, but she can't see him anymore anyway, so she just hopes he did what she told him to do. She runs around the church, looking for him and sends a message about the bomb to everyone. One by one they all answer that there is nothing suspicious happening anywhere else, but they are all keeping their eyes open. She's about to run back to see if he's still in the fucking church when she finds him sitting on the ground in some corner with his head in his hands and fingers on his ears, shutting out most of the noise.

Jessica sits down next to him, very carefully touching his back which still startles him. She was never able to surprise him like that. He's starting to fold his hands like he is praying and she rubs his back in soothing circles taking a deep breath. There is a lot of noise and she thinks she needs to take him to a place that's less overwhelming, but he doesn't move. She asks if anyone is close by to pick them up and Foggy is the first person to answer.

By the time he arrives Matt is leaning into Jessica and just says: "Quiet." She whispers: "Let Foggy take us somewhere less noisy."

But he still wouldn't move, so Jessica tries to pick him up, which confuses him. He then gets up on his own and she just leads him to the car. After she sits next to him she pulls him close again.

"Should we go to his place or Claire maybe? Is he hurt?" Foggy is not sure what to do.

Suddenly Matt utters: "Home"

"Okay, buddy, on our way." And he starts the car.

 

* * *

 

His breathing becomes easier on the way, because without the smoke he's able to use some of his senses again and he thinks his hearing might come back as well. It must have been the noise of that explosion. He is terrified that he won't ever hear again. Of course, it was a lot louder for him than it was for everyone else, so it makes sense that it also takes longer to come back. Being in a place he knows will help, but Jessica's embrace is also reassuring. Fortunately he was still able to smell her, despite all the stupid smoke. Thank god she's an alcoholic. The Whiskey in her breath was quite easy to detect the moment she started talking to him. He was just missing the words.

When she later found him behind the church, he was clinging to her, both from grief and out of a very new and terrifying feeling of true helplessness. If she had let go of him and left he didn't have any way of knowing when she would be back and what she'd do. All he could do was wait for his hearing to return then. The smoke all around and the fire were also messing with his other senses. It even took a while for him to realise that she wanted him to get into the car. She probably thought he was just in shock, not completely lost without most of his senses.

He can feel the car stop so he lets go of Jessica, slowly climbing out. But he's still disorientated and maybe he has to explain somehow.

"I can't hear." That should be clear. Someone immediately grabs his arm. There is some reluctance until they lead him to the stairs. From there he can take it with a bit of stumbling. He's relieved as soon as he enters his apartment and can sink down on the couch. Foggy pats his head and he smiles, knowing his best friend to be there as well. Jessica must have called him. He opens his arms and asks: "Foggy?" His friend sits down next to him, throws an arm around his body and holds him tight. "Thank you both. I really didn't know where I was going. I've never been so happy about Jessica's Whiskey scent."

After a while someone drops his laptop in his lap. Good idea, since he can still read braille. He's clicking on an article on the church bombing. Right, Jessica has to know, what happened. He sighs. At least his priest wasn't the one who died.

"Roman, your informant, was carrying the bomb. He was terrified. I knew something was going to happen, so I tried to get people to leave, but it was too late for the front rows. I was just helping this older woman when the bomb went off." He reads the rest of the article. 26 were dead and over 30 more injured. It's a good thing he didn't act blind then, or it could have been even more victims. Or it could have been none if it weren't for him. There is a hand on his shoulder again.

 

* * *

 

"You have to come over here or we'll all have to stay at your place tonight. Matt apparently lost his hearing after the explosion. Foggy would be better at protecting him right now."

Shit. "I'm taking a shower, then I'm coming over."

"Use your usual shampoo or you'll freak him out."

Trish does as she's told, grabs some of her's and Jessica's things and drives over to his apartment. She arrives to him working his coffee machine expertly.

"He appears to be fine."

"Hello to you too, sister. Foggy thinks he just knows the place by heart and trusts us."

"He didn't even notice you yet. Don't startle him. He already attacked a chair that we moved." Foggy grins at her. "Oh, and hi!"

"Hello to you, too." Trish cheers finally.

Jessica then touches Matt's arm and pushes it forward to make him aware of his new guest. He extends his hand for a greeting and Trish takes it. "Hi Trish!" His smile doesn't reach his eyes though. No surprise there. And no emotion whatsoever. Also, touch and smell is enough then to confidently identify her. Troubling and a bit impressive.

"We should talk about sleeping arrangements. I think you two should share his bed, I've cuddled enough with him for the day, Foggy can take the couch and I'll sleep on the floor." Jessica winks at her.

"I thought you were not trying to play matchmaker?" Trish pretends the prospect of cuddling with Matt and comforting him doesn't appeal to her, but she also doesn't want to get her hopes up. Also, he's still in shock, so shame on her for thinking that.

"Well, I changed my mind. You are adorable together. I've warned you enough, now I just want see where this goes." Jessica fakes thinking if she's going to say more. "I'd even watch if you let me."

And Foggy adds: "Ugh. I don't want to see or hear anything, but I approve wholeheartedly. Apart from Karen, you're the best woman he could end up with."

He raises his hand for a high five with Jessica, but she just flicks his forehead and Foggy giggles.

"He's standing right there!" Trish protests. Matt is sipping his coffee being clueless, looking tense and mourning.

"You were making suggestive remarks about him only last week, standing right there. What changed?" Foggy raises his eyebrows and Jessica nods confirming her statement with inappropriate gestures.

Trish mocks looking scandalized.

"Remember, his church just blew up?"

"It is still mostly standing and he saved a lot of people without sacrificing himself. I count this as a win. We can't let those things crush us all the time."

Jessica is right about that. Trish considers if something really changed. Now she knows Matt a lot better and that did not make him any less appealing. It only made him less cute and more intense. She didn't even know that he was Daredevil back when she was making those comments about him. Didn't even know just how good his hearing really was, or used to be... Maybe she did take Jessica's warning seriously or she's just scared that she is now ridiculously attracted to him and he didn't see her that way, despite all the teasing. She is fully aware that he's trying to distract her from the idea of him training her. Maybe he is attracted to her as well and just decided not to do anything about it in a stupid attempt to protect her. All the hand holding and talking to soothe her pain certainly did not make her feelings any easier to ignore. And so far she could not name the emotions he has around her, when there were any.

 

* * *

 

"I think I'm starting to hear what you're saying. Just so you know." He doesn't want to repeat what happened last time when Trish was there. It was not very polite of him, but he couldn't help it. "There is no need to blush, I didn't understand anything yet. You're too far away."

There is more mumbling. Foggy then sits down next to him and speaks directly into his ear. "Do you understand now?"

"Yeah, I do." He concentrates on Foggy's voice.

"We're all staying here tonight, so Jessica can protect us. I think you're more helpless at the moment than Trish, buddy."

He laughs. "Trish is hardly helpless." There is more blushing.

"Well, she's sleeping in your bed to protect you then, I'll take the couch and Jessica will sleep on the floor."

So much more blushing… interesting.

"No problem I also have a spare mattress. I'll be right back."

It's easier to move around, now that he can hear what he's tapping against. He finds the mattress and tries to remember how to maneuver it best. He then puts it down next to the couch saying: "It's probably even more comfortable than yours, Jess. Make yourself at home, please."

"See? It's for me. You get to cuddle after all."

More mumbling and blushing.

"What?" Yeah, he got that, but he's trying not to let it show and embarrass Trish further. Matt intends to keep his hands to himself, but if she has other ideas, he wouldn't really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be visiting my family over Easter, so I'm not sure if I can keep updating daily. There should definitely be a new chapter by Tuesday, though. And thanks everyone for commenting! I'm treating this as a writing / language practice, so constructive criticism is absolutely welcome. ;)
> 
> Happy holidays / spring break everyone!


	8. You Got What You Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step forward and five steps back. Things get a bit more complicated.

She is sliding under her blanket facing his unfocused eyes.

"Headache?" he asks, inviting her to take his hand. She does. There is no headache, because she is already concentrating on him, focusing on that impossible man and forgetting all the baggage around them. His soft smile, his eyes, his voice. He just starts talking about his first memory of the church and the day he met Father Lantom which keeps her awake longer.

"I'm not religious," she admits, for the first time feeling like this is something that she'd rather hide. But she doesn't want to lie.

"I'm not surprised. You're not the type."

She could tell him that he can stop massaging her hand, but she's glad that he continues. "Did you talk to your priest...? About what you do?"

"Yes. He was actually the only one who knew in the beginning. The only one who could give me advice."

"Does it help?"

"It does. I think you'd enjoy talking to him as well." Suddenly she can see him go tense again. "I haven't been there since.... coming back."

Shit. "Is he....?"

"He wasn't there today." His smile carries relief and guilt. 

"It's not your fault." 

Matt tells her some more about Father Lantom and she can't deny that she is intrigued and glad the priest was there for him. She falls asleep while he is still stroking her hand.

They don't wake up cuddling to her disappointment. He has not moved an inch and appears to be sleeping. She takes a moment to appreciate the view of him shirtless trying to ignore all the injuries and decides to snuggle a little closer. His eyes open then because of the movement staring right through her, but he smiles. Trish can feel his hand on hers again, as if stopping his ministrations woke her up.

She greets him with a tired "Good morning".

"It's still the middle of the night."

"Oh."

There is a comfortable silence in which she again moves closer.

"I'd really like to kiss you."

"Okay."

He tilts his head closer until she can feel his breath and then their lips start touching. They move slowly at first, but as both of them are waking up, they become more insisting and demanding. Trish is really starting to think that those senses are useful after all, as she hears his throat make content noises at her little touches and feels a wave of… affection roll over her. And what is his hand doing in her neck that summons all those goosebumps? She's never been this turned on from a kiss without using tongues before. They're not even touching below the shoulders and she's almost trembling.

It's over as quickly as it started. He suddenly jumps up shouting for Jessica while Trish blinks out of her blissful dream. Was it really a dream?

She needs a clear head in his presence from now on, or she'll make a fool of herself. Right, there is a fight going on in the next room. Matt didn't even bother with trousers before running into it. He just has his sticks and boxers. There is gunfire as well. She puts her jeans on as fast as she can and grabs his shirt when she hears him shout: "Stay in there, Trish."

Na, she doesn't think so. She informs the others with her phone and takes something she can use as a weapon.

 

* * *

 

Jessica wakes up from him shouting her name and reacts on instinct, rolling Foggy off the couch and taking cover with him, before the shooting starts. She presses the scared lawyer's head down. In the silence, Matt runs in in his boxers, weapons drawn. He pushes his body to the wall next to the window and she just hopes his hearing is fully back now. At least heartbeats he can count again, because he signals three fingers.

As she hears him shout that Trish should stay inside, one of the attackers jumps in through the window behind Jessica, so she's going there to take care of that guy. First she kicks the gun out his hand and prevents him from going after it by grabbing his windpipe and stopping his breathing effectively. She then sees Matt fighting the other one moving fast and changing his position constantly, so the shooter outside keeps missing him.

Then suddenly Trish runs in crouching next to Foggy and slowly taking him to the more secure kitchen area. For a moment this distracts Matt and gives his opponent time to get a good kick in. Jessica decides she needs to take care of the shooter fast, so she jumps outside. After she tells Trish to stay the fuck there.

She hears two more shots and hopes Matt was able to move away from the wall in time.

 

* * *

 

Matt is struggling after Trish decided to come into the battlefield. There is a bullet in his arm now making him focus on kicks, but Jessica is engaging the shooter outside in a fight. That's one less thing to worry about. His opponent is a strong fighter and he can't find any weaknesses. But his own weak spots are really on display in his underwear. Past injuries from the battle with Trish's abductors are still visible. His hearing is also not perfect yet. After he loses his balance for a moment he finds himself pushed against the wall fighting for breath. That's when Trish knocks the guy out from behind.

He has to catch his breath first, but anger is building up fast. "Thanks, but what were you thinking coming in here like that?!"

"I wanted to help and you clearly needed it."

Jessica comes in with another body. "You distracted him Trish. He almost had the guy before that. Robe?"

"Fine." Trish is fumbling with her phone now, probably letting everyone know they're okay. They are not.

Jessica and him start tying up the bodies. Then Trish mumbles: "I knew what I was doing, where the shots were coming from. If he got distracted, that's his fault."

What. The. Actual. Fuck. He just glares at her angrily and she dares him to say something.

Jessica didn't hear anything so she moves on to the next topic: "They know you're Daredevil after this. Might make things more complicated if we keep them alive."

"Yeah, Fisk good as knows it anyway. But he can't prove it, yet." He still stares at Trish.

"That could be his plan, though. Putting you as Daredevil in prison. You have to be more careful about that. You exposed your identity at the church yesterday as well."

"I also remember acting truly blind after the explosion. I'll never let anyone die, just to protect my identity."

Jessica nods. She doesn't dress up in the first place. "Just, maybe don't walk around as Matt Murdock that much. You also didn't get to change before they tried to kidnap Foggy."

Foggy agrees. "She has a point, buddy." Wow even his best friend thinks, him being Daredevil right now is the better option. That's a first.

The lawyer in him also knows that a trial against Daredevil is the last thing they need right now. They call the police to make the arrests and tell them the vigilante helped them. Brett Mahoney also knows that he was at the church and asks some questions about the bombing. They treat it as an act of terror. "Someone said that a blind man started to tell people that they should leave..."

Matt expected that question: "I heard him mumble that they are all going to die." Not really. His heartbeat went nuts and Matt smelled explosives. Should he tell them that Roman was scared? What kind of assumptions would that lead to, though? He decides not to say anything else.

When Claire later looks at his bullet wound properly she asks about the one person he doesn't care to talk about. "How is Trish doing?"

"She's fine. Reckless, but lucky." Claire observes him silently. "I think she won't need my help anymore."

Claire wants to say something, but decides to just poke in his wound making him hiss. He feels it might have been intentional.

"How is Luke?"

Claire smiles. "He would be better if I didn't have to stitch you up quite as much."

"Not like I'm doing it on purpose." He pouts, preparing for the usual lecture.

"I know." He cocks an eyebrow. "She cares about you, you know?"

He stays silent after that comment.

 

* * *

 

Luckily, Fisk's assassins don't reveal Daredevil's identity after their arrests. When Jessica goes to see them they stay silent. They must get payed well if they don't turn on Fisk when they're arrested for attempted murder. She doesn't think that he is a man who inspires much loyalty and fighters like them aren't easily scared. It's how he can fund all this after being in prison that baffles her. Maybe there is some kind of alliance they are not aware of. She goes over everything Roman mentioned before the bombing, but he held back on the most important information, because he didn't trust her. He was just trying to save his family and his criminal son. Meeting Matt was supposed to change that, but apparently Fisk got to him first.

It was time to pay Roman's son, Jonah, a visit. That one was loyal towards the brutal crime lord, seeing him as some kind of mentor even after killing his father. She thinks, maybe Roman didn't treat his family very well and that made the kid turn to the man he wanted to betray. But there is also fear in him, so she tries to make him understand that she would make sure he gets the help he needs if he didn't want to become like his dad.

"Roman was an ass, but he blew up the church to save his family, you. Don't trust the man who made him do it." She's pretty sure that's gonna get him thinking.

Maybe he'll come around and contact her when he's ready to end this. She's also going to observe him for a while, see if he leads her somewhere.

 

* * *

 

Trish is increasingly annoyed that she's not a part of the investigation. Jessica talks to her about her progress, but only after she went to Jonah and Trish is pretty sure sensing his emotions could have helped.

"I didn't need you to tell me that he's scared, Trish." Her tone says she doesn't want to discuss this further.

She half heartedly prepares her little talk to a politician who is a candidate in the upcoming mayor election, a man who's determined to tackle corruption in Hell's Kitchen. Appearing in her talk show is supposed to make him more sympathetic, since voters think he is too serious and they don't like him much. She does. Especially off the air. He radiates the kind of compassion that Matt has when he talks about justice.

Thinking of Murdock makes her remember his anger that he did not suppress after helping him. Even Jessica agreed she distracted him. If they would just accept that she could be useful and a part of the team, they wouldn't be as surprised when she acted like it. Is she really supposed to ignore all her instincts and stand back while they are in danger? Her headaches even got better with all the practise. By now she is also used to them and they don't bother her that much anymore. And that is a relief, because she doesn't want to ask Matt to hold her hand again, since he hates her now. Damn.

It is finally time to start some digging on her own, if nobody is going to trust her to help. So she starts with her mother. Whenever she has time she follows her from a safe distance.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days after the attack on Matt's apartment there is an article about a Daredevil incident, but since he focused on guarding Foggy he was supposed to be on the other part of the town. Jessica knows it could still be him if he followed some criminal. If he heard something deeply troubling he would not be able to stop himself from helping. So she sends him a message and the answer is alarming. "That wasn't me." It also wasn't Danny. Someone else was out there pretending to be him. That could go south fast.

And then there is Trish Walker, her only family and superhero enthusiast. Getting to know the completely vulnerable man behind Daredevil made her think she could do this, too, apparently and Jessica realised she was itching to get more involved in this mess. For this one she blames him. He makes it look like it's noble and normal to risk your skin for strangers even if you're half dead already. As if the world would not be better and safer with him in it. As if he doesn't have a choice. If a blind man can do it, what's your excuse?

To his credit, he was even more shocked about Trish's behaviour than her during the last attack. No, he's angry and not in a cute Matt Murdock way. It's the devil's anger her girl has to deal with. She hopes he'll get through to her and make her understand.

 

* * *

 

Jessica's warning about being careful to protect his identity finally sinks in again when another man starts to wear his mask. Maybe Fisk plans to frame him for something the other man does. Or he wants to turn public opinion against him. This can't be good. And then it gets worse when he senses a familiar heartbeat approaching.

He can't deal with Trish right now, so he just throws a cup in front of her on the street. She stops in her tracks, but she goes up the stairs anyway waiting for him to open the door. He pushes down his anger and reluctantly lets her in. Maybe they just have to get this over with. Trish hesitates.

"I haven't seen you since the fight…"

Does she mean their fight against Fisk's last round of assassins or their argument afterwards?

"I'm not going to apologise. I have to deal with a man who beats people up pretending to be me now, on top of everything." He huffs, not hiding his annoyance.

"Yeah, I've heard." she's trying to take his hand, but he does not let her touch him anymore.

"What do you want?"

Trish is clearly taken aback by his attitude. "I want to help. I don't get headaches anymore thanks to you and I think I could do more. You of all people should understand what it feels like sensing so much all the time and not being able to control it. Not even being allowed to help the people I care about, makes me go crazy. If you would train me properly, I'd learn from the best. Don't you see?" She winces at the bad choice of words.

"I've been training my entire life and you know that even I get hurt from time to time. Can't YOU see why I don't want to worry about you putting yourself in danger - much less even contribute to that insanity?!"

He can see her realising how upset he is, but she decides to ignore it.

"Well, I've never been the sort to stand by and watch when I see or hear something bad happening. Ask Jessica."

He laughs. "I seriously doubt Jessica would support you in this. She's very protective of the few people she likes and she loves you. If something happened to you she'd go crazy and I for once will not be responsible!"

Trish sticks her chin out. "Well, I'll have my nose in this fake Daredevil business whether you like it or not. You might as well help me be effective. And safe."

He's furious now. She's twisting his arm into this. She forces him to train her and makes it sound like it's the only way he can protect her. Is she really so stupid to go through with that? He doubts it somehow, but can he risk it?

"I get lectured all the time for being reckless, but I know I'm more useful when I'm alive. Are you telling me you're worse than me?"

Anger is pouring out of him now and she stares at him trying hard not to look intimidated. "Well, I'm not suicidal. I'll try to be careful…"

A frustrated grunt releases in his throat and he slumps on the couch. He buries his head in his hands with a long sigh. "Fine then. You don't give me any choice, but I have two conditions: Don't do ANYTHING alone. I mean it. I won't train you, if I find out you've been snooping on your own and even if you never were in any danger. Let me be the judge of what is safe to stick your pretty little nose in."

"Okay…", she mumbles.

"And you get a suit. I can take you to Melvin who did mine."

She looks so pleased about that it makes his stomach turn. It's time to crush her confidence and make her see what she forced herself into. He gets up and steps in front of her.

"Hit me. Throw everything you've got at me."

She hesitates.

"Don't worry, I won't even let you touch me." Arrogance on full display.

That makes her throw a punch and he dives away like it's child's play avoiding two more kicks. Trish is not discouraged easily though. She takes the challenge with more and more determination. She's not even close to hitting him, but seems to be enjoying herself which annoys him. This is not going well. She tricked him into doing it after all. When he thinks she sounds breathless enough he makes her stumble and pins her to the ground. "Enough for today."

She just stares at him, trying to catch her breath.

"Will you please stop getting aroused when I'm angry with you?!" He scrambles away as if she burned him.

"Not like I can help it…", she mumbles. Of course she did have an effect on him, too. She probably sensed that. Shit.

"Please, just… go. You got what you wanted."

He hears her leave and sighs.


	9. Fakedevil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fake devil walks around town like bait for the real one. Trish realises she screwed things up with Matt and hopes she will at least be able to help him.

Trish's mind races. This is not how she wanted it to be at all. She'd honestly never thought he'd be that angry. And it was incredibly hot. There is a reason she had a thing for Daredevil way before she knew who he was. She marvels at how gracefully he avoided all her kicks and punches. That man certainly has full control over his body. And since he's blind it doesn't even make a difference when he has his back to her. She already knew that, but seeing it was different. Of course that's how he can fight against several criminals at once and still be the last one standing, even if he's bleeding like crazy. She really didn't realise just how good he was at this even without special powers in the common sense. And still he got hurt...

But he also wasn't flirting with her anymore. She probably would have let the training idea go if he had made any indication that sex was still on the table. And now she is thinking of them doing it on the table and that doesn't help at all. She just screwed everything up between them.

Hopefully she made the right choice and she will at least be able to help against Fisk's newest scheme. That would be her only consolation. She wants to talk to Jess about this badly, but he is right. She'd be very pissed. And him being mad at her is bad enough. She also stops tailing her mother in her free time, trying to at least honor his wishes, as stupid as they are.

 

* * *

 

The first of them to see the fake Daredevil is Jessica and anyone who'd seen the real guy in action would not be impressed. He's much slower and probably can't run across rooftops that elegantly with those muscles. She discreetly takes pictures and even makes a video of him fighting, but she doesn't show herself, just follows him. He's putting on a show, stopping some small criminals and then he vanishes into a building. He does not reappear for an hour, so she goes home. Jessica sends her new evidence to Matt and then starts doing some research, because she's not tired yet.

Murdock's copycat didn't do anything bad yet, but she's sure he will, because that guy is not some deranged fanboy who's imitating an idol. He is on a mission. The building she saw him enter in the end does belong to someone who's vaguely connected to Fisk. And his attacks are also not as random as they seem. They are on a certain competing clan that rose to power while Fisk was in prison and concentrating on Daredevil too much. Not a bad strategy. He could fight the Morano clan and make it look like his biggest enemy was doing it. They have to be clever about this, or Matt would end up with those guys after his life, too. She already did some digging on that clan, since it was part of the plan to know Fisk's enemies. Now all that work could pay off.

 

* * *

 

Foggy tries hard to cheer Matt up, but it is a lost cause this evening. The uncertainty of the situation is making him anxious and being manipulated into training Trish doesn't help either. At least she promised she'd stay out of this for now. But he doubts she'll stay patient for long, because proper training is going to take time and she is very eager to run into trouble. She will be more capable of defending herself fast though. That will also help him concentrate on his fights and winning them more easily. It really isn't about him being macho and wanting to protect the woman that he… that he felt himself gravitating towards. He has never had a problem with capable female fighters like Jessica or Elektra. He knows they don't need his protection. But Trish seems to overestimate her abilities. She can take on one guy for sure, maybe even one with a bit of martial arts training, but she's far from being able to defeat two thugs confidently in a street fight and they are never alone. All he can hope for is that he'll be there when she first tries it. Who knows what would happen if she meets his Daredevil copy. Maybe she'd even think it was him.

That's when Jessica sends the video and that makes this scenario much less likely. She says that physically that guy looks more intimidating than him and quite different, but with so many muscles he won't be able to move as quickly. The video confirms that as well. He listens to the punches and they are rather slow. After two fights he can guess the man's rhythm. But he doesn't appear to be met with a challenge there and Matt doesn't want to jump to conclusions although Jessica seems to think he will have no problem defeating him. Still, it's a good thing she kept her distance, because all of this sure sounds like devil bait.

 

* * *

 

She's throwing punches and kicks until he pins her down breathing heavily. Trish thinks that's when he'll run and leave her all mad and sexy again, so she acts as fast as she can, pulls his face down and kisses him much more determined than in her last dream. He seems shocked and doesn't react at first, but then starts kissing her back and lowers his body onto hers. He attacks her neck with his lips making her gasp and rolls them around so she's on top of him.

They're frantically exploring each other now, her hand moving under his shirt feeling his muscles move. "Shirt off", she whispers in his ear between kisses and he gets rid of it immediately. She then kisses down his neck and chest, moving one hand over his pants and making him moan deliciously. "Stop…", he utters trying to catch his breath.

She then takes off her shirt and bra and he makes them switch positions again concentrating on her freed breasts. He pushes a hand down her pants entering her with one finger while his tongue and teeth are still busy on her nipple. Her hand wanders through his hair in pleasure scratching his skin and making him moan against her. She feels a second finger enter her and that's not enough, so she just pushes his head down her body hearing him chuckle.

She helps him move her pants away for better access. His tongue gets to work eagerly, knowing exactly where she wants him and making her come within moments. He moves up to kiss her with his hands still inside her bringing her down slowly. Suddenly she hears a click and sees the shadow of a man shooting him in the head. Blood everywhere. His lifeless body falling on top of her.

She screams and wakes up.

 

* * *

 

Jessica comes running in, surprised to find Trish sitting alone in her bed shivering slightly.

"Nightmare?" There is a slight nod.

"Someone shot him… Can you send him a message to check if he's alright?"

The PI knows who she is talking about, of course. And luckily, it's easy to put her mind to rest. "Don't worry. He just responded to my new evidence of Fakedevil imitating him badly. And he's even taking it more seriously than I would have."

Trish smiles relieved. "Thank god. Can you stay at his place later to make sure nobody kills him in his sleep?"

"Is that what happened in your dream?"

"Not exactly…" A lot of blushing.

Of course… "Well, I can go there if you want, but to be honest, we think Fisk has other plans for him at the moment. We think he wants to unmask him and frame him, put him in prison."

"I've heard this caller accuse him of working for some company. It's not the first time I've come across that claim. You think they might want to make him appear like some kind of mercenary?"

"Maybe…"

Trish swallows. "I don't think I'd be able to go back to sleep yet. Can you show me what you have?"

Jessica nods and they walk over to the living room where her laptop is still open to a picture of Daredevil's new enemy.

"The guy is huge." Trish worries.

"Yeah, but look at the video." She double clicks on it. "He might be strong, but Matt is way too fast for him. You haven't seen him fight in topform. That guy will not even get to hit him once. Unless you distract him of course…"

"I saved the idiot that day." Trish mumbles. But Jessica's observation seems to reassure her. It makes her relax a little.

Jessica fills Trish in on their theories and strategies to deal with the problem.

"Your boy is tough and I'm there to save his tight little Daredevil ass if he slips up." Jessica smiles resting a hand on Trish's shoulder.

Trish makes a sad face. "He's not mine. And he's pretty angry with me at the moment."

"If it's still about that last fight you know I'm with him on that. You had no business being there. We had it under control."

"That guy was strangling him!", she argues.

"Murdock would have gotten out of that or I'd have helped him. The only reason he was in that grip was you running in there and confusing him enough, so he caught a bullet and had to rely on one arm and kicks. The man he was fighting was well trained and probably hit him right on his bruises. But he would have won anyway. Sure, it can get messy with him, but I've seen him in much worse shape and still come out on top."

Jessica was actually not that confident about this, but she didn't want Trish thinking she should be any more involved. If anyone had any business backing up Murdock it was going to be someone with special strength, certainly not his latest crush.

"Putting yourself in danger will only make him more vulnerable. That man is totally into you, don't fool yourself. I saw how amazed he was by the way you dealt with your kidnappers and I saw the way he cared for you afterwards, still on the brink of death himself. He already knows how badass you are. Stop trying to impress him."

"I'm not trying to impress him…!" She didn't sound that convincing.

"I hope so. You'll also have more luck getting into his pants if you're not a pain in his ass."

Trish punches her arm for that one and Jessica just laughs.

 

* * *

 

Matt investigates his double thoroughly the next couple of days and one night he even leaves Foggy at Trish's place to check out where Jessica had seen him when he hears someone say his vigilante name. He concentrates on the big man in the street (he's not even walking on the roofs) and waits for him to be engaged in a fight. It takes a while and when he finally is confronted by two assholes who want to act tough, he teaches them a lesson and Jessica's assessment is right. It appears that he is rather slow. Still every blow that hits something dishes a lot of damage and the two overconfident attackers moan on the ground within moments. He doesn't try to kill them, so there is no need to take action.

Attacking him would also be foolish, because there were two snipers waiting for him to do just that. Still, he doesn't want to wait for Fisk's new plan to progress and takes one of the snipers out but he hears the other call for reinforcements and the fake devil was also nowhere to be sensed, suddenly. Since snipers are involved he knows he should not do this alone. Asking Castle or Luke for help with this group would probably be smart. So he contacts them. But he silently flees the area before he receives an answer and they agree to go together the next night - without deadly ammunition, of course. Danny and Colleen will take Karen and Claire.

Thankfully Trish did not come back after their first fight lesson. Maybe he did manage to scare her of. He just hopes she doesn't do anything stupid like she promised. And that he will get to see her again eventually. He doesn't expect her to get into trouble the next evening while Frank and him wait for the fake devil at the building he used to vanish in though. Maybe he should have. After he hadn't been successful last time they probably expected him to come back with backup and decided to strike somewhere else.

 

* * *

 

Trish really felt bad about pushing Matt like that so she does not follow up on her deal with him. She messed things up and decided to give him some space to calm down. So she keeps herself busy with her radio show, works with her regular, less impressive trainer and also does the exercises Matt showed her. Even the boring ones.

One evening she has to interview a woman called Christine Shaw talking about insurance fraud cases and she's caught completely off guard when the woman theorizes Daredevil would be involved. She seems to be sincere about it as well.

"I was supporting him like you, but ever since that empty building came down and the company it belonged to made a huge profit I started to think. What kind of hero makes buildings explode? He was supposed to be the last one in there. I think he covered something up. And then I took a closer look into it all and it really started to make sense."

"No it doesn't! He saved a lot of lives on the streets and he's been fighting against organized crime ever since he started out."

"I believe he was corrupted along the way. Maybe it's not even his fault and he's been forced somehow to act like this. I know that Wilson Fisk…"

And that's when the electricity is gone and Trish hears the woman's shocked gasp. "He's coming to shut me up!"

"Don't be ridiculous. That would only make him look guilty and he's not…" Trish realizes what might be happening that second. Who's behind that last minute interview arrangement she wasn't able to prepare for. She calls Jessica.

"They're in the studio!"

"Way ahead of you."

They are ushered out of the recording room by security. Trish needs to save that woman and she needs to make her understand that this isn't Daredevil's work. She sees her starting to shake.

"Listen to me carefully now. If you want to know the truth, then whoever is behind this, whatever you see, don't jump to conclusions. Make sure you're accusing the right people. There is a guy posing as Daredevil out there and he really does not look like him at all. I've seen the footage. Just…. keep an open mind. Okay?"

And right on time there is a lot of noise outside, no gunshots though. She makes Mrs. Shaw hide in the closet. That's when his imposing figure enters.

"Mrs. Walker, I hear someone has been spreading lies about me. Would you care to tell me where I can find her, to explain to her how wrong she is about me? I'm sure you want to help me clear my name."

If she didn't know better she'd actually believe his act, so she plays along for now. "I don't know how to help you. If I could, I would."

Suddenly the window smashes and a woman with dark hair pushes a sword to the guys neck snarling: "Tell Fisk to stop messing with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen or I'll cut him and his fiancée into tiny little pieces." He kicks her away and makes her fly to the other end of the wall with both her swords falling out of her hand. He's pointing his gun at her and starts to shoot, but the woman is very fast and able to take cover where Trish is cowering as well. She does not get close to her weapons though, because then she would have to step right in front of him. "We didn't think you'd interfere, Elektra."

"Well, I have a soft spot for my sweet devil, even died in his arms in another life. And he's a lot hotter than you are. I'm personally offended that people think YOU'd tempt me to be good."

He just grunts. "But I'M gonna be the one to kill you now and it'll be MY pleasure, before I send Miss Walker and Mrs. Shaw with you."

Trish can see Elektra reach for one of her weapons under the table, but it's too far. She hears the man get closer and watches horrified, wishing desperately for a miracle. Suddenly she can feel and see the sword move and Elektra shoots her a calculating look, before she closes her hand around it and with one swift movement buries it in the fake devil's arm making him shoot at the cupboard twice. She takes it out again and he screams, stepping away from her and taking the gun in his left hand. "This is not over", he says and leaves the room.

Elektra picks up her second sword and looks at Trish who's still fixated on the blood dropping from the one she felt - made? - move earlier.

"Thank you, I think?", the deadly woman murmurs. "Tell them he was here to fight me and give Matt a kiss from me." She winks at her and leaves the way she came, through the window.

Trish then hears movement from the cupboard and opens it quickly. There is a lot of blood and she stares at the the red fluid pumping out of Christine Shaw's throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't believe you…", she croaks.

"Just don't die on me now!" Trish immediately covers the bullet wound.


	10. Too Good to be Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daredevil is accused of murder and people turn against him. Jessica can't believe that in this time Trish starts fantasising about some new power she thinks she has.

Jessica runs in finding Trish with a woman dying in her arms and screaming for help. Matt is on top of the neighbouring building observing the police arrive with an ambulance while Frank and Luke try to follow his imposter. He stays there contemplating if he should just surrender to put an end to this. There is not much they can do and within minutes Christine Shaw is gone for good. That leaves Trish to tell the police everything that happened. She explains that the death of the woman was an accident, but he doesn't believe it. Hopefully the police does. She appears to be rather convincing and the woman who attacked them sounds suspiciously like Elekra. Maybe she did hear the radio show as well and realized what was happening. Did she know before going in that it wasn't him in that station? Or was she trying to shut Christine Shaw up as Trish suggests?

He later hears Jessica and Foggy talk to Brett Mahoney who tells them that the security footage shows Elektra fighting Daredevil and him unintentionally shooting at the cupboard. It was a good call to present it like that and killing the woman might have actually been an accident. Still, he shouldn't aim a gun at anyone anyway. Of course, a lot of people did not believe it was all a coincidence. Matt would not either. He understands that it looks bad. After all, the woman who accused him, was just shot by a guy who pretended to be him. He hears the city discuss the incident all at the same time and the initial verdict of the public seems to be that he is guilty.

When Jessica calls him they agree to meet at his place and she arrives shortly after him. She tells him what Trish said had happened after the broadcast stopped. They were probably using her show because she knew him.

"What I don't understand is that the guy actually pretended to be you, even in front of Trish. I was sure by now they know who you are and still they thought she would not know. Even after you saved her as Daredevil."

He swallows. "So? They expect me to be a lying bastard then."

She shakes her head. "Or they know how much you care about her and how much you want to keep her out of this."

"I want to keep everyone out of this." He glares at her. Really, the amount of people making this their business is getting ridiculous. Sure he had called Castle and Cage, but only to finally be done with it all. That was his choice. "In fact, I was thinking of surrendering to the police earlier. I think we can prove that this wasn't me. Fisk can't frame me for anything else when I'm in prison and no one else will die because of me."

"I knew you were an idiot, but you keep surprising me, Red." Frank climbs in through the window. "What about all the innocent people you can't save when you're in prison?"

Matt makes a frustrated noise. "I'm not taking moral advice from you, Castle."

"Then take it from me." Luke is not far behind and he also looks concerned. "There is no point in you giving yourself up here. You didn't do anything wrong and Fisk is still out there…"

"Well, you guys can deal with him, right?"

Jessica makes an exasperated sigh. "Why do you only want our help when you're about to sacrifice yourself?! There are a lot of people in prison who want to get their hands on you and those who don't are in Fisk's pocket. You're as good as dead without your armor there. Not gonna happen, Murdock!"

And Luke is with her on this. "Yeah, we need you here. Alive."

He looks at Frank who just shakes his head. It really did make a lot of sense, before they started talking him out of it. "You make it sound so easy."

"We know it's not." Jessica makes a serious face. "I almost did something like this and Luke was in prison."

Frank just nods. "She's right, you know. He owns the place. Tried to kill me there, too."

 

* * *

 

After talking the real devil down from giving himself up, Jessica decides to leak the footage she took of Fakedevil earlier. As people start to compare it with other existing videos of Matt fighting it is difficult to come to a conclusion without taking a closer look and a lot of them are not that invested in the truth. Thankfully quite a few people he has saved do come forward and confidently say that the man in the new video was not who saved them. People tend to remember quite well who saved their life.

"If the man at the radio station who killed that woman is the man from those videos then it's not Daredevil. They just need to compare it to security footage." One person writes. The security footage is part of the investigation now and does not get released though. Another one went online saying: "Daredevil saved my life and he didn't use a gun against a gang of 14 thugs. That guy might wear a very similar costume, but he is a completely different man."

Jessica is sitting in front of the laptop and sighs. "It's nice to see some people supporting him at least. There are so many ungrateful assholes who prefer to just assume the worst. It's why I never wanted to do this." This city doesn't deserve heroes.

Trish sits next to her enjoying her morning coffee. "I need to tell you something…" she hesitates. "You said I should tell you after this injection if something changed in me and I think it did."

Jessicas head snaps in her direction. This is what she was afraid of. "What? Something worse than the headaches?"

"During the fight with Elektra I think I made something move... with my mind." Trish swallows knowing how that sounds and of course Jessica doesn't buy it.

"I saw the video. There was nothing moving on it's own."

"It was the sword. You can't see it on the tape, because it is under the table. But she was not able to reach it on her own. She even thanked me afterwards…" Trish is getting agitated seeing the scepticism in her face.

Jessica shakes her head. Damn Trish and her superhero ambitions. "You're imagining things. Prove it to me."

"I've been trying to do it again, but it isn't that easy. I need training to control it."

How convenient. Jessica leans back in her chair. "Okay, you think you made a sword move. That is quite heavy. Try to give me the document on the Moranos over there with your mind and if it even moves an inch, I'll believe you."

Trish sighs. "It is not that unbelievable after everything we've seen. Mind controlling psychopaths turned out to be possible as well."

"I just know, you'd fucking love it to be true. That's all. Even after seeing how people treat our stupid martyr like shit. I just don't get it."

"Jess, it's true." Trish looks desperate.

"I'm sure you believe that. Fine, let me see."

Trish rolls her eyes and concentrates on the document. "Give me some time then…" She looks less and less sure about the whole thing. After more than a minute Jess rests a hand on her shoulder and says. "Trish, you know you're my hero already."

Trish sobs, angry and frustrated. "But she saw it, too…"

"Elektra is a psycho. She's just messing with everyone. Why would you listen to anything she says?"

"Because she was there to help Matt. You know she saved his life in the end and mine, this time. She even told me to make her the bad guy."

"Trish, she IS the bad guy. Trust me."

 

* * *

 

Matt finally receives a message from Trish asking for her second lesson and he's disappointed but also a little bit relieved. Even if she distracts him more than he would care to admit: After her run-in with his imposter and his crazy ex he can't deny that a bit more self-defence can't hurt, although her forcing him to train her twists his stomach.

When she opens the door for him he can't help being happy to see her. They "Hi" each other like awkward teenagers first. Then he suddenly sobers and moves past her. "So, let's get this over with."

He actually hears her eyes roll.

While walking to the training room she says nervously: "Elektra told me to give you a kiss from her." It's the truth, he can tell, but he doesn't know what to say to that.

"Please, stay away from her and don't let her get into your head."

Trish doesn't say anything else, but he knows she has a lot of questions. He's really not ready to talk about that.

Their second fighting lesson is actually a lot better and he's impressed how much she improved training on her own. She's a lot more aware of where he is standing, even with the blindfold on. He has to block her sometimes. Then he shows her some effective defense moves. In the end he almost tells her he's proud of her, trying to remember why exactly he didn't want to encourage her. When she tries to make a date for their next lesson, he doesn't fight it. He also tells her he can take her to Melvin the next day.

As he tries to leave he notices that her heartbeat becomes agitated. "Matt…"

He turns around. "Trish, I don't know what else you want from me. I just want you safe. And I don't care about Elektra right now. See you tomorrow." He doesn't want to fight anymore, so he just moves for the door.

"Wait….!"

Suddenly the door shuts violently in front of him. He frowns at Trish in alarm trying to figure out how that happened. She has her hand extended, eyebrows raised. There is certainly no other heartbeat around.

"I tried to tell Jessica, but she doesn't believe me."

"Did YOU just do that?"

 

* * *

 

Matt takes some steps back from the door, tilting his head and asking lots of questions suddenly. First about how she's feeling then about how she did that. She tells him how she thinks she helped Elektra get armed which he informs her is normally not a very smart idea. But he sees how in that situation she was very lucky to have his former girlfriend / living weapon on her side.

He also wants to test her newfound power a little more. Always careful to make sure she's still fine. It doesn't work again, she only makes a can vibrate once and then her headache comes back.

"Is that why you wanted me to stay?"

"Yeah… well, it's the reason I wanted your help again. I felt bad about forcing you to train me before, but when I noticed what I could do… I need to be able to control that and the cold shoulder you've been giving me… It hurt." Trish shakes her head. "I'd do anything to make it right."

Matt sighs and she thinks she has never seen him this sad. He then moves closer and stops when he's within her reach again finally. "I'm sorry about that. I kind of felt I needed to stay away from you. You distracted me before the fight in my apartment. I should have sensed the attack earlier, but our kiss…"

She gasps. "Wait a minute. That was real?"

There is an adorably confused look on his face.

"What did you think?" He giggles disbelievingly.

"Honestly, I thought it was a dream. After you were acting so angry, I thought I must have imagined that. It also felt way too good to be real."

He just stands there speechless for a moment. Then taking another hesitant step in her direction he leans in, lips on hers - again, apparently - and kisses her softly. His hands also find hers and Trish reminds herself that this is really happening now. After a few wonderful seconds he leans back and mocks looking thoughtful. "You're right. It does. Maybe we're both dreaming." A smile spreads across his face and she lets his affection wash over her.

"We could make sure…" She reaches for him this time crushing their lips together and feels him smile. Their tongues also get invited to the party before he slows it down and stops, both of them panting.

"But... that's... also the reason I wanted to stay away. I'm not that perceptive, when I'm kissing you. Foggy could have gotten hurt because of that, or worse..."

"Oh…" Trish remembers her nightmare about him getting shot in the head just like that and she sobers quickly. "So, I guess we don't want to take this further."

"No, I really, really do want that." He sighs. "But maybe we shouldn't. Not now."

She nods and he cups her face to make her look at him. "How is your head?"

"I don't care."

They hug for a while and he rests his chin on her head until her heartbeat is normal again.

"I have to go now. Pick you up tomorrow at three?"

"Okay." And they're back to him kissing her on the cheek. She closes her eyes. It is for the best.

 

* * *

 

The Fakedevil incident is all over the news and Jessica doesn't know where to start. She looks at the ones responsible in the radio station, but figures they just smelled scandal, when they invited Christine Shaw. Still, someone must have nudged her to go on Trish's show in particular. So she retraces her steps to see who she talked to and then something interesting comes up. A co-worker swears he saw her with an Indian man who looked like a well known politician. Could he be the one financing Fisk's return to power and his disappearance? She decides to dig into that when Matt calls. After they update each other on recent developments he sighs audibly.

"Jessica, I need to tell you something. About Trish."

She already knows she's not going to like that. "Tell me."

"Don't get mad, I really tried to dissuade her."

"She's as stubborn as you are, so I don't blame you. Out with it." Why all the suspense? She probably tried to convince him of her supposed mind moving abilities, Jessica assumes.

"She told me she'd do some digging on her own, if I didn't show her how to fight. I felt I didn't have a choice. I'm sorry."

She did not expect that one. So that is what they were fighting about. Not a big surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"She didn't push for a second lesson until today. I thought I scared her enough."

"Okay, I'll tell her to leave it alone."

"Wait, that's not all...! I think she's right."

"What?!" He can't be serious.

"I should train her."

"Absolutely not."

"Today she shut the door on me with her mind. I felt and heard it happen. There was no other explanation for this. Then she made a can dance a little. It is true."

Jessica lets this sink in and curses.

"If she can learn to control it, it could help her defend herself - even from a distance. She wants to do this, she's strong. I'm not gonna be an asshole about it. It was no coincidence that they did it in her radio station, Jess."

He would not want Trish running into danger either, she tries to remember. And knowing them seems to be enough to make her repeatedly end up in trouble anyway.

"You realise she'll do more than just defend herself, right?"

They both sigh. Of course he does. Nothing they can do to change it.

"Are you sure you can help her control it?"

"I'm sure I'm her best option at the moment. She already has become much more aware of her surroundings. I think, that could be the first step. We could also ask Rand if he has any ideas."

"I don't like this, Murdock. But thanks for letting me know."

"I'll never forgive myself, if she gets hurt."

"I know." Yeah, no shit. He'll feel responsible either way, whether he trains her or not.

She calls Trish immediately afterwards.

"What the fuck were you thinking, asking him to train you?"

"He told you?"

"Yes, I'm starting to think he's the more sensible one of you two."

"Well, it is sensible to use this, isn't it? It could help. I could actually help. He's the one under threat and I just wanna help protect him as much as I can. Can't a girl do that?"

"Fuck you. You're making me sound like a regressive bitch right now."

"You kinda are."

There was nothing she could do to convince her, Jessica knows. Time to give up and just hope for the best. "So, you're finally fucking?"

"Again with this?" She sighs. "No, actually. We're both scared shitless that someone could sneak up on us."

"Ah, your dream."

"Don't make fun of this. It was damn scary. And he told me he's not as perceptive when he's kissing me…"

"So there was kissing."

"Yeah, and it was already enough to make us both not think clearly..."

There is silence.

"Trish...? You're back there thinking of it now, aren't you?"

"Mh… We did it again, before we agreed to stop."

"Yep… senseless pining - check, bleeding half to death - in his case, that's a given, tragic ending - only a matter of time. It's a Murdock sobfest in the making. Just, please, be careful." She hangs up.


	11. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of talking about emotions or the lack thereof. Trish decides they all need to hang out and party to chill for a bit.  
> And I've set up a sequel in here. Let's see if anyone will be interested in it after this story. :)

Matt tried to ignore those feelings he has for Trish Walker, but after kissing her this has become even more difficult. That is just the kind of thing Stick would warn him about. He was getting attached and distracted and he really should be focusing on Fisk now. But from the moment he met Trish on her birthday he was attracted to her and she obviously felt the same. That became even more evident when she learned that he is Daredevil which was a new experience for him and now he is even helping her become a vigilante.

He is not sure what he has gotten himself into, but people keep telling him to stop trying to do everything alone and he is giving it a shot. He really can't be everywhere to protect everyone he cares about. If some of them could learn to protect themselves, that will be a huge relief. So why does he still feel like this will blow up in his face? He feels most accepted and appreciated in Trish's company, but it's somehow all subdued under a layer of dread. Something could happen to her or to anyone else while he is with her and he would be responsible. She could lose interest in Daredevil now that she starts her own journey helping the people in Hell's Kitchen. She could decide he's not the man she was hoping him to be. And then she'll probably leave like everyone does.

Matt meets her out of her work place to take her to Melvin. He's not wearing a lawyer's clothes, but a hoodie and jeans. She's in her professional less comfy outfit.

"It's gonna look like you're abducting me." She smiles.

"It feels like that, too. Do you want to change, before we meet my guy? You'll feel out of place out there."

"I don't mind." The next sentences make her nervous. "Do we have to shake hands, so you don't get distracted? Or do you think we can risk a hug?" 

It seems like she needs some reassurance here that they are fine after what happened last time. He nods, embracing her, but staying very tense and kissing her hair as well. He does not want to hurt her again and she relaxes with a regretful sigh.

"You're not making this easy."

"I don't like it easy," he says and smiles taking her hand in his to guide her to her car.

"I don't wanna know how you can tell where my car is, do I?"

"It has your fragrance, of course."

"Well, that sounds better than smell… or scent…"

"I aim to please." He tilts his head contemplating something. "You don't prefer me keeping a distance from you, do you?"

"No, I don't. This is nice. It's torture, but it's better than the cold shoulder treatment." She winces, letting go of his hand so they can both enter the car.

"I'm sorry." He really didn't expect her to accept so easily that they shouldn't move forward in their relationship yet. Not after she practically pushed all of his buttons to make him train her.

"I know and I get it now."

He tells her the address and they drive over in silence.

Melvin beams at Trish when Matt introduces them. "He told me you'd be coming by, but I didn't believe it. Betsy makes me listen to your show all the time."

She winces. "That has to be very boring."

"No, it's calming, really. Maybe you can give me an autograph for her?"

"Sure." Matt can tell that Trish warms up to him already.

"So, you need some protection. I guess as much as possible? Not like this guy?" Damn. Was that really necessary? He can feel her fixate him with an accusing glare.

"What? I need to be able to move as fast as possible, Trish. Speed is my biggest strength." She puts her hand on his throat and he realises that she's trying to feel his pulse. "Really?" She asks sounding sceptical.

"I'm not lying." Wasn't she supposed to sense his sincerity? Maybe he isn't open enough.

After a moment she seems to be satisfied. "Well, Jessica told me speed is your advantage over the other one, so that actually makes sense."

"There really is another Daredevil out there, huh?" Melvin interrupts.

"Yeah. I don't kill. Or carry guns. Remember?"

"They said it was an accident."

"I don't do accidents."

Trish rolls her eyes. "Unlike him, I was there. It really was an accident, but the guy did indeed intend to kill her."

"Fisk is plotting to put me in prison somehow."

"Then it's a good thing you have some allies." He then looks very serious, probably remembering how that turned out last time. "I'll make her suit as safe as possible." Then he smiles at Trish again. "You okay with that?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm not thrilled about the prospect of getting hurt like he is."

That's a joke right? It's not really like he enjoys pain. It's the fight he enjoys, the challenge.

"Any special abilities I need to take into account?"

Trish smiles looking over to a pencil rockily starting to float in the air. "Nothing a costume could help with."

Matt is surprised. "You haven't been able to move a can yesterday."

"I'm not supposed to work after witnessing a murder, so I have more time to practice. Starting to figure out how it works."

Melvin is excited: "That's so cool! Any colour preferences, or a special look you had in mind?" He gestures at Matt. "You like the little devil horns I gave him?"

"I LOVE the horns."

Matt smiles blushing a little bit.

"Personally, I'm more of a cat person. And I was thinking of… yellow?"

"What?! Yellow? Do you want to draw attention to yourself?"

"You're no fun."

"Melvin, please, don't make it too flashy….?" He's getting desperate here. This was not the point at all.

"Fine. But I want to wear a red wig. It would make sense for people not to know my real hair color."

"Well, if you start talking they might recognize your voice. It would make sense to throw people off with fake hair…" He thinks for a moment. "Also, she works more with her arms, so make them flexible and good for blocking."

"Understood."

"Sounds great." She hugs Matt again, more excited about her vigilante costume than he would like. He can tell that it amuses her to irritate him like that.

"You guys are cute together. Take care of him, Trish." Melvin winks at her and she ruffles Matt's hair. "I won't leave him out of my sight, unless I have to."

So, they look like a couple. Are they? Or are they both kidding themselves? Will he ever not be distracted? Claire was right. When Fisk is gone, there will always be another one. After Melvin takes Trish's measurements he tells them to come back in a week.

"I like him." Trish smiles when they are leaving.

"Of course, you do. He's sweet. Melvin has been looking out for me. I think I owe him my life."

"Then I owe him as well. Tell him if he ever has a song request for Betsy, I'll play anything. Even, I don't know... 3 Doors Down."

Matt giggles. "I don't think you have to go that far…"

"You don't know how much I appreciate you being alive."

 

* * *

 

Trish is in a good mood, when they arrive at her home and have another lesson. Even meditating is fine with her today and after that it really is remarkably easier to move stuff with her mind and let small things float. Then they do some basic self defense as well and Matt compliments her on her progress. Well, she even started to dream about fighting, so it is obviously on her mind a lot since she got kidnapped and attacked at her radio station. He really is a great teacher and she's glad she was finally able to convince him to help her help him. But she decides she is also going to honor his wishes about staying out of the investigation and he satisfies her curiosity by keeping her in the loop. They don't hear or see the other Daredevil again in the next couple of days. Maybe Fisk has a new plan for Matt which does not make Trish any less nervous.

In the meantime more and more people are calling for Daredevil's arrest and maybe his own city turning against him like that will crush Matt more than anything else Fisk could come up with. The way the issue drags on and on with more and more people getting involved is starting to take a toll on him. There are not many emotions coming from him, but whenever she picks something up at all it is guilt. Jessica doesn't get to work much on her cases besides Fisk, so Matt plans on paying her with his savings as much as he can. She wouldn't say anything about it, but Trish knows Jessica is avoiding her own problems by dealing with his. And she will probably feel insulted if Matt pays her. She'll take the money, sure, and make a snarky comment, but the friendship they've been building will suffer which Trish warns him about.

"I tried to tell her sometimes, how grateful I am, but she's not very good with feelings."

"That is one huge understatement."

"Yeah, I figured. You need to tell me how I can return at least some of her favors. I owe her so much. More than I can compensate with money."

Trish then remembers Jess complain about something weeks ago. "Did you get her a camera?"

"Yes, a better one actually, but I did break it before, so that doesn't even the balance in any way..."

"To be honest, I think taking her help is the best thing you can do for her right now. It gives her focus."

That is not enough for him, she can tell. He seems rather stoic. "She's the reason Foggy and Karen aren't mad at me. She's the reason I met you. She's the one yelling at me or making fun of me when I need to hear it. I did not know how much I really need a friend like her and I want to be the friend she needs as well."

Hearing that gives Trish's feelings for him another boost. Her two favorite people in the world right now looking out for each other. "I will help you with that in any way I can. I'm sure you'll get your opportunity to shine." She even has the idea to send him after leads about the origins of Jessica's power. But only after Fisk is dealt with. That could wait, so she does not want to mention it yet. "You know, don't beat yourself up over pulling us all into your fight with Fisk. We want to help, not just to save you and your friends, but because it is the right thing to do. A good cause."

"You're sure, you're not religious?" He smiles teasingly.

"Don't need no god to tell me what to do. Sorry..." Trish shakes her head and he hums approvingly. She's seen him hurt a couple of times now, but never this vulnerable, not even when his hearing was gone. Accepting help is definitely not easy for him. He is used to fighting alone and even from his best friend he kept so many secrets. She is so glad again that Jessica and her always had each other.

"It's funny. Jess was calling you a lot of names in the beginning."

"She still does." He laughs when he points that out and she realizes for the second time in this conversation that it doesn't reach his eyes. Suddenly she remembers Jessica's warning about him getting numb. Was he suppressing stuff, so she does not notice or was he just feeling less in general? She doesn't remember sensing anything that day although he seems rather hopeless. She slowly moves her hand on his cheek. In moments like these she'd like to look into his eyes and see him look back.

"Yeah, Jessica still does bitch about you, but I know it's because she cares. She even told me to stay away from you and I think it was for your sake as much as it was for mine." His eyes widen at that. "She knew I always had a not so secret desire to save the world. Meeting you had to bring that out and she knew you would worry about me. And she has this ridiculous theory that all your relationships are doomed."

Trish sees him swallow and regrets mentioning the last part immediately. "She doesn't even know how right she is about that. You should listen to her."

"Well, I do, because she's now actively rooting for us to hook up."

Ha! That made him laugh honestly. "Your sister is absolutely insane. It's a good thing you're not really related." Trish knows it's a joke. He already treats Jessica like the big sister he never had.

"Also, she is not very optimistic for anyone's relationship. It comes with the job…"

They sit together in silence and Trish is trying to remember if he ever seemed genuinely happy. Her birthday comes to mind, before all of this spiraled out of his control. It was the last night they were able to relax. Maybe they all needed another night off. Sadly, throwing him a surprise party is no option, since it would just never be a surprise with his senses and he could leave the moment he realizes what is going on. So she needs to get him on board and that would be difficult. But she has an idea how to do that.

"You should throw a little thank you party." He doesn't like that at all. "Look, we could ALL use one evening off. Jessica sure could. One night of irresponsible drinking and mayhem at my place, where it's pretty safe. I'll organize everything with Foggy, you pay. He would like that." She sees that he's going to give in when she mentions Jess and Foggy. He just needs a little push.

"Trish, I'm not in the mood for a party right now." Matt makes a frustrated face.

"Nobody is, but that's the point. This whole thing could take a while. We need some energy to pull through it. We can't save the world if we don't live a little. Just waiting for some attack or some scheme of Fisk to surface is killing us and maybe we could use a little team bonding as well." She almost has him. "Think of it as a promise that you'll be there for them as well when they need anything from you. That's what friends are for."

"You media people and your cheesy talk. You just want to party." His smile is resigned.

"Maybe I do. Sue me."

 

* * *

 

When Matt leaves he finally gathers the courage to see his priest after the church bombing. Father Lantom seems shocked when he recognizes the lawyer in his hoodie in front of the church.

"I didn't want to scare you, sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad to finally see you again. We heard that you were alive, but you never came back to church, son."

"I didn't want to put anyone else in danger. But that didn't help apparently." Matt sighs dramatically and the priest looks concerned.

"You can't blame yourself for that bombing. I heard that you even helped people get out before it happened. Explained to that person that god probably gave the blind man strength in that moment." Father Lantom smiles at his quick thinking to protect the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

"No, but it was my fault entirely. The church became a target, because it was the one I visited, because the guy with the bomb met me there. You could become a target if they see me here again."

The priest didn't know that. He looks at the man before him in contemplation. "You look so very young without those glasses and the suit, Matthew. I worry about you."

"Did you even listen? The church was attacked because of ME."

"I heard. Did you carry the bomb?"

Matthew shakes his head, closes his eyes and sits down on a bench. "It's just… everything is going to hell."

"Matthew, I thought you were dead. You being alive is a miracle to me, it has to mean that you have a purpose. If this feels like hell to you, you need to let some light in."

Matt tries to indulge that thought and thinks of Trish's idea with the ridiculous thank you party.

"What happened anyway, when you were gone? Your friends told me you sacrificed yourself."

"I tried to save someone."

"Did it work?"

Matt shrugs. "I think it did, but people are now constantly expecting me to do it again."

"Do you regret it?"

He hesitates, because he knows that it is a sin to give up on life. "No. I wanted it all to end and needed it to have a meaning. Coming back didn't."

"Do you think you'd do it again?"

"I'm not sure." He sighs. "Things are different now."

"From what I gathered before, things have become worse?"

"A lot of people are helping me now."

"That's good, right?"

"No, they are putting themselves at risk. I didn't ask for it."

"But it feels better. Receiving help from other people who see what you tried to do? Who want to do something to help as well?"

"It does. I still feel guilty about it." They are going to get  hurt.

"Matthew, you need to let go of that. If you're trying to help, you also need to be able to accept help from others. Give them a chance to do good."

"I know you're right. And working with Foggy as Nelson & Murdock was also better than doing it alone. Giving up on it was the hardest thing I had to do... Still, I know someone will suffer."

"Then it's still not your fault." The priest smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

Matt just shakes his head. "It's really difficult to see it that way."

After a moment of silence they pray for his friends and the church. Matt feels a little better. He was avoiding to go there for a long time and now he is glad that he did.

"Don't stay away so long this time. It's not good for you. Disguise yourself, if you think you need to."

"Yes, father." Matt smiles hesitantly.

 

* * *

 

When Trish asks Karen to meet her she sounds excited to get out of her Castle hole. They agree to go for a coffee in a small café and Karen's face lights up when she sees her new friend.

"I'm so glad you called. Frank is trying hard to accommodate me, but he's not the most sociable guy. And we were getting along so well."

"Yeah. I know."

They hug and sit down. Then Karen eyes Trish cautiously.

"So… any progress with Matty?"

Trish laughs and blushes. "For an ex you're incredibly supportive…"

"I just wanna see him happy, because he's been through a lot. And I think he has a better chance with you." Karen sounds like she means it. "If he had let me in, I think I could have loved him."

"Yeah.... he's not good at opening up." Karen snorts. "But after lying about Daredevil's identity he shared some things. After I made him train me he was really angry at me though."

"You got him to train you?!" Karen's eyes widen in surprise. "How is that going?"

Trish smirks and picks the fork up with her mind. "You're kidding! Do I get an exclusive?" Karen winks at her.

"I'm keeping this secret." Her friend can't hide her disappointment when she nods. "And one lesson ended with us kissing."

That makes Karen smile. "Those kisses were quite the preview."

"Ugh…. Tell me about it…." She rolls her eyes. "Such a tease."

"So, I guess, you didn't get further. And Foggy swears there were a lot of girls."

"But he also did not know about his best friends fighting skills and non-women-related night activities."

"True. Matt definitely did it with Elektra though."

"Oh yeah. No doubt. She told me to kiss him for her as well."

Karen is stunned by that. "I hate her, but please tell me more."

Trish smiles. "She told his imposter he could never tempt her to be good and that the real Daredevil was way hotter. Said she was insulted by the cheap copy and what it meant for her reputation. It was pretty cool actually." Of course, in that moment she just feared for her life.

"That would make a nice headline for the tabloids. Well, she saved him after all. And maybe he's worth all the worries in the end." Karen smiles encouragingly.

"Claire also had a fling with him, but she just smiled when I asked her about it." Trish sighs. "And apparently I distract him, so we'll put the kissing on hold till Fisk is done with."

"Let me guess: His idea."

"Ours, actually. It's so good to talk about this to someone who understands… He is driving me crazy."

"I know the feeling." Karen is starting to look uncomfortable. "Well, I hope you'll figure it out." She giggles and smoothly changes the subject. Trish decides that if she ever gets into Daredevil's tight pants, she'll downplay it for Karen, no matter how enthusiastic she appears to be.

Before they say goodbye Trish has a favor to ask.

"A while back we've been digging into the origin of Jessica's power and it might even be related to the substance I was injected with accidentally. And some red and white pills they are using on soldiers." Trish can see that she has Karen's undivided attention. Her reporter instinct is kicking in. "Do you think you could take a look at this? Maybe also ask Castle because of the military angle?"

Karen nods. "It would definitely give me something to do. Thanks!"

Trish gives her a folder with documents and her friend immediately looks at them, asking some more questions. Then she puts them away, probably already thinking about where she should start on this.

"And there is something else… I'm making Matt throw a little thank you party for everyone and he wants to invite you and Frank. Do you think you could get him there?"

She looks sceptical, but nods apparently liking the idea. "I'll try my best! When is it?"

 

* * *

 

Jessica still doesn't find anything on Fisk's whereabouts, but she has several leads now and one of them will bring something to light. Maybe Jonah will tell her something. She will also get messages when the Moranos are up to something. It is just a matter of time. But she doubts that Trish's mother will be involved again. They probably figured out that she is useless.

Trish's idea of the party sounded stupid at first, but since Jessica is considered the devil whisperer, she tried to convince Matt to go along with it. And again, he did listen to her suggestion. Funny. So the following night they have this little gathering at Trish's place.

It's a way for him to thank all those people that continue to help him against Fisk. Jessica knows he's doing it for Trish, but she's not saying anything. Just shares a knowing smile with Foggy and Karen when they arrive. It's surprisingly fun for a group of people that only have Matt in common. Karen and Trish still get along as if they knew each other from college, but since Jessica is very observant she can make out signs of jealousy every time she sees little touches between Matt and Trish. They're still not fucking, she can tell. Maybe that would actually help release some of the tension.

Foggy sees their familiarity as well and he's very excited about it. His girlfriend is not at all what she expected from him. A cold blonde lawyer who doesn't seem very fond of Matt. Jealous of their friendship, maybe. She kind of likes Foggy for picking a woman with that much confidence. Can't be easy trying to please her and he's such a people pleaser. She rolls her eyes.

Then there are Melvin and Betsy. She's never seen them before, but they're nice and fun, fans of Trish apparently. And they look at Matt like estranged relatives, happy that their troubled kid has actual friends. She guesses they know him from Daredeviling. Claire also comes by shortly with Luke, but she has to work, so she only stays for one drink, very happy to see everyone together without needing stitches or worse. Luke stays next to Jessica for the rest of the evening, a calming presence in all the noise.

The immortal iron moron also makes an appearance with his patient girlfriend, but by this time it's so crowded she barely has to talk to them. The biggest surprise, though, is Castle stopping by, keeping a slight distance from the little party, only acknowledging Karen with a soft smile and getting a hug from Matt who whispers something in his ear to which he nods. He's gone a couple minutes later and Matt shares a disappointed look with Karen.

"Are you trying to make the Punisher hang around decent people?"

"I like him, just don't like working with him." Matt shrugs.

"Is it because he saved you?" Jessica had a knowing smile on her lips.

"That, too. But throwing him off by hugging him also amuses me." He laughs.

"You're so trying to save his soul or something." Jessica drinks.

"Got a problem with that?" He raises his eyebrow.

"No. Seeing him get hugged was the funniest thing I saw all day. But he's a mass murderer. You and your lost causes…" She looks down at her drink smiling.

"You know… This is a thank you party. Everyone here helped me." He tries to look at her meaningfully and she just rolls her eyes. At least he doesn't say it anymore. Somehow it always makes her uncomfortable when he expresses his gratitude. Buying her a drink is fine.

For a moment Jessica thinks, getting them all in one place might not be a good idea, even if Fisk hasn't done much lately. Maybe he's just waiting for an opportunity like this. She prefers to stay mum, but alert. It's too late now anyway. They can't live in paranoia all the time. Matt certainly deserves a party like this. All of them do. Playing darts with all their special abilities is silly though. Danny and Colleen are extremely good at it and Matt is also quite impressive, followed by Trish. Yeah, if she didn't believe them before she would now. Her sister was never this good at darts.

When Matt returns from the toilet where he stayed way too long he looks distressed, so Jessica corners him and takes him outside to talk on the balcony about what just happened. He immediately starts punching and kicking shit and slides down the wall with a bloody fist.

"What's going on?"

He turns his head away from her and sighs.

"Fisk called. He says if I stop involving you all that he won't hurt anyone but me. He just wants to see me alone and that we should fight it out like men. Among us."

"Sexist prick. You don't believe him, do you?"

He doesn't answer, so Jessica gets on her knees to turn his head and look into his devastated face.

"Look my way, you blind fool. I don't hear your heartbeat, but I need to see that you understand what I'm saying: This is a good sign. He's getting desperate, because we're too many, so he's trying to scare you away from us."

There is surprised expression on his face. He didn't think of that. "But…"

"There is no fucking but, Matt. He is not gonna go in alone and if you do, he will kill you."

He winces. "You're right."

He's still got that look on his face that says: So be it.

"Let me make one thing clear: We're not gonna let you out of our sight. Let us help, or we will without knowing all the details and that can't be good for any of us."

He nods slowly, closing his eyes and whispers: "Just like Trish…"


	12. Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica convinces Matt to stay with them, but he hates being forced to do so. Trish knows this and she is worried about him. At the same time it's more and more challenging to ignore the sexual tension between them.

Again he is being manipulated out of concern for him. Although for Trish it wasn't just about him, but about her desire to play a hero. And really, he should be flattered that they care so much. Still, it pains him to have caused them all this trouble in the first place. That was the reason he was wearing a mask after all, so his friends weren't endangered because of his actions.

Jessica forces him back to the present. He realizes that she is waiting for a reaction. "I'd even start to personally piss Fisk off, if that distracts him from you. You know I'm very good at that, so don't make me."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Only to save you, dumbass."

It's pointless to ask why she bothers. She probably doesn't even know herself why she wants to save his ass. "I really wish you wouldn't."

"Murdock, I really don't have patience for your lone wolf act right now. I know, you're a capable fighter and there is a ton of shit you can deal with on your own, but not fucking Fisk. Not since he knows who you are." She looks exhausted. "We need to go in there and tell the others. They deserve to know."

"Will you stop treating me like a kid when this is over then?", he snarls.

"Sure, if you stop behaving like one."

Contemplating his options he sighs and tries to come up with more arguments. "Marci and Betsy don't know about Daredevil."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Maybe they don't need to know. We still gotta warn them, tell them Matt Murdock's friends are in danger. If Fisk decided to call now, he probably knows that they are here and who they all are."

Thank god, Father Lantom didn't have time to come. "I can't…"

"I'll do most of the talking." Jessica stands up fast and offers her hand to him. He takes it pulling himself up and they go inside.

Foggy is the first by his side, heartbeat slightly faster, from worry or excitement.

"Where were you? Is everything alright?" Worry it is. His hand doesn't leave his arm for the rest of the evening. He probably fears that Matt might try something stupid if he lets go, like vanish. Matt just wishes the ground would eat him up.

Jessica keeps it short, but serious, careful not to make him sound pathetic or needy, but he has a hunch that she's giving them looks that say: We all know he sucks at taking care of himself. It's depressing. At one point he hears Trish mumble: "I'm sorry…" Then she nudges his drink in his direction with her mind and he offers her a sad smile while taking it. Trish knows better than anyone how angry this kind of thing makes him. He hates not getting to choose here and at the same time, he's aware that he would do the same in their position. It is logical. Even seeing this as a good sign makes sense. It would help Fisk to isolate him and it even would be easy to get to him like this. Every time Matt fought with his friends he ended up in bad shape mentally. Being closer to them has made him stronger not weaker. He has realized that in the past weeks. He knows this, knows that Stick was wrong about it. Right now he just doesn't feel it.

Jessica asks Matt and Foggy if they want to also stay at Trish's place for the night and he agrees, planning to take Daredevil out, while Foggy is safe with Jessica. Marci looks annoyed, but after the threat talk earlier she doesn't give Foggy a hard time over it and she promises to be very careful. Luke offers to accompany her home, Melvin and Betsy go with Danny and Colleen agrees to bring Karen to the spot where Castle will pick her up.

 

* * *

 

Matt was a mess after he and Jessica came back from the balcony. With his sightless eyes he always looked absentminded, but this time he really was. She could tell. She was all the more surprised that he did hear her message and took the glass with a smile, although it was a very forced one. He was definitely concentrating on the area, searching for fishy sounds or smells outside the building. Making sure nobody was about to attack.

Jessica was again her hero in that moment. She showed unbelievable restraint trying hard not to hurt Matt's ego any more than she had to. Trish remembers all her bitching about Daredevil's superiority complex, about thinking he didn't need help or sacrificing himself unnecessarily. It must have urged her to mention it then, but he was in a delicate state and everyone knew what she thought about it anyway.

Matt relaxes visibly when the guests all leave Trish's apartment. They are all tired and emotionally exhausted, so they go to sleep fast, Matt sharing a room with Foggy and the sisters sleeping in another room.

When Trish wakes up in the middle of the night she goes to the kitchen to get a drink and stumbles into Daredevil without his mask. "What the hell…?"

For a second he looks like a little kid busted on his quest for hidden sweets or Christmas presents. Then he prepares himself for another argument. "Em… don't worry. Jessica knows about this. I had to promise to call when I think about doing something stupid." He does the blind guy equivalent of an eye roll.

"You're not going for Fisk or that Fakedevil guy?" Meaning: You're not getting yourself killed?

"Not tonight. Not alone." He smiles tugging some hair behind her ear and she wants to believe him.

She hugs him tight: "Thanks."

"For what?"

"I know this isn't easy for you. For holding back."

"I… I really need to fight tonight. Feel like I have control over something." She can feel him sigh desperately, still a bit on edge.

"Then go and let the devil out." She leans back reluctantly looking at the miserable expression on his face, her arms still around him. "But I need you in one piece for my lesson tomorrow, okay?" She gives him one last squeeze to emphasise her words. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and then a faint one on her lips before he climbs out the window putting the mask on. He looks back one last time to say: "Melvin says your outfit is ready soon."

"Okay." She nods. Does that mean he'll take her along then? That thought is a bit reassuring. It scares her seeing him go after that evening and she hopes he won't be too reckless. It just doesn't feel right at the moment to let him do this alone, even if he keeps his promise.

Trish jumps when she hears Jessica's voice. "We gotta trust him to be careful tonight. Forcing him to stay here was no option. And he wants to be alone."

"I know."

Jessica helps herself to some Whiskey and gives Trish a glass of her own drink while keeping the bottle for herself.

"You've been great earlier. He was about to flee. I could tell." Trish sighs thinking of his tension at the table.

"I'm the fucking devil whisperer." Jessica laughs.

"Careful, I'm sure he can still hear us." Trish smiles.

"Oh, let the creep listen in. He knows by now how determined I am to keep him alive. For my sister's sake."

"Sure, just so I can bang him sometime. Not because you like him or something…"

A stone hits the window then. Yup. Still listening.

"Like him? Oh please, you might find his dorky smile and odd sense of humour charming. Or the way he always thinks of everyone else's well being first and never makes you feel bad for not doing that. You might be impressed by his fighting skills without super strength and without functioning eyes for that matter. Or by the fact that he also became a damn good lawyer, because he tried to not get into fights at first." Jessica pauses.

"I kind of hope he's still listening."

No stone. "Me too."

Jessica continues a bit louder now. "You might like him against better sense for being a total badass, for smiling and joking while bleeding half to death." she chuckles.

After a moment her phone signals a message. She looks at it amused and shows it to Trish. It says: "I'm out of earshot. Love you, too, Jess. In a brotherly way. Trying to stay alive until I get to bang your sister sometime."

Trish blushes. "Oh, I'm doomed. Tell him that I'll have to become a nun then to keep him alive longer."

"Oh, that's good." Jessica is writing the reply. "Sorry, I introduced you two, by the way."

"Don't be. It not being so easy makes it feel special in a way. Right now I can't see me falling for anyone less complicated."

Jessica hums.

"How are you doing? Do you have any open cases at the moment?"

"Yeah, I'm taking all the simple stuff that's usually too boring for me. It's not much, but I get by. Matt pleaded with me that I should charge him for the work I put in. I told him he can't afford that, but he has some savings. I'm thinking about it."

"Well, let him know if you need anything. He'd jump at any opportunity to assist you."

"I will." She smiles and then opens a new message. "Matt admits he didn't think his comment through…" Then her smile grows wider with a surprised expression. "Oh, you bad Catholic school boy! Apparently hitting puberty while being raised by nuns spawned some filthy fantasies…"

Trish's eyes go wide. "I'm not dressing up as a nun!"

Jessica drops the phone.

"But you need to get rid of all that sexual tension and do it already! I'm telling you. It will make it easier to think of other stuff."

"What are you talking about? We barely even talked at the party."

"Don't deny it. You were undressing him with your eyes at least once tonight. And he was probably doing the same this with his nose and ears. It's just more difficult to tell…" She makes a disgusted face.

"First of all if I started undressing him with my mind at this point everyone would notice because he'd just lose clothes without me even touching him."

Jessica's eyes go wide. "Uh, you can…? That's…. hot!"

Yeah, Trish has to push that particular film out of her consciousness and lock it up somewhere deep down. Or she will embarrass herself. And him.

"And second?"

"I did whisper something that he caught across the table in all the drama later. But I figured he was just very intentionally scanning the whole area for a possible attack."

"That sounds like something he would do actually."

Then she thinks of the numbness she was supposed to tell Jessica about. "You mentioned he was getting depressed in the convent…"

Jessica's concern was unmistakable. "Shit, I hoped I was wrong about that one."

Trish just nods. "I sensed a little bit earlier when he kissed me, but… the last couple of days were bad. I figured with all the drama he should feel something. What should I do?"

Jessica is contemplating this. "For once I'm gonna be the optimistic one here and say: It'll get better. Maybe this was a wake up call. He just has to realise that we're on the right track here. That the wait will be over soon."

That night Trish has another dream about fighting criminals, going through the motions like she's doing it every day. The pain in her fists from punching is sharper than the images her mind creates. It is all very strange. When she wakes up she immediately checks that Matt is asleep in Foggy's room. Still alive, no bruises visible and she didn't find blood near the window. Relieved she goes to have breakfast with Jessica, finally able to share some of her surprising optimism. If he didn't leave after this night he probably won't the next day either.

 

* * *

 

After being talked to like a stupid adolescent for the entire evening because of Fisk's new threat he was itching to take Daredevil out, crush some bones and take some punches. Thankfully, Jessica understood, Foggy not so much. But he didn't want to argue with his best friend and neither did he.

"I don't get this need to prove to yourself that you're a tough guy, but do whatever you think you have to do."

He decided not to say anything and just accepted the hug. After that they talked until Foggy fell asleep. Matt took a short nap to restore his energy, but eventually Hell's Kitchen called.

Of course, Trish would catch him. But it was nice of her to acknowledge his struggle with a shitty situation. He also understood her concern for him being too reckless that night and he tried to convince her that she didn't need to worry. He was also not gonna forget her lesson. It was one of the few things he was looking forward to these days amidst all the Fisk crap. His comment about Melvin's costume was more of an afterthought. Maybe she was almost ready to go with him and if she wanted to, he wouldn't berate her anymore. He didn't want to sound like a hypocrite. Trish was confident, but not overconfident he realised over the last couple of days. She seems a lot more careful and has a better understanding of what she is able to go up against.

And then Jessica was very sweetly practically admitting that she liked him which was huge even if it only happened when he was blocks away. That and his criminal encounters that night made him feel better about listening to her and not running away to deal with Fisk on his own. Patience. They were in control.

He wakes up the next day determined to get some stuff done. Trish's lesson comes first. He has to make sure she's ready, so he picks up some dart arrows she could try to float through the air.

She's really quite good at this, he already noticed the night before. But her aim is better when she throws them and corrects their path later. It's not that good when she has to make them fly first. She's also very focused and unusually quiet. After those messages with Jessica last night he expected more flirting. But they had agreed to not get carried away and he still thought that was the sensible thing to do.

"Okay, let's try something. Pretend I'm attacking you from the other side of the room and try to fight me off."

She looks conflicted now.

"Don't worry I won't harm you and those darts don't hurt much." Now it's starting to get really interesting. "Ready?"

She nods nervously and takes position.

"1… 2… 3… Go!"

He gives her a second to start and kicks and punches every dart away easily, coming closer every time. When she's out of stuff to throw he launches an attack on her that she blocks and he smiles as she starts attacking with those darts from his back. With less aim they're easier to stop for him, but not for everyone which is what he was hoping for. He takes her down without effort and gives her more guidance on her defenses. On the second try her fist finally connects and she gets cocky, going down fast again. He laughs.

"Not bad! Not bad at all…" She raises her eyebrows playfully then. There is the Trish from earlier lessons coming through. She's enjoying this exercise, it seems.

On the third try, right at the word "Go!" she tears his shirt and he can't help laughing out loud.

 

* * *

 

This can't be happening. Trish covers her face with her hands in shame. She is absolutely mortified and he is laughing at her. "Oh god…"

"Trish, it's fine… don't worry about this." He giggles and takes the rest of his torn shirt off. No, what? That's not better! When he comes closer there is a good amount of amusement in his voice. "To be honest, you threw me off my game for a moment there. That was actually not a bad strategy. Although I'd beg you not to use it on criminals."

He tries to touch her shoulder to calm her down and she quickly moves away. "This is so embarrassing..."

She can feel his presence next to her. "You want to stop the lesson here? Because I thought you made a lot of progress today."

There is some disappointment in his voice and the fact that she even feels it is such a big relief that she dares to move her hands from her closed eyes sighing dramatically. She opens them to his bare chest and her heartbeat betrays her again. But she can't take her eyes off him anymore, a smug smile playing on his lips. "Fuck you." It's criminal how good he looks with his shirt off and hair standing up like she just ran her fingers through it - which she didn't, regrettably.

"I won't mention this to anyone I promise… Just don't tear my Daredevil suit when we're out there. I've started to rely on it a little bit."

Trish whines. But he said, when they were out there and that gives her something to look forward to. Also, his mood is really much better today. Maybe she can stop worrying about depression for now.

"Hey…" He touches her shoulder. "Let's just try again. Pretend this never happened." He tries for an innocent smile and almost succeeds.

Trish nods. Yeah, she's gonna try to kill him now. Bury the witness. Fucking irresistible jerk. She takes her stance again and he slowly walks back, appearing very serious suddenly.

"Ready."

"Okay… 1… 2… 3… Go!"

This time she throws faster and more forceful, but less precise. She kicks him in the stomach once and he has to up his game a little. Her biggest problem is fighting and moving the darts simultaneously, but she almost got him a couple of times, she thinks. Then he pins her to the ground again and says: "Stop." She notices him breathing hard and it can't be from the exercise, because that has never made him sweat before.

"Trish, bringing the darts back is good, but think about where they are heading. They could have hit you if I had dodged. You have to be sure of your aim and that is still better from the front."

"What do you…?" He reaches behind his head and picks one dart from behind his ear. Her eyes go wide and she nudges his head to look at the small wound.

"I made you bleed." She's horrified, but also a bit proud which amuses him.

"Yeah, like I said: Could have moved out of the way and they would have hit you. This one, in the face." She notices the plural.

"Oh, shut up." Her hands search his bare back until they find a second one and she pulls it out making him hiss in pain. "Sorry." One of her hands is still on his back, not daring to move.

"It's fine…" He smiles. And this time it reaches his eyes.

That bloody masochist probably feels that this position and the sound he just made turns her on again. "You know, Jessica suggested that actual intercourse with you could help me fantasise less about it. Make me focus."

"Is that so…?" His eyebrows are raised at this. There is lots of affection coming her way and something else...

"Maybe-" She catches her breath as he lowers his body slightly, so she can feel how intrigued he is by that idea.

"And what if you enjoy it so much that you want more?"

She snorts incredulously at his smug face. "I can promise you if you DARE to pull away now, you can go to hell for all I care."

His mouth is on hers the moment she finishes that sentence and Matt Murdock fucks her like his life depends on it.


	13. Second Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So things escalated in the training room. Now Trish doesn't want to boost Matt's ego even more and he doesn't know what to do with all those feelings he can't ignore anymore. Jessica starts to think she should have warned the devil about her sister instead and there is another problem creeping up.

When Jessica sees them come out of the training room and notices Trish smiling like a loon she just mumbles: "Finally."

Matt seems to be in a brooding mood though, with some blood on his shirtless back. She probably doesn't want to know, but she gives Trish a quizzical look anyway.

He gathers some of his stuff and informs them that he's going to occupy the shower.

Trish grabs a piece of paper and a pen, because she doesn't want to be overheard. She writes: "He was entirely too smug for being a SENSational lover, so I just told him it was good. Apparently that's the worst review he's ever gotten."

Jessica mouths skeptically: "That good?" And Trish makes a fanning gesture while nodding excitedly. She writes: "Want him even more from now on." Then she points at her sentence and stares at Jessica accusingly.

"Sorry, but you're welcome. And be careful. That drama queen might just die if you break his heart."

When Matt is back from the shower, a towel draped around his hips, Trish throws away her piece of paper and tells him to sit down so she can take care of his little wounds. Jessica glances at them seeing the devil close his eyes while her sister enjoys slowly patching him up. She tries to be very gentle, uses more skin contact than strictly necessary and he sighs. She does not soothe his bruised ego though. Who'd have guessed the Devil of Hell's Kitchen is as proud of his abilities in the bedroom as he is of his fighting skills. Jessica thinks it is hilarious. But he certainly looks much more alive than the day before and that can only be good. You can't wallow while sulking.

 

* * *

 

They were both stretched out on the ground of Trish's training room breathing heavily and starting to laugh. "That was pretty good."

Matt huffed. "Pretty good? That was amazing." He pulled her close again and their lips connected automatically. Trish then turned her head away, so he started kissing her throat. Her heartbeat even picked up until they heard someone else enter the apartment. Suddenly she got up to look for her clothes, blushing as if her parents were about to find her with a naked man in her room.

He leaned on his elbows and observed her with his senses. A suggestive smirk formed on his lips as he concluded: "I don't think you got this out of your system."

She stopped halfway dressed already. "You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" When she continued her annoyance was clearly audible through the fabric of her top. "All my heartbeat tells you is that I enjoy sex."

When she kneeled down next to him he sat up smiling and raised one eyebrow. "But you'll want more." He was pretty sure of that.

He could make out her answering smile then and she grabbed him for a long kiss. One hand was in his hair again scratching his scalp, the other feeling his muscles and travelling lower. He was panting already when she pushed him down again to pin his arms next to his head and whisper in his ear: "I think you're the one who wants more."

She chuckled at his surprise, stood up and threw his clothes at him to cover his body. Matt started getting dressed, too. He wasn't sure what to do then. This has never happened to him. Usually the women he liked were eager to make sure that they'll see him again after sleeping with him. Of course, he'll see Trish again anyway, because he's training her and that she would never miss. She's also still a major distraction, probably even more so now. If she really isn't that interested in sex anymore that might be better and safer then. But that crazy woman just stripped him with her mind and wasn't able to really concentrate on her lesson... She was going to irritate him whether she fights by his side or tries to seduce him.

"Wow, you honestly didn't expect that." She is clearly amused by his confusion. Great. "I promise I won't tear your clothes again. Unless you want me to." True.

He didn't realise that she never really denied his claim about her wanting more.

Yes, he had not considered that this could actually make her want him less. Sounds like it did, which is fine. He can control his desires of course. The mind controls the body and all. But his feelings are another matter altogether. And Jessica is now warning Trish not to break his heart. Her main goal has always been training with him anyway, she just felt attracted to him, clearly, but he was under the impression that there was more between them than there ever was. He should have seen this coming. Trish's concern for his safety and health didn't mean that she cares for him more than for anyone else. She is just a good person. It's not like it was with Elektra who practically did not care for anyone else. He can't help feeling used again suddenly, just like he did after he gave in and started training her. He tries not to show it though, because it's not her fault if she doesn't enjoy being with him as much as he enjoys being with her.

At least this emotional roller coaster takes his mind of the Fisk call which felt like this black hole he can't escape that could suck in everyone he cares about. The last couple of days there has been zero progress. There was nothing to do, too many people to protect, too little information to go on and nothing was happening. Hearing Fisk's voice was shocking at first, but as soon as it was over, a calming certainty washed over him that it would be over soon. It was just the prospect of leaving everyone that disturbed him and Jessica sure caught on that. If she had not confronted him in that moment he would have left the party and vanished without telling anyone. By now he's ashamed of that instinct. It would indeed have been stupid. So, now he can focus on preparing for Fisk's next move and one thing he could do right now was train Trish. If she was able to go with him without him worrying about her all the time, Jessica could watch Foggy and he could finally blow off some steam again at night. He could focus on searching for Fakedevil or Fisk and keep his city safe. But how was he supposed to behave with her now?

 

* * *

 

Trish doesn't want to make a big deal out of Matt's confusing behaviour. His confidence did really annoy her, especially after laughing at her before. Then it was payback time and he looked rather cute when she pretended like she wasn't as affected anymore by her attraction to him. His stunned expression was really priceless, but it also was a bit easier to resist him that way. She knows she won't be able to do that for long and he must have noticed that already. It's not like she misses any chance to feel his skin again.

Yet somehow the feelings she gets from him are different and not easy to interpret. At least he isn't that numb anymore. Fisk is probably on his mind constantly, so maybe that is all this is about. Still, the sadness she picks up whenever she touches him worries her. But she doesn't stop since he keeps leaning into it. She's not sure if she should initiate more, so she waits for more signs. Maybe this is still about getting distracted again. Or he regrets it already and doesn't know how to tell her. Hopefully not. Because now that she got a taste of what it would be like to be with him, she doesn't think she would handle a rejection very well.

In the evening they sit on her couch together watching or listening to the TV and he finally seems more relaxed, so she decides to move closer resting her head on his shoulder. His breath holds for a moment, but he doesn't react.

"I've interviewed that guy. He seemed sincere." Talking has always been easy with him.

"Yeah, I stopped by him making a speech once. You know, everyone lies, but politicians are usually worse and still better at sounding confident about it all. I think most of them start to believe their own bullshit."

She studies Matt's face. Is he really that cynical? "So, you don't trust him?"

"Surprisingly I do. What makes him less convincing for others actually makes me like him. I can tell when he's trying to sell the crowd a lie, but it's never a big one. His intentions are good and he only has to sell a simpler version of the truth. But he doesn't want to make it sound easy, which makes him a bad liar and in turn a bad speaker. He knows getting rid of corruption will be difficult and that he might have to make a compromise for the greater good." Right then there is polite applause from the audience, but no cheers.

"That makes sense." Trish doesn't think there is an alternative anyway. The other candidate in the upcoming election is among the loudest voices calling for Daredevil's arrest after the Shaw "murder".

"I could be wrong, of course. But I have a good feeling about him. And if you felt his sincerity that helps." He smiles at her and then he looks back at the screen again sighing as she snuggles closer.

"Sorry, are you hurt somewhere? You have to tell me if I'm leaning on some wound..."

His answer is unconvincing: "No, no. I'm… I'm fine. Please stay here." He kisses her temple lovingly and shudders as her hand slips under his shirt for a moment, until they are not alone anymore.

 

* * *

 

Jessica comes in to the entangled pair watching Anand Chopra who is again holding one of his less inspiring speeches. "I think that is the guy who talked to Christine Shaw before she went on the radio."

Matt scrunches up his face in disbelief. "Are you sure? We just agreed that he seems genuine."

Jessica hates crushing his hopes, but… "He's far behind in polls and desperate people make desperate choices, I guess." She tries to soften the blow though. "Maybe he was being played just like Shaw."

Trish then adds: "If he's trying to fight corruption in politics, he might not like the idea of vigilantes taking matters into their own hands." Trish puts her hand over Matt's heart. "But the way he talked about justice off the record did remind me of someone." She smiles at him and the shimmer of hope is back.

"Just don't trust him blindly." Jessica smirks. She did investigate the guy and nothing too fishy came up, but better safe than sorry. Maybe he just was very clever.

"By the way, we're getting my costume tomorrow." Trish smiles triumphantly and Jessica shares an annoyed look with Matt.

"I just knew she'd get one after she met you."

"It's not a costume, it's armor." Matt remarks. She knows this is about him keeping Trish safe, of course. Maybe it really was for the best.

"Well, have fun looking like an idiot." She laughs and Trish mind-throws a mug at her which Jessica catches with a grunt. "You're welcome for saving your dishes."

She leaves after that because she has to do some more digging and she starts with that politician who sure as hell acts like he is hiding something. Innocent people don't do that. Then she realizes she isn't the only one creeping around his house. There is someone hiding in the bushes. As she tries to investigate she soon feels metal on her neck and a familiar voice whispers in her ear: "I would look somewhere else for answers if I were you."

Jessica doesn't appreciate being threatened like that and throws her elbow into her attacker's stomach as hard as she can to free herself. The woman quickly recovers. "Leave. I'm not here to hurt you, but I will." She sees Elektra vanish into the shadows and she doesn't want to bring her fists to a ninja sword fight, so she is carefully treading forward. There is a small piece of paper where the woman stood. Picking it up she finds a phone number on it. A new lead, maybe? Time to jump back to Trish's apartment then and figure out what to make of this. Her sister is already fast asleep on Matt's shoulder. She glares at him.

"Is this the part where you give me the talk?" His voice is low so Trish doesn't wake up, but he smiles. "I hear you warned her about me... rightfully so." He swallows and Jessica sighs.

"I trust you with her. You'll keep her safe out there." It is as much a statement as it is a command.

"I will", he vows.

"But you need to take care of yourself as well." He looks confused for a moment and Trish starts to stir. 

Jessica doesn't know Matt for that long, but she has a feeling that emotionally Trish might be tougher than him. If this thing between them doesn't work, her sister will be able to walk away from it. And how would Matt react to someone leaving who actually got to know the real him? She has a feeling his way of dealing with heartbreak can't be very healthy.

 

* * *

 

Trish wakes from a weird dream of jumping across roofs and kind of jolts with a short shock as she finds herself being held by a man. Matt immediately lets her go mumbling a completely unnecessary apology and getting up.

"I need to get to Foggy. Will be right back." With that he goes to change. Trish stretches her muscles while Jessica starts up her computer.

"Any luck today?"

"I have a number I need to check." She scrunches up her face. "Not sure if we should follow that."

Matt later comes in in his Daredevil gear and he's about to say goodbye to them when Jessica tells him to wait.

"I encountered your ex today at Chopra's place." Trish is hugging him just as those words fill the room and he tenses up probably shooting a very intense look in Jessica's direction. "I've found this number near her. Do you think she left it on purpose? To trap us?"

She can almost feel him think and it fills her or him with dread. She can hardly tell anymore. But he is closed of fast, wearing an expression that suspiciously looks like she caught him doing something wrong. Shit, that isn't comforting.

"Could be a trap." He just shakes his head. "Be careful. Don't trust her."

"I'm no idiot, Murdock. She held a weapon against my throat. I'm asking you if it's her style to trick us like that."

He considers this more seriously, looking grim. "It's not her style, but I still would not be surprised. She's very manipulative."

Trish stores that information in her brain. "But she also saved you and me… maybe we're on the same side…?" She studies his reaction to that idea.

"Elektra is only on her own side." He seems angry. At her, for prying? Well, if that woman died for him and then they almost died together again she needs to know if she has to worry about her. She decides to let it go for now and probably obsess over it later.

"Well, then, I think I'll leave that number alone for now and go to sleep. Get your ass over to Foggy." Jessica yawns and goes to the bathroom.

Trish tries to smile and kiss Matt's obvious irritation away. Thankfully it seems to work.

When they part he sighs miserably. "You're curious about Elektra." It is not a question.

"Can you blame me? There is no need to talk about it." Did he just feel hurt when she brushed this off trying to be cool? Damn, that man is confusing.

"All you need to know is: She's trouble and she keeps ruining things for me…" Puppy dog face alert. He must know what that look does to women. There is no way he is not using it right now on purpose. She tries not to act too impressed. Karen told her what he was like when Elektra was back in town.

"Then don't let her." There is a small warning in there and she kisses his cheek reassuringly to soften it. "Go, protect your friend."

She opens the door to the balcony and Matt puts his mask on before stepping out. "I'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon to get your armor."

Before going to sleep Trish takes a picture of the mysterious number. Her imagination that night tortures her with impressions of Matt and Elektra together. How the fuck do you compete with a woman who died for someone?! Even if she was bad. That's not something Trish could see herself do... ever. Sure, she'd fight at his side, push him out of the way of a bullet, but she would not catch it instead of him. He would probably do that for people he didn't even like, but that's beside the point. On the other hand, maybe he'd prefer her to act like that, to indulge in at least that much self preservation.

 

* * *

 

Foggy has been home for an hour alone and already started watching a film, before Matt arrives in his Daredevil suit.

"Sorry, I didn't come sooner."

"No problem, buddy. I still have police protection. Didn't expect you to come in through the window, though, already being… you know."

Matt shrugs his shoulders. "I figured after the latest phone scare, I should be prepared for anything. Any time."

Foggy looks concerned about that. He already knows what's coming next. "I hope you plan to get some sleep as well."

"I'll be fine, Foggy." He smiles. "I took a little nap on Trish's couch earlier, while I was serving as her pillow."

Foggy looks so pleased about that, his whole face lights up. "Oh, you're snuggling now, huh?" There are gonna be questions.

"Don't get too excited, it's not such a big deal." A deep blush covers his entire face. Why did he even mention her?

"Oh, I think it is."

After they sit down and Foggy explains the plot of the film he has been watching, they agree to watch / listen to the rest together. But Matt has trouble concentrating on Foggy's narration. He's still too focused on Elektra's second reappearance. Somehow he's certain he hasn't seen the last of her. And now Jessica and Trish have seen her. He's not sure what that woman is up to.

Foggy seems too preoccupied to notice, but when the film is finished he turns to the moody man next to him and Matt feels another heart to heart coming up that he is not ready for.

"Sooo, what's up? And don't say you're fine. You never are."

"Not true. You've seen me be fine more than anyone else. And for your information things are going great with Trish as well. Happy?"

"You being so defensive and bitchy is not making your argument very convincing." Foggy has a point. Any lawyer or judge would know he was lying. "I don't buy it. But if it's just girl trouble I'll leave you alone. I'm just worried you're prepared to go on a suicide mission again…"

Well, if that's his main concern… "I'm not." He sighs. Okay, some honesty might make him back of. "I'm just worried about Elektra. Jessica ran into her today."

Foggy's eyes widen at the name. "Dude! Don't let HER mess with you again."

Matt swallows. "I know. It's just…. I haven't seen her since…"

"Oh shit. Matt, just don't let her ruin what you have with Trish now as well. You remember how that turned out last time."

Matt nods and then he very calmly stands up to go out. "I remember that I got through to her. You always forget that it's not just her having an influence on me. I also was able to change her. So, it's not that simple. Maybe she can help."

Foggy knows he'll never understand that relationship. "Well, please tell me if you see her, okay? So we can talk about this. And just be honest with Trish as well. Or this will blow up in your face again." With that Foggy hugs his friend and watches him leave the room through the window. Matt knows Elektra is his biggest weakness. He has no illusions about that, but it turns out she is not the only one. That doesn't have to be a bad thing, but he's not sure it's good either.

They're on their way to Melvin the next day when Trish gets a text from Jessica asking her to send a picture in costume.

"Second thoughts?" He smiles when he senses her concern. Is this seriously about her fear of looking stupid? "It's supposed to be functional, you know?"

Trish snorts. "I hear her making fun of your horns all the time. Don't tell me they're functional."

He has to laugh at that. "I thought you liked the horns." He's not really insulted.

"I do…. But don't tell her." Matt smiles.

"Don't worry. You'll look fantastic in anything." She blushes at his compliment. Trish certainly knows she's attractive, but somehow she still appreciates him reminding her, while it seems to annoy her when others do it, most of the time. It might be strange, since it's coming from a blind guy and technically he can't see her. But somehow she knows he's not just saying it to flatter her and that it's actually about more than just her looks.

"I wanna look scary, like someone you don't want to mess with." Then they're hoping for the same thing after all.

What Melvin has created makes her feel strong he thinks. She seems very pleased. But the costume is also way hotter than he anticipated. Matt tries not to be too obvious about it, but it's hard to ignore the way her new armor emphasises her figure. Trish definitely takes notice of that as well and she makes Melvin take her picture to send it to Jessica.

For his benefit, Melvin also describes it. "It is black with some yellow elements in there, but no eye-catchers. Her red wig is connected to the helmet with cat ears on top and she has claws that will come out if she makes a scratching move." Trish tries it and she's very excited about that one. "I also figured you could use small arrows, so I put some in your belt. You can use this stuff on them to make your enemies sleepy." He indicates a small bottle to her that is also hidden in the belt.

"Good call." Matt nods remembering their dart session. But then he also thinks about how that ended and that makes him blush furiously. Trish is too focused on testing her new gadgets though to notice and she impresses Melvin with throwing a knife precisely at a mark on the other end of the room. He's doomed.

"So, does this mean I get to come with you tonight?"

Matt swallows. "I guess, it does."


	14. Hellcat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daredevil and Hellcat work together for the first time and she proves to be just as unpredictable as feared.

When they go out at night together for the first time they are both beyond nervous. The last times Matt worked with someone else have turned out less than ideal. First Elektra died, then he stayed back to let the others get out of a building safe. It has to be understandable that team work is still not his prefered method of doing this after his experiences. It is one thing to put his own life on the line for something he believes has to be done. It's quite another to take someone with him. Someone he would want to protect at all costs.

With Elektra he knew she was as dangerous as him, probably more so, because she didn't value the life of others much. With Jessica it was kind of fun actually, especially when she was teasing him and with her abilities she was not very vulnerable. Luke was also not a guy he had to worry about. And it was no coincidence that he asked Danny to protect his city, because the man did have a similar fighting style and he could actually be mistaken for him in the costume. Still, he never considered taking any of them along.

Of course, he never wanted to take Trish along either. He just agreed to it because he just knew she'd be doing some shit like this alone or try to follow him. And now he has made his peace with it. Also, her fighting skills were nowhere near Danny's, but her progress was astonishing. She was no natural before her abduction and that fateful injection, but her determination has been there from the beginning. After she came in contact with that substance and she started training her new abilities it was as if suddenly there was talent. She remembered the moves he showed her easily and it seemed like she picked them up in her sleep. It would still take years to reach his level, but once she gains some experience by his side he wouldn't need to worry as much. She would notice this soon enough when she fights someone other than him. Still, it is good to know that her heart is beating like she's not scared exactly, but certainly aware that any small mistake could have dire consequences.

It takes a while until they finally stumble across some crime and it's not a small felony, but a group of robbers, planning a bank heist. He tells Trish to stay in the back. Since she wants him to take her along again she accepts the conditions and promises to make herself useful from a distance.

"Look, I want to show that you can trust me and I won't get in your way or distract you in any way." Her heartbeat is steady, so he hopes she won't do anything rash if she feels he's struggling.

"Okay, I'm going in there. If you see someone run out, just dart them with your arrows. There are six of them. When there are three left and you don't hear any more guns, you can follow me."

She nods. "But are you sure, you can deal with six robbers with guns? We could sneak up on them together. I promise I'll stay behind some cover and take them out without them seeing me."

"Please, Trish! Your reflexes are not good enough for that kind of fight, yet." She has to understand, otherwise he'll just send her home. But he can tell that she picks up on his annoyance and won't argue any more.

"Fine."

She huffs and he nods. "Tell me before you plan to go in. Just to be sure."

Then there's a nervous skip in her heartbeat and she grabs his arm. "But there has to be a driver around here."

Matt smiles. He actually missed that. "You're right. Come on." Not doing this alone does have advantages.

 

* * *

 

He has to take care of the driver first. It's easy to find the man waiting close by with a fast heartbeat. He pulls him out of the car quickly so he can't warn anyone. But he's not that easy to knock out, because he reacts rather fast and almost gets back to the car. Trish closes and locks the door just in time from far away and Matt thanks her when he's done and the man is unconscious.

Then she takes cover where she can see the backdoor of the bank clearly and she observes Matt trying to open it. Apparently it locked after falling closed behind the last robber. Before he starts climbing the building, Trish suggests she could try to open the door. Otherwise he would have to smash a window and draw attention to himself.

He hesitates, but thankfully motions for her to come over. She sees him tilt his head and he explains the mechanism to her. He indicates where the doorknob is on the other side and she tries to move it, concentrating. She sees him nod and smile when finally she gets a mental grasp on it. But it's heavy and holding the knob turned while pulling is still difficult for her. More difficult than the lock apparently. It only moves when he tries prying the door open on the side as well. Trish smiles proudly when her work is done. He sends her back to her hiding spot after a short kiss to her cheek.

Trish smiles and takes cover obediently. There's no way he can deny that she helped him after that. If she doesn't fuck up now, there is a good chance, he'll take her along again.

Soon she hears the first gun shot and sees two guys leave the building. Her arrows hit both of them and one stumbles immediately hitting his head on the ground in his hurry. He stays there while the other manages to reach the locked car and falls asleep there. She can't hear any more guns and when nobody else leaves the building she starts to worry. If something happens to him while she is waiting for one more guy to leave the building she won't be able to forgive herself. He could be dying in there.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go in. I don't hear any shots."

She hesitantly walks to the backdoor. Suddenly the guy next to the door grabs her foot. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She sees a gun in his other hand and kicks it away fast hoping that Matt didn't notice that blunder. With another kick to his head the man falls unconscious again. The next thing she has to worry about is the stupid door. She has to claw and pull it open alone while turning the doorknob and she almost succeeds, but loses her grip again and soon she hears noises from inside again. She jumps behind the door just when it's thrown open and a third robber leaves. She doesn't hit him in time and has to let him flee to help Matt instead. So she catches the door in time and rushes inside. "I'm coming."

She soon figures out where the fight is taking place and tells Matt which of the robbers she plans to take on. He does not interfere and engages the other two distracting her target. Her last arrow passes his face though and he looks her way angrily. "There is another one!" He runs her way and she prepares herself to beat up her first criminal. It is surprisingly easy to take the man down. Her claw leave nasty scratches and his shock gives her time for a solid punch. Soon he scrambles for the backdoor. When she looks back at Matt she sees him taking down his last two more stubborn opponents and decides to just watch and learn, since he is obviously in his element. Maybe he is doing it for her benefit, but that fight is a thing of beauty. Not because the robbers are a challenge for him, it looks more like he is playing with them, dancing between them and almost inviting the idiots to attack, just so he could kick or punch them in a different way every damn time. Some of his hits look lazy, maybe because he is getting tired. That's when he just knocks them out finally, as if he is bored with the exercise. He then looks at her smiling wickedly with blood dripping from his fists.

"We should go. The cops are coming."

She follows him out and up on the next roof remembering to get her arrows back in the last second.

 

* * *

 

Being able to open and shut doors from afar turns out to be quite useful and Trish also proves herself when it comes to fighting with her claws. Her arrow throwing aim is less accurate with moving targets, but she doesn't mess up either.

He waits with her on the roof this time so they can observe the scene when the police arrives. There will be two robbers in custody that he would not have been able to take out on his own. He acknowledges that fact.

"You know, this was the first time I got to see you fight for real, knowing who you are." She smiles.

"So, you enjoyed the show?" Oh, he knows she did.

"A lot, actually." He can imagine a feral smile under her mask that reminds him of Elektra.

Suddenly she decides to push him against the wall, into a dark corner and he lets her. He's curious. "What are you doing?"

"You know, I once had this dream about Daredevil… Before we met properly. After you once helped Jess and me against some ninja." He feels her breath next to his ear and she bites him there making him shudder. This is not a good idea, not that he isn't enjoying it, but still...

"Trish…" She silences him with a hungry kiss and after a few moments he stops trying to resist.

"You can call me Hellcat now." She smiles and bites her lip, unsure, before he kisses her back. Matt has a feeling that she plans to go beyond this though and after the night they had, he might not be able to hold back. Everyone in this area is asleep anyway, apart from the policemen at the bank and they are busy. Trish doesn't care about watching them collect those criminals. Instead she finds his zip and starts to make him moan in pleasure. "We should leave…." Still, nobody knows where they are. Fisk's people would probably be more likely to attack them in Trish's apartment again.

"Please… I always wanted to do this to you. Just relax." Her hand moves further into his suit and he is not able to stop it. Why would he want to stop her anyway? After telling him to stay still she watches him as his lips part and his breath becomes ragged.

He knew she had a thing for Daredevil, he just never thought this would be a fantasy she could enjoy, one where he was passive and she was the one making him come, doing all the work. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he didn't impress her that much when they finally had sex. While she lowers herself to go down on him, his hand finds her fake hair smearing the blood of those criminals he beat up into it and it feels wrong. He has to remind himself who this Hellcat person is.

It takes a lot of effort for him to stay silent while Trish expertly and enthusiastically makes the Devil of Hell's Kitchen utterly defenseless. When she comes up again, she supports his weight and kisses him again. He can taste himself on her realizing that he lost all reason for that moment. But she did, too. Leaning back against the wall he is trying to catch his breath while she caresses his jaw with her lips.

"You want me to…?" He really shouldn't. What they are doing is extremely risky and he should be controlling his desires. It's as if he feels intoxicated by her and she is enjoying his awkwardness way too much for his taste.

But she just pecks his cheek sweetly: "No, I just felt like making you happy." He doesn't know what to say to that.

* * *

 

 

It is absolutely exhilarating to have a strong guy like Daredevil - and she just saw the man in action - at her mercy, to watch him react to her touch the way she reacted to his. Still, something is wrong, she can tell, since he isn't very good at hiding it from her anymore. Her abilities aren't even needed to see that, but what bothers him exactly stays a mystery. It's probably something silly. She can tell the risk turns him on, maybe he feels bad about that, about being reckless when someone else is with him. Maybe he likes Elektra because she is trouble, not in spite of that. She has to find out if she plans to keep him and she feels that he might be worth the effort of dealing with his issues, of which there seem to be plenty. But she already feels him slipping away somehow. What could it be this time? Does he still feel manipulated? Or guilty? Is he still pining for his ex maybe and doesn't want to admit it, because she was bad news? Is he already getting tired of her?

She watches him move across rooftops elegantly, trying to find a route that she is able to follow. They stop a mugging together before arriving at her apartment again. He offers to help or carry her up, but that is too high for her and she prefers the elevator this time. Nobody catches a glimpse of her going up. She opens the balcony door for him after changing into normal clothes and he looks relieved.

Jessica is staying with Foggy this night and she has the apartment to herself and her… bodyguard? Boyfriend? Vigilante-Date? Well, whatever they are, it's nice. It's nice going home with him. She is not going to ruin it by addressing it. Men hate labels and she already knows his secret identity. Someone that paranoid and secretive has to have commitment issues. Not that she is thinking about tying fucking Daredevil down. That would be ridiculous, right? Well, he needs someone who understands his nighttime activities. Maybe not some crazy woman who is just in the middle of discovering her own strange abilities. And she has plenty of issues of her own. Damn, where did this train of thought go anyway? She didn't even notice that he's been talking to her. "What?"

He smiles. "You look tired. I said I'll just take a shower and sleep on the couch."

What? "Matt, we can share the bed. I promise I'll let you sleep." She rolls her eyes at him. "It's not like you're that irresistible." Oh, he is. She laughs.

"Right." He looks away pretending not to be insulted. Seriously, the ego of that man...! If he wasn't so damn pretty, kind, smart, tough, cute and funny… Oh, who is she kidding? It is silly to deny just how irresistible he is. Which is why it's so much fun doing just that and annoying him like this.

"You can sleep wherever you like, but you're welcome to join me anytime." She smiles and winks at him which is probably completely lost on the blind man. Why does she keep forgetting that? He just raises his eyebrows wearing this am-I-the-only-adult-in-the-room-look.

"No, really, I'm here to ensure your safety. I would not forgive myself if I slept through an attack and you got hurt." Meaning: He's probably reinstating the good old no-fucking-rule. And with that he enters the bathroom. Trish thought they were past this. Her building is pretty safe. Safer than a fucking rooftop at least. She probably took it too far there and it went so well with the robbery before. Now he thinks she's an adrenaline junkie or something. Is she? She is new to all this and it is kind of exciting. But she also knows it's dangerous and that she is lucky all she took from it are a couple of bruises.

She waits for him to leave the bathroom to her and as soon as he opens the door she tells him that she is sorry.

"Look about what happened earlier, I was irresponsible. It won't happen again, okay?"

He nods. "Don't worry about it. We both got… carried away." He blushes.

"So, we're fine?"

"We are." He closes the distance and kisses her goodnight to reassure her. He then makes himself comfortable on the couch where he is sleeping when she returns from her shower. She watches him for a few seconds, still sure that something is wrong. Then she leaves him alone to get some sleep herself. Dating - and she decides that is what they are doing for now - a vigilante is a nightmare and less sexy than she imagined it. Go figure. But she has also never felt more alive.


	15. You Look Like An Idiot, Mobster Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Moranos. Also: Trope alert! But who can blame Trish for thinking that kissing Matt is a brilliant cover when discovered half dressed at a party thrown by a notorious killer clan.  
> Um... just go with it. :) First half done. Yay!

Well, now, Trish would be a huge help. Matt is locked in a basement and she would be able to open the door silently. The man he knocked unconscious, because he saw him, will be missed in a couple of minutes and then they would start to look for him. A lot of the Moranos are wearing weapons even at a party like this and they would try to catch him, but before he could flee they'd shoot him. That much is clear from the conversation Jessica is having outside.

"Daredevil killed Lenny Morano's cousin. There is no way, they will leave him alone now. Anyone who sees him is supposed to shoot him in the head immediately."

So, that is probably why they didn't stumble across Fakedevil in a while. He might know that he already achieved one of Fisk's goals: the Moranos going after Daredevil. Matt on the other hand hasn't gotten around that much, since he has been guarding his friends, so luckily he hasn't been shot at yet. But if Fisk plans to let them know his identity, he'd be screwed. He probably didn't yet, because that would be too easy in a way. He might still do it if he gets desperate though.

Jessica just snorts at the new information she's supposed to be excited about. "That wasn't Daredevil. He never kills like that. Actually the Moranos and him have a common enemy in Fisk. If they have some information to share on the guy or his whereabouts and I'm sure they do, Daredevil would like to take his ass back to prison. And trust me, the real one is a lot more dangerous than his copycat. You want him on your side."

There is a long silence. "Well, actually, then our conversation is over, because my concern is not Fisk, but my employers. They are psychotic."

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours before:

Jessica wakes up to one of her informants asking her to meet. Foggy is already dressed for work, so there is not much left to do for her. One more day without a casualty. Great. She's staying with him at night while Matt and Trish play heroes. He needs his outlet and Trish can get a taste of what she's aspiring to be. Hopefully she'll get over it then.

"Any news? Do you need anything from me?" The good-natured lawyer is always in a good mood when he isn't fighting with Matt or worrying over him. But in the morning it is particularly annoying.

"No, can I just leave and close the door or do I have to hurry up for you to lock the apartment…?"

"No stress… You don't have to get up. I made you a coffee, but you can make a new one if you want to sleep some more. Please take anything you want." Then he looks like she's gonna kill him. "I don't have any alcohol, though..."

"I've got stuff to do anyway. Now stop bugging me and go to work."

She sends a message to the others informing them when, where and who she is going to meet, in case something happens to her. The last time someone wanted to meet he blew up a church after all.

This time it is someone working with the Moranos who has something. Since those guys have more problems with Fisk and Fakedevil she thinks it is less likely that they would try to hurt her. When she receives a message from Matt that he'd like to tag along in costume she thinks it might be a good idea. If only to convince them that he isn't the one attacking them. She tells him to keep some distance though and just listen first to be on the safe side.

 

* * *

 

When Trish gets up in the morning Matt has already gone to the office and she uses her free day to jump back into research again. There was this place her mother did go once that felt a bit too secretive to not be interesting. And sure thing it doesn't show up on Google Earth or Street View. There is no information who is living there. It belongs to some company, but what exactly they are doing there is unclear. It also looked more like a house where people live and not where they work. She plans to go over there again to look who is coming and going.

She then sees that Jessica informed about her Morano meeting and as Matt invites himself there as well, she remembers again that she is supposed to tell him when she is investigating. So she also sends the address of the mysterious house to the group, but she doesn't tell the others why she is going there. Matt calls her then and they agree on a time for their little stakeout. She can't help getting nervous when the clock approaches the time when Jessica is supposed to meet her informant. The Moranos are a dangerous bunch and they could be setting a trap for Jessica and Matt. She calls Jessica to go over her plan. The clan is throwing a party tonight which is probably why her informant thinks it is a good time to sneak out for a couple of minutes. Since it is a high society event it would be easy for Trish to get invitations for her and Matt, but Jessica is no fan of that idea…

"There is no need for any of us to get in there. That would be a death trap populated by highly trained killers, Trish."

Of course she gets the invites anyway, just in case something goes wrong. And of course it does.

 

* * *

 

Matt enters the building way before the party begins and he picks it because he hears shady people whispering suspicious things. But none of them indicate that there is a trap planned for Jessica which is a good sign at least.

Over a couple of minutes he realises though that the place would be crowded with mobsters and celebrities soon and that he has to hide for which the basement is the natural choice. Not many people would go there. When he hears and feels Jessica approach the building he remembers that it won't be as easy for him to intervene from where he is hiding which is the point of him being there in the first place. So he has to step out again, but then he suddenly sees one of the mobsters, luckily the man is a bit drunk and slow. He is about to scream alarm when Matt knocks him out, stuffs him into a cupboard and scrambles back to the basement just in time. He sends a text saying that he is not able to help right now.

He hears Jessica then start to talk with her guy about a big drug deal of the Moranos the next day. He stores that information in his memory, but Jessica's priority is him and Fisk, so she directs the conversation there, much to the annoyance of the other guy.

Then someone suddenly locks the basement and since nobody is laughing on the other side or taunting him for making it so easy to catch him, he's pretty sure that they don't even know he's in there…. yet. Of course they would lock some rooms when guests are already entering the building. He should have thought of that. He should have waited outside. They were so right to call him reckless sometimes, it was fucking embarrassing.

"I want to get out."

That the man isn't lying is a relief to Matt, since he won't be able to help Jessica at the moment, if that man's loyalty was with the Moranos. At least she wouldn't get hurt because of his stupidity then.

"We can get you out, too, after we have dealt with Fisk. In the meantime helping them eliminate the competition will make them trust you."

He laughs. "You think, proposing a deal with Daredevil right now will make them trust me? You underestimate how much they hate him." Crap, no way he can argue with these guys then. But at least they'll see that he didn't kill the man in the cupboard, which would have been the logical behaviour for someone like Fakedevil. Hopefully one of them will start thinking.

"There has to be someone reasonable in this family." Even Jessica is thinking the same.

"Not one." The guy is not lying. But before he can make peace with his fate, determined to fight his way out as soon as the door opens, he feels another reckless person entering the party. He shoots Trish a message: "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Trish talks quietly: "Im invited. With a plus 1 by the way. Do you or Jessica need a girl in a shining dress to save your ass, by any chance…?"

Damn he is never going to hear the end of this. "Well, if you could arrange a suit for me and bring it to the basement that would be rather helpful."

She chuckles. "Give me a couple of minutes and take off the red costume already."

 

* * *

 

So, it's a good thing she just decided to show up at the party.

"Careful. These people are crazy and they can't know you're with me." Sure she is careful. She's not him, not looking for a fight.

"Did you check for laundry in the basement?" She waits for his next answer before trying to sneak in any mobster rooms.

"The laundry room is locked as well... But you might be able to open it… Call me."

Okay that might be easier. He picks up immediately, standing on the stairs to make sure he has reception. "Hey...! Look, I'm sorry. Please, be very careful. The moment they suspect you they might shoot you."

She sighs, but she'd be an idiot if she wasn't scared. "I know. Now what?"

"I'm going to navigate you, so you're not going to encounter anyone. Ask for the bathroom. It is not far from the basement. Pretend you're talking to a friend."

"Of course you can smell the toilet..." She does what he told her to do and follows the directions, babbling about her favorite new shoes on the way.

"Go into the bathroom. Someone is watching you." She does and stops talking.

"Wait. The basement is three doors to the left. You have to be fast when I tell you to go."

"Roger."

"I learned a lot about shoes just now."

"Shut up. Or I'm leaving you with the killer clan."

"That would probably be safer for you…"

"Someone has to save your stupid ass, so don't even start."

"Trish….! Go!" She hurries out the bathroom and unlocks the heavy basement door without a key which takes a few seconds. Then she jumps inside to bury her face in Matt's neck, while he hugs her, standing there in his underwear. She tries not to notice. "We don't have much time. The guy in the cupboard will wake up soon."

He leads her to the laundry room and she opens the door. Then her eyes go wide. There is a recent murder victim lying on the floor with a bullet wound so precisely between the eyes that she starts shivering.

"Yeah… if they suspect us we're so dead. Come on..."

She finds something for him to wear and pushes him out of the room, locking it up again. "I'm not staying in there."

He starts with the pants and then hesitates. "Fuck. Someone is coming to show the body to his boss!"

Trish panics, but she has seen enough spy movies to know what to do. "We pretend to make out." She pushes his pants down again and he seems to be on board, because his hands move her dress up as well and he starts kissing her neck. But he feels tense, very much prepared to start a fight any moment which doesn't make them very convincing. Trish realises that in this moment it might be vital for her to properly distract him. Kissing him like it's the last time before they die - which might actually be the case - does the trick and he melts into her. It's not difficult for them to sell it after that, both of them very aware that this could be the end. They barely register that the men outside find the door unlocked and then look amusingly scandalized for two murderers at the half dressed couple making out while a corpse is decomposing in the next room. One of them checks the laundry door and Matt starts fumbling for his clothes acting utterly blind and adorably innocent.

"At least this one you really locked."

The man then looks at the radio star and the blind lawyer who is dressed like a mobster now with a raised eyebrow. "You didn't have to stop because of us."

Matt blushes furiously. "I'm sorry, I didn't know where…"

"I just grabbed him and pulled him in here. He was just too delicious to take home first and risk him getting cold." She waggles her eyebrows. "We'll be out then." She giggles, pulling Matt to the door.

The second man stares and watches them like a hawk, but he doesn't stop them. She can feel that they have other concerns now anyway.

A suggestive "good night, Miss Walker" is the last thing she hears and it makes a shiver run down her spine.

 

* * *

 

Matt can hear them a little longer and it sounds like they don't suspect them at all. He is just leaving the party with Trish when the other man wakes up and makes a racket about seeing Daredevil. And no, that the guy is alive doesn't make them think there might be two vigilantes with horns and very different agendas out there. On the other hand when they discuss the strange couple in the basement, they decide he is way too small and blind to be the guy who is messing with them. Morons. At least that means they won't have Trish on their radar which he will be eternally thankful for.

"Oh my god! They are gonna find your armour in there!" Trish sounds freaked out as she grabs his arm.

"No, no, no… I managed to get it through a window in the basement and texted Jessica the location."

Said super PI comes around a corner just then with a bag in her hand.

"You look like an idiot, mobster boy."

Charming as always. "Thanks, Jess. Sorry for screwing up."

"Oh, don't be, you just stupidly almost got yourself AND TRISH killed. No problem." When she punches him in the face he doesn't even attempt to move away.

"Ouch! Fuck, dumbass, you could have ducked easily."

Matt shrugs with an apologetic smile and a drop of blood running out of his nose. "I deserved it."

Jessica groans and Trish starts looking for a handkerchief in her pocket.

"Well, couldn't be that for once you come out of a mission completely unharmed." He chuckles at that earning an amused head shake from Trish. Luckily Jessica didn't throw her punch with full force.

The stakeout is less eventful. Turns out he can work with Hellcat or Trish without making out with her. He was just starting to feel that this could end up being a regular occurrence.

"So... I didn't thank you yet for probably saving my life today."

He can hear her bright smile. "Ah, don't mention it." She waves it of. "It was my turn. And it was my pleasure."

Oh, was it...? "Well... that was fast thinking."

"Yeah, it was the best strategy I could come up with." Now she sounds a bit nervous. "I'm sorry for again touching you like that. I didn't have a choice, right? It's not like I wanted to..." She winces.

"Right..." Not that he didn't enjoy it and it might even have saved both their lives. Still, her ability to shut down his brain that easily is worrying. And the fact that she chose to do it twice now while he didn't expect it - practically in fight-mode - is particularly unnerving. But the worst thing is that he wants her to do it again and at the same time he doesn't. Matt is more and more convinced that Trish is mainly acting out her fantasies. Would they work in reality? He's just too afraid to find out, so he doesn't dare to initiate that talk. Trish looks like she also wants to say something, but she doesn't.

Thinking about their relationship is not avoidable in the long silence between them. He is starting to come to the conclusion that he doesn't want whatever this is. He wants her as Matt Murdock and not as Daredevil. He was surprised to find out that he even really enjoyed working with Hellcat, but he would prefer kissing Trish. It's not really that her becoming a vigilante is a problem for him. On the contrary. She was very focused, smart, caring and more reasonable than he even hoped. It was obvious that she was a huge help and he was more impressed with the way she handled it all than her actual abilities.

And the fact that she asked him along with this meant a lot. He knows Hellcat is Trish, but Trish is so much more than her abilities and it's the woman behind the mask he wants to know better. She just doesn't talk about anything anymore that doesn't involve bringing down Fisk. The only time she gets personal is when she flirts. That is fun and all, but she'll get tired of it and move on.

"So, you followed your mother here after you were taken?"

Trish's heartbeat picks up speed. "Yes, Jessica thinks she's not involved anymore, but we never found the connection to Fisk."

Matt knows it's a sour subject. She only mentioned it once, when she was still curious about his own past. "Did you ever find out why she did it? Why she betrayed you like that?"

He swallows when he hears her wince in discomfort.

"No. Maybe she had debts with Fisk." And that is where they leave that conversation again for a couple of minutes. Congrats Murdock. Now this will definitely be awkward.

Trish starts shuffling in their hiding spot after a while, taking a new position. "Can you, can you sense anyone there?"

Right, he should narrate to her what he can figure out. She can feel his emotions not hear his thoughts. "You're right that someone is hiding here. There are three persons in there, two of them positioned like security and sadly none of them are talking to each other." She seems glad that she didn't drag him out for something irrelevant at least. "Someone is watching TV."

An hour goes by without anyone coming or going. To pass the time Matt narrates the film being watched a little bit and Trish thinks it sounds like shit and the dialogues alone sure enough don't seem to make any sense. He tells her it's like that with most films. Just before the climax the phone rings though. The TV is still running, but he can make out a female voice talking.

"It's a woman." Trish doesn't interrupt while he is listening. "She sounds apologetic and is reasoning with someone."

Matt tries to concentrate further on her voice. "Look, I don't know the plan. He wouldn't tell me anything. But whatever it is, we both know it's for the better." Then she is silent and someone is shouting on the other end of the line. "You can't pull out now. It's too late. I will tell him you called… But he will not be happy."

Then the TV is too loud and he can't understand a word, until: "Things were all set into motion. Don't you worry." Then she finishes the call and resumes her film.

Matt tells Trish what he heard. "Let's go, I think I might have an idea who this is."

Trish smiles triumphantly. "Oh, yeah?"

They take off before their informant in the Morano clan shows up in front of the house.


	16. You're Still Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a much needed heart to heart. Enjoy the cheesiness while it lasts. Things are about to turn ugly.

Trish feels pretty good about herself. She saved Matt's life today - by making out with him, which makes it a double win in her book - and then she also might have given him another lead. But he acts a bit cagey, hides behind his glasses and changes the topic fast, working on his laptop eagerly. She doesn't even care who is living in that house. Apparently nobody he wants her to go near, but she could tell they might have stumbled on something useful that he needs to look into.

It is already the middle of the night, when she decides they have to go to bed soon, since Matt plans to attack the Moranos during their drug deal the next day. But he tells her he needs to do some more research and she probably has to force him to get some rest. Now she just hopes her ability to distract him isn't gone already. Trish looks at Matt with a naughty grin and starts unbuttoning his shirt with her mind.

For a second he looks surprised, intrigued even, then with his head still tilted down he says: "Not in the mood, Trish." He's trying very hard to ignore her and she doesn't believe him, or at least that doesn't appear to be the whole truth. She would just leave it, but he'd probably spend too many hours working on this and she's also slightly insulted by the tone in his voice. There is something wrong and she needs to know what it is. They need to talk. "Matt..."

"I am sorry for snapping at you. I just need to do this now." Matt tries hard to look busy, but it's not working. She can feel that he is upset.

She walks over to him and turns his chair to sit on his lap and put his glasses away, because she needs to see his reaction for this conversation. He seems to resign and just let it happen, conflicted expression on his tired face. "I thought things were going good between us. What's wrong?"

He sighs. "I don't know. We did have sex to relieve the tension, right? There's no need to make this a regular thing. I need to concentrate on Fisk..."

Trish tilts his face up and looks at his sad eyes. He didn't really want that, so what might be the problem? She starts massaging his neck and he leans into her touch automatically closing his expressive eyes. Was it just about her distracting him? Maybe a little, that would be fine. But when that was the problem he acted differently and it didn't seem as casual for him as he is trying to make it sound now. Before he was angry about getting manipulated, but then he was tense and gentle. Now he behaves more like she hurt his feelings somehow. A ridiculous suspicion dawns on her. "Is this about me saying it was…  pretty good?" He huffs, definitely doesn't like being reminded of that and she laughs.

"You know, that was not even an insult, you arrogant bastard."

"Well, that was." Now, he's decidedly sulking. "And it wasn't just good for me. I actually even put in some effort, you know? Tried to show you that I can do more than fight."

He was really getting worked up over this. "Wait, you don't think I just like you, because you can probably kill a person with your pinky, do you?"

"Nooo…?" He looks very confused. It's a yes, then.

"Matt…! How do you even manage to be smug and that insecure at the same time?!" Trish slaps him jokingly on the back of his head and sighs. She's going to have to tell him the truth and reveal just how much he means to her now. He doesn't pull away when her lips touch his temple and his cheek and she cups his carefully hopeful looking face, before taking a long breath. "It's true, that I've had a big crush on you ever since I found out you are Daredevil." He looks genuinely surprised by that admission. What the fuck? He's supposed to be smart, how did he not figure that one out? "But it's not because of your mad skills, you dummy. It's Matt Murdock I'm concerned for, it's his scars I want to kiss better and it's his incredible amount of compassion that makes him irresistible. And let me remind you that you heard me make some suggestive comments about a certain - very charming and handsome - blind lawyer before I even knew he could also kick ass." He smiles at that and she sees his eyes water a little. "Are you crying…?"

He tries to wipe those treacherous unshed tears away mumbling something, but she stops his hand. "No, this is good. I've been worried you were not able to…" She kisses him to which he does respond eagerly. But she's not done talking, so she stops, playing with the hair in his neck. Gone is his mask of indifference and she can see every emotion reflect on his face clearly. It is heartwarming to see him this open.

"And let me tell you something else: Daredevil can be a real pain in the ass once you get to know him, risking his life all over the place and apparently assuming people would not be devastated by his death." Now she is starting to get a little choked up, before her smile comes through. "He's very, very lucky, that he's a fantastic lay…"

He stops her with another hungry kiss that implies very obvious intentions of going further. But she suddenly leans back and laughs at his behaviour. "You're such a guy. You just wanted to hear the last part, didn't you?"

"Actually I really needed to hear everything you said before that. I think you are the first person who truly understands both of my lives. The last part just made me want to show you how much I appreciate that in the bedroom."

She grins like she just won a prize. "Okay, please do that then."

"I could kill a person with my pinky, by the way." And smug Matt is back, accompanied by a beautiful smile which makes it less annoying and more endearing.

"But you never would and that's what makes you wonderful."

Later Trish looks at him sleeping peacefully next to her. Where did he get the stupid idea that she was not totally smitten? He could hear her heartbeat after all, how her little bluff could fool him was beyond her. And even she knew that he had feelings for her, although he seems to be generally quite flirty, so she tried not to read too much into it and she could rarely sense emotions from him, same as Jessica. He just reacted to her that way.

Apparently his self worth issues go a lot deeper than she thought was possible. Did he actually think she was using him? First as a trainer and then as some kind of toy boy? It was silly to think about the dangerous vigilante and clever lawyer that way. It seems he is pretty clueless when it comes to positive feelings people have for him, beyond wanting him. Of course she did want him. After their "too good to be real"-kiss that was kind of undeniable. But it was also more.

It would be cute, if it wasn't so sad. And he didn't want to break it off with her, although it was eating at him. He was somehow waiting for her to lose interest. And that really breaks her heart a little, that he was going with it feeling used and manipulated and he tried not to let it show. She had to make sure that from now on he would know that she's not just gonna drop him any moment because she "got what she wanted" from him. Maybe this had to do with his relationship with Elektra. Or maybe it is about his mentor leaving him when he noticed he got attached… She had to ask Foggy about this.

 

* * *

 

Matt wakes up in Trish's arms and he hasn't slept this well in a long time. He stays next to her and enjoys her presence, not even missing his silk sheets. After about ten minutes she starts to stir and opens her eyes slowly, smiling at him. He traces her lips with his fingers and smiles back at her.

"You're still here." Her observational skills are impeccable.

"I don't want to go anywhere else today." He closes his eyes and practically purrs when she caresses his cheek softly with her fingers. Then she buries her hand in his hair and pulls him close for a slow and sweet morning kiss.

"I so hope this isn't a dream."

"Me, too."

She sighs. "You can stay as long as you like. But don't you have work to do?"

"Nothing urgent. I'm trying to get some rest before tonight." He has to be fit for the Moranos. The plan is to either take them out of the equation by getting them arrested or make a deal with the devils who will try to shoot him at sight.

Trish presses against his body and buries her face in his neck. "I think I have two more hours until I have to work."

He hesitates. "Do you want to train again?"

"No! I can think of better things to do right now." She kisses his neck and makes him giggle. She seems determined to show him that she is not just interested in Daredevil, which is sweet of her. "I want to just be with you as long as possible. We don't know what will happen tonight."

His lips brush against her temple and he squeezes her softly. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She looks at him then and with a mild accusation in her voice she says: "No Matt, we look out for each other now." She swallows. "I know you're stronger than me, but I don't want to see you get hurt either. Understand?"

"Trish, they have guns. And they know how to use them, remember?"

Matt doesn't want to take her into this. It's too dangerous. But she'll come anyway and there is nothing he can do about it. Nothing he can say to make her understand. He knows this, partly, because it's the same for him. He is a hypocrite.

"You're not bulletproof either, you jerk. And I think my armour is actually safer against bullets than yours."

He tugs her hair behind her ear and rests his head against hers. "Let's not think about all that for a couple of minutes, okay?"

Her fingers find one of his scars. "Yeah, alright." He can feel the light touch and it makes him shiver a little. Trish has this amazing way of waking up his senses with the tiniest of movements. It was getting quite addictive and he thinks he could enjoy it all day. He is glad that she seems to want that as much as him after all. After a lazy make-out session he thinks of another topic he wanted to address for some time.

"You know, I heard your show sometimes. People are listening to you around town after all."

Trish licks her lip. "What do you think?"

Is she seriously nervous about that? He giggles. "Trish, of course, I like listening to it, to your voice…" She hums in his embrace. "When Jessica told me about you for the first time I remembered your show. She really did NOT want us to meet."

"Hell no." She laughs.

Matt remembers that Jessica was worried about Trish's little Daredevil fixation as well as his own hero complex. She was probably right to worry. He sighs. "I wasn't very comfortable when you talked about Daredevil."

"Why? I don't think I criticised you too much." She blushes. Yeah, it was pretty obvious that she approved of his methods.

"You were quite supportive, even when I was framed by Fisk the first time around. That was before I even knew Jessica."

"Of course, I talked to some people you saved. They tended to be quite grateful, you know?" She smirked. "Some of them might even have had a big hero crush on you."

Right. He remembers a particularly embarrassing discussion where they wanted to determine who's hotter, Daredevil or Captain America. Apparently that was the only fight he could win against Rogers and he does remember that Trish picked the famous Avenger back then in the end. Although, since yesterday he's pretty sure that she changed her mind.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it felt unnerving to hear you talk about Daredevil. It was as if you knew me."

Trish takes his hand in hers then. "Maybe I understood. Jessica was different, but she also wanted to help with her abilities."

He laughs. "She tells it differently. Says you pushed her to slip into a costume and all."

"Well, yeah… I thought it would be good for her. To make others see the hero in her. She always had this instinct to help though, just too many issues to deal with of her own. Even before..."

Matt can see what she means. Jessica could have just left him in the convent, but she didn't. She wouldn't. And she didn't even want his gratitude. "Yeah, well, Daredevil isn't supposed to be about me. He was supposed to be a symbol, so I appreciated the support. But…" He remembers the time Frank Castle emerged. "I did have a lot of doubts about what I'm doing. I screwed up a lot. Going after Fisk as a lawyer as well might have been my biggest mistake. But I wanted to show the system can work, you know?"

"Of course." She cups his face. Steady heartbeat. Time to ask her for a favour. "And now that you DO know me, it is even more unsettling to hear you talk about Daredevil. Could you... not do it anymore?"

He doesn't want her to draw attention to herself, but she looks concerned. Her thump rubs his cheek and she hesitates. "Tomorrow is the first show after Fakedevil's attack. We will have to talk about it…"

He sighs, because he didn't think of that. "l think people start to get the impression that you know me. I hear them talk."

When she utters the next words she sounds pissed: "Then let them talk. I'll try to appear objective. But I'm never gonna let them tear you down."

He really loves her passion for her job, her desire to stand up for something she believes in, even if it makes her vulnerable. That is something she shares with Karen, he realises. "Trish, one talk show is not going to ruin me."

"Me not supporting Daredevil all of a sudden would be even more suspicious. And you have enough people against you at the moment."

He closes his eyes. She's trying to save him and he's trying to save her. They won't get anywhere like this.

"Hell's Kitchen needs its devil."

"And that devil needs you. After you attended the Morano party, where I was spotted…. Don't you think they'll put two and two together? What do you think they'll do then?" He isn't really too worried about that. They didn't seem to be that bright. But it makes her reconsider.

"I didn't think of that… You're right, I can't be too emotional about it." She sighs and leans her head against his. "But whatever I say on air, please know that you're a true hero. No, don't deny it. You're not perfect, but you try to do the right thing." She then grabs his ass making him laugh. "And I could stay in bed with you all day. You're hot as fuck."

He smirks. "Hotter than Captain Rogers?"

Trish blushes immediately. "Oh god, you heard that?!" She then buries her face in her pillow and he chuckles.

"I mean, Captain America has to be pretty hot, I guess. I wouldn't know."

She groans. "Ugh… you just wanna hear another compliment." Then she turns to look at him again and her eye roll is very obvious. "Well, now I know Daredevil is Matt - hot as fuck - Murdock, so, yeah. You win. Stop smiling like that. You're insufferable."

"You think I'm irresistible." She pushes the pillow on his smug face, starting a playful tumble of limbs that ends with the very familiar position of Matt pinning her down, very aware of her breathing.

Trish smiles teasingly. "Sooo, aren't you afraid that I'm distracting you right now?"

"I am. But if I slip up, you can always save my ass. You seem to be quite fond of it."

 

* * *

 

 

When Jessica arrives Matt and Trish are already waiting for her and apparently they asked Luke to come along as well.

"Is iron head coming, too?"

"Hi Jess." Matt greets her first in his usual dry way with an annoyingly charming smile. "Danny is watching Foggy and Colleen is with Claire since we borrowed her boyfriend, because he seems quite useful against gun nuts."

Said boyfriend snorts. "You make me sound like her property."

"Welcome to the world of sexism, Luke. Complain and prepare to be ridiculed." With that Jess pats his shoulder and goes to hug Trish.

"You look better than in the picture."

"Is that all you got?" Matt looks amused under his silly mask. "I think you're going easy on your sister."

"And you're going down on her, so don't challenge the snark, Beelzebub, or I'll punch your stupid horns in."

"Are you done?", Luke asks her raising one eyebrow and Trish snickers.

"For now. So, do we have a plan?"

They discuss some strategies depending on where the dealers will meet and who is coming. "If Lenny Morano is here Matt can't approach him. If it's one of his minions, maybe..."

Luke interrupts her then. "Even then: let me try talk them down first, until we're sure they won't try to shoot him."

Matt nods carefully. "Sounds good."

And Trish chips in: "I'm staying hidden close by and try to put the odds in our favour by moving some doors and throwing some arrows."

There's not much else to do but wait and the dealers aren't the punctual kind. So, while Trish and Matt are acting disgustingly sweet, pretending to look out, but really just holding hands, Jessica shares another awkward moment with Luke who notices her watching them. "She'll be fine, don't worry."

"I'm not worried, just mildly annoyed at their coupleness."

"Don't you want your sister to be happy?" Of course, she does.

"With him?" Jessica laughs at the suggestion. "We buried that guy a couple of months ago and even if he survives the whole Fisk thing, there will always be something else. And she's not much better. She'll either end up being like him or she'll dump him and I'll have to listen to both their whining."

Luke shakes his head. "I always forget how cynical you are."

"It's just the truth. Hell, I even told her to go for it, but that doesn't mean I expect this to last. I'm just waiting to pick up the pieces." She sees Trish whisper something into Matt's ear, which is ridiculous, because he could hear it from anywhere. It has to be something dirty. He kisses her forehead and does the same.

"What about you?" She can feel his contemplating look somehow. "Since when do you care that something lasts?"

"Trish is not me. She's independent and strong, but she also wants to connect with someone. I am just taking care of myself now." She shrugs. "How is Claire?"

She doesn't get his answer, because that's when Matt frowns and tilts his head listening to something. "I think they're coming." Jessica and Luke join them and Matt is already narrating what he is picking up. "They are around the corner. A car with four people. There are at least seven on different ships over there, but the five on the small one are moving more now."

Trish moves to Jessica's side. "You think you can drop me on top of the big ship next to it?"

"Sure. Hold on tight."

Trish turns back to her boyfriend one more time. "Matt? No dying tonight. Promise?" She can hear him promise quietly and demand the same from her. Trish squeezes his hand once more and wraps her arms around Jessica's body. "Ready."

Jessica then jumps high enough to land on the big ship. She can see Matt and Luke take their positions shortly before the car pulls up and three men step out.

"Shit, that's Lenny." Jessica growls.

"Which one?" Trish looks over to the car.

"The one in the blue suit."

Trish looks on and now it's more obvious how scared she is. It's more about him though. "Can you go, too?" Jessica shakes her head disbelievingly. "I'll be fine here. Noone is going to see me. But they need you."

"Trish, he can take care of himself. I'll see from here if they need help."

Then her sister looks at her with the pleading eyes of someone who's praying to some kind of deity. Weird. "I have a bad feeling about this. Please…"

Ugh. She could not refuse her. Sometimes she envied Matt for not being able to see. "Damn. You stay here."

What no one knows is that one person on the big boat Trish is left on is none other than Wilson Fisk.


	17. Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... you guessed it. Fisk does what villains are supposed to do. :)  
> *runs and hides*

Matt tells Luke what the dealers are talking about. They seem to come to an agreement. If they don't want one of the Moranos to get away with the drugs they probably need to attack soon. Their informant is also among them, his heartbeat gives his fear away. He knows they're coming. Could he have told them? Jessica is silently coming over to where Matt and Luke are hiding. "The jackass in the middle is Lenny, by the way. Stay away from him, Matt. He's more dangerous than he looks."

"Jess, to judge a book by its cover I would need to see." Matt smirks as he hears her chuckle.

Luke is not impressed. "Good to know, that you two are taking this seriously."

And then suddenly there are gun shots and one out of the Morano gang tumbles to the ground with a hole in his head. This is turning violent sooner than expected. Everyone else takes cover, from both sides of this deal. All of them were surprised, so who is the one shooting at them?

"Are you sure that informant didn't talk to anyone else?" Matt hears Jessica's heart skip a beat. Now both of them feel guilty about how all the Morano business worked out. First he gets stupidly locked in their basement, then they find out her informant might have landed them in another mess.

"Probably not…" They really need to be more careful about dealing with criminals who want to tell them things. Of course the guy was not lying about the Moranos. He wanted to leave. Matt just didn't expect him to inform some other criminal that they were coming and Jessica didn't ask him about that. Was he working with Fisk? Is this his trap?

But at least the attackers are not shooting at them yet, so, maybe nobody told them they'd be there after all or they have not been spotted by them yet.

Some of the shots come from the ship Trish is hiding on. But she's on the top of it and probably aware where the bullets are coming from. She's gonna be fine. Nobody knows she is there. Trish is careful, he tries telling himself and starts taking out the dealers one by one with Luke. Jessica lets him know that she'll be on her way to the other ship to stop the gunshots. It's going to take a long time getting to all of them while they are under fire. At least this way the Moranos can't flee.

Matt sneaks up on the guy Jessica pointed out, when she talked about Lenny. He holds his gun close to his chest, ready to shoot. Luke is busy elsewhere, so there is no point in dragging this out. He just has to be very fast. And he is. Matt has Lenny in a tight grip within seconds, unarmed and angry: "You again….!"

"I'm not the one who has been attacking you." Matt snarls while the guy struggles for a couple of seconds. Then he stills, as if he is considering his opponent and taking him in. There is a dirty laugh spilling out of his mouth.

"You really aren't, because otherwise, I'd be dead." Then he raises his eyebrows. "But you sure are attacking us right now."

Yeah this doesn't look too good. "I'm not the one shooting here. Don't even carry a gun." Maybe trying to befriend the enemy of your enemy for a little while might not be the best idea after all. As if to underline that thought, Lenny then kicks him in the balls and he runs for the gun on the floor. But it is miraculously moves out of his reach, startling the man. Another struggle for the weapon breaks out, until it slides along the floor and falls into the water. Matt punches the guy some more times to show that he might not kill him, but he's still not to be messed with. He's also glad, Trish didn't try to drug him, not because of her aim, but because he still needs to talk to him.

Lenny starts laughing. "If this is your way to make a peace offering, it's not very enticing, Lucifer." He wipes some blood from his lip.

"Listen, we have a common enemy and he's trying to pit us against each other. He might even be behind the men shooting at us right now. If we just don't try to kill each other until Fisk is dealt with, your survival chances increase immensely." Matt can feel a change in the man before him. It makes him hopeful and nervous at the same time. That guy is cleverer than any of the Moranos' he'd encountered so far and he is not to be trusted. He has to make sure that the man would actually have something to gain from staying on his good side. "It's your choice." He smiles devilishly. "If your people don't shoot at me, I might even be able to finally take care of that embarrassing imposter."

Without a gun in sight Lenny knows that he is outmatched here. He clears his throat. "How about you help me get away today and I will tell them to stop hunting for you."

Matt nods. "Fine."

"Good." His heartbeat is steady. But for all Matt knows, this man could be so used to shady deals that he probably is cheating everyone constantly. Using a lie detector on him could backfire, if you trust the results. He could also change his mind any moment.

Matt makes a gesture in the direction where Luke and Jessica almost cleared the way. "After you."

While walking behind the guy, Matt concentrates on any indication that the criminal will again try to make this difficult, but there is nothing. He does not have much of a choice. Matt has to throw one billy club to disarm one of the other dealers trying to kill Lenny. He easily knocks him out and manages to avoid the others completely. Then they reach a point where he can't go further without being seen by one of the shooters. "I'll take care of that guy over there and then you can run to the car."

Lenny smiles. "Alright…" Matt senses that he wants to say more, so he waits for his next words. "Find me when you want to make a deal."

Somehow, that sentence doesn't sound as reassuring as he thought it would, considering it's what he wanted to hear. Matt just leaves the man standing there without giving him an answer. He just silently makes his way to the other ship, still sometimes checking on what that snake is doing. The guy is still standing there, waiting, when he suddenly hears Trish calling for help.

 

* * *

 

"Help!", she croaks, knowing that Matt would hear her, if he isn't still engaged in his own battle. And sure enough he shows up within seconds, anger and blind panic hidden behind the mask. But Trish can feel them and that is not reassuring in the slightest.

"Ah, there you are and finally we meet again." The man holding her basks in his successful trap. She has a chilling idea who he might be. "I'll snap her neck, if you move any closer." Slowly after a man also appears pointing a gun at Matt.

"Let her go. You just want me and I'm here." How he can sound that menacing when she can feel he's terrified for her life is a mystery to her.

Warning him is gonna be futile. Still she has to try it. "Please… just go." Trish's words are quiet enough that Fisk doesn't hear them, although he is standing right behind her. They are just meant for Daredevil's ears.

"You've had your chance to distance yourself from your friends. I think I made you a reasonable offer, but you didn't accept. YOU were the one who made this personal in the first place." He spits on the floor. "And now, I'm the big bad man who won't leave innocents alone? Please…" His arm goes tighter around Trish's neck and he twists her hands behind her back. She tries hard not not make a sound, almost failing.

"No! Please… I haven't done anything to hurt Vanessa."

Trish has to do something, since Matt seems to be frozen to the ground. First she makes sure the safety is in place again on the gun pointed at him. She can tell that he heard it. 

"But you threatened her. You see, that is why I need some insurance. That's why I'm taking this girl with me."

Sadly Fisks grip is so tight she thinks he will be able to just snap her neck if she tries anything and she already threw all of her arrows helping Jessica out. But she can still see one of them and concentrates on making it float over. She whispers: "Distract him."

Matt then snaps out of his shock state, more confident suddenly. "Vanessa is in danger anyway, as long as she is with you, and not from me. I heard she was poisoned once. Did you never think she'd be safer without you…?"

Trish mentally - as in literally with her mind, not in her head - aims her weapon at the man holding her. From the corner of her eye she can see her little arrow and it should hit Fisk right in the face while he is looking over her shoulder like that. She just has to concentrate.

"I'll protect her. Always." There is a condescending gaze on Matt's face. Trish snorts at that and makes her arrow shoot through the air. Suddenly Fisk moves and Matt screams while Trish can feel a tiny needle enter her flesh. Then everything appears to happen very slowly. She doesn't even know if Fisk saw it coming, but apparently his reflexes are pretty good and now her muscles start to relax involuntarily. There is nothing she can do, which is a scarily familiar feeling. Before she can fall to the ground though, and before Matt can react, she's pushed over the railing. Trish falls through the air and tries to fight unconsciousness. She is vaguely aware of him screaming. Hitting the cold water helps wake her body up a little and in one last effort she struggles to get to the surface again, but it's already a lost battle, because she is already swallowing liquid. She needs to breathe desperately, but she is slowly passing out from the drug.

This is it. Her end. She always knew this was a risk of doing something like this. Maybe after Jessica survived so much she started believing in a higher power. In good always winning against evil in the end. And maybe it will. She just won't be there to witness it. Picturing Jessica grieving after the battle is won hits her in the gut. Her death will destroy her. Trish achieves to move her tired limbs some more then. But it's too much. Another image hits her when she realises it's pointless. Matt at Jessica's side, gathering her in a comforting embrace, a guilt ridden expression torturing his handsome face. She failed them both in trying to help. Now they will have to go on without her and it will be even harder. At least they have each other or she really hopes they do. It is this thought she is clinging to while the water is pulling her down and tearing her away from them.

The last thing she can sense is another body falling in the water above her and then everything goes dark.

 

* * *

 

The water is very cold at night, but another icy dread fills Jessica's heart as she dives for her drowning sister as fast as she can. Luckily she is still able to see her. Her body has already fallen unconscious, so there's not much time left. She has to get her out to safety, as far away from the gunshots as possible. When Jessica grabs Trish's hand, she tries hard not to panic and clear her head. They can't be seen, so she comes to the surface a couple of boats away. She's glad her powers make it possible for her to drag the horribly lifeless body out of the water alone. She carefully puts her down on the floor and checks her breath, but there is nothing. In this moment her life depends on Jessica and she really shouldn't hesitate to reanimate her sister, but this time her strength scares her. What if she pushes too hard? She is beyond relieved then when she hears Matt's voice close by. "Her heart isn't beating. Let me…" He gently nudges her aside and she scrambles away without protest. He immediately starts trying to revive her and Jessica hugs her legs to her chest, still out of breath herself. Maybe she should be helping Luke right now, but she can't move, too terrified to leave the one person who always stayed by her side no matter what.

She stares at Trish's unmoving face and wishes she hadn't listened to her. Leaving her on that ship was wrong. She remembers the determined wannabe heroine pleading with her to go and help the others. "I have a bad feeling about this." Well, Jessica had a bad feeling about this, too. Sometimes she hates being right. Tears start running down her face as she observes Matt trying to breathe life back into her. He would probably give his last breath to her, if he could. From what she knew about his senses, Matt knew exactly how much pressure was needed. If anyone was able to save her, it would be him. But the longer it takes the more she loses hope. Jessica starts sobbing with Matt's voice repeating the same sentence over and over in her head: "Her heart isn't beating."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *coming back with popcorn*  
> So, any thoughts on Lenny? I kind of enjoy writing that bastard. ;)


	18. Broken Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Fisk has made the threat from the phone call a little more real Matt doesn't know what to do anymore.

He is not going to lose anyone else. Matt is on autopilot when he runs back to Luke who is single handedly fighting the remaining men working for Fisk. The Kingpin himself is gone, as well as the other two gangs. But he didn't go without giving him one final message, loud and clear on that ship: "I'll stop killing them, if you distance yourself from these people."

It's that sentence combined with the drug entering Trish's veins or her body falling overboard that keeps replaying over and over in his head.

Luke is struggling a little as Matt comes to his aid immediately knocking out two men who didn't see him. Now that the attackers need to watch their own backs again, the man with unbreakable skin has more room to move and lash out.

Matt has to concentrate hard, if he doesn't want to get shot. He can't be thinking of Trish's gasp when Fisk pushed her off the ship and the splash of her body hitting the water. So he starts kicking around like a mad man, the pain from the fight grounding him a little bit. He is dodging some bullets, feeling two hit his armour and feeling Luke shield him against others. They work well together and soon they push most the shooters back. Against two Defenders the remaining men accept that they don't stand a chance and flee to safety. Luke Cage is exhausted, but not nearly as much as Matt, whom he needs to steady after they take cover in case they missed a gunman.

"Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." His concern is honest. Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." The big man scoffs at the miserable vigilante in front of him.

"You fought with Lenny. Did that help or does he want to kill you even more now?"

Matt completely forgot about him. "He might be open now to have a temporary agreement if it serves him well. We've got to be cautious around that guy... I have to go somewhere. Can you tell…." He hesitates. "Just say that I'm fine. I have to go."

He already starts running away when Luke asks skeptically: "Are you? And are the others?" He just watches him go, perhaps mostly concerned about Jessica's whereabouts. Sensing his tension, Matt calls back: "Jessica is alright." The following sigh of relief is the last thing he picks up.

He keeps running as fast as his legs allow thinking of Trish lying under him, no movement, no breath and no heartbeat. He could feel the air enter her lungs, the way he had to press down on her chest to hear the pumping rhythm again. They have only known each other for a few weeks - barely over two months - now, but Trish has become an important person in his life, faster than most. The list of close people in his life that he can't afford to lose is getting longer and longer. And it's not like dying innocents wouldn't make a mark either. 

Stick always insisted that having those connections is a weakness and he knows that is not true. It is on the contrary vital to keep his humanity with what he does and not lose his mind, but right now he feels that every second he is seen with any of them, he puts a huge target on their backs. He has to think and find a way to deal with this, without being responsible for any of his friends dying. He already lost his dad, he lost Elektra and even that asshole Stick. And it is probably no coincidence that all these people he likes to have around - apart from Foggy and to some extent Claire - do tend to land themselves in trouble on their own. It is what he loves about them as well. Adding his own problems on their plates just doesn't feel like the right thing to do. So, he'll hide. From them and from Fisk. At least for now. And once he finds out where the guy is he can always contact them again.

He knows they'll be mad, though. He has no illusions about that. If they won't have anything to do with him after this, he'll understand. Foggy has forgiven him over and over again and he feels like his best friend has finally given up on screaming at him. He'll come around eventually and just be glad if he survives. Karen would be easier to win back he hopes, same as Claire. But he is not sure how much more Jessica can tolerate. Maybe she has a soft spot for lost causes, but there is probably gonna be a time when even she reaches a limit. And then she could also convince Trish that she should give up on him. And Trish has so far been the most understanding one: When he had snapped at her for putting her own life in danger (Well, he was right to worry. And she has every right to snap back at him now...), when he had to be Daredevil after Fisk's call or when she realised that he felt used and manipulated.

To think that he almost gave up on Trish today. That he almost lost her...

 

* * *

 

"Where is Matt?" Jessica can see the panic rise in Trish.

"Calm down. He's probably just looking out for Luke." She didn't see him go, but she's grateful he apparently thought of checking on the other guy who came along to help.

"Can we go there, please?" Her worried face makes Jessica agree. Hell, she was a bit concerned as well. Matt might not have been as paralysed as she was, while he was fighting for Trish's life. But when she finally opened her eyes, it looked like he finally allowed himself to breathe, as well. After she was able to recover a little, he immediately cradled her in his arms and exhaled a shaky breath. Jessica saw his hand tremble behind Trish's head. Jumping right back into battle after he almost lost her is crazy. He is not in the best state to fight against men with guns and only one of them is really bulletproof after all. Hopefully Luke will be able to shield the idiot if he makes a mistake. Trish is right, maybe she needs to look. Jessica takes Trish's arm around her shoulder. But as they get closer to where the others were fighting, she tells her to sit down and wait.

The battle is over though. Luke meets her half way and Daredevil is nowhere to be seen. "Did you see Matt?"

"Yeah, he helped me out, after you all decided to abandon me with these guys." He gestures at some bodies in the distance and shakes his head with a wry smile. The police will be arriving soon to collect them.

Jessica just states: "Trish almost drowned." That wipes the humor off his face.

"Oh, shit. She alright?"

"She'll be fine. Where did he go?"

Luke shrugs. "To take care of something, he said. He fought well, but looked awful afterwards. Now I see why..."

Okay, this can't be good. Trish is not going to like it.

"He's not with you?" Jessica looks back at the woman approaching them with a fearful question on her lips. She looks around.

"Nonono…" Trish takes out her burner phone and dials. She looks like she has seen a ghost.

"Trish, calm down. You're just exhausted. He's fine."

But the woman just shakes her head desperately. "No. He's not. You weren't there. Fisk threatened his friends again. After what happened today, he'll risk believing him. He'll try to fight on his own."

Shit. She could be right. "Come on. Let's get to the car."

Trish still has the phone to her ear while she starts running after Jessica.

He didn't take anything from his own place, maybe fearing that someone would stop him there. They hurry over to Trish's apartment, where she changes into her regular clothes, and there she sees that his things are already gone.

When they arrive at Jessica's office, tired and worried, the PI pours them both a glass of Whiskey. "Here, drink this. You almost died today." She takes a sip herself trying hard not to freak out. "I'll look for ideas on the computer. He needs money if he wants to deal with this alone. IF..."

It's difficult to stay positive, but she is trying, for her sister.

"He'll definitely be out there at night. Can we look for him together, please?"

Jessica nods. "Sure, if there are people to be saved we could run into him. Otherwise he'll smell or hear us, before we know that we're close and he can flee without us noticing."

She sees Trish's face fall, desperation creeping through her, so she tries to cheer her up a little. "Look, maybe we're overreacting. He might just turn up again like nothing happened…" Trish nods, clearly not believing it. Disappearing like that right after he saved her life again, was really not a good sign after all.

Suddenly Jessica receives a text and Trish also only seconds later. They share a concerned look, understanding that it Matt wrote to both of them and start reading. That is how they see their suspicion confirmed without doubt. "Yeah, he skipped. Fuck." Trish starts to read it out loud: "I'm sorry, I just can't. Please be careful. I don't know if it's too late or if he'd actually stop coming after you guys. But I have to try. I am sorry and I wish we could make it work, Trish. I hope you'll forgive me..." Trish exhales and sits down at the desk. "Fuck, this reads like a suicide note. I'm gonna kill him if I ever see him again."

Jessica pours herself another drink and puts her hand on Trish's shoulder to comfort her. "Doubt it."

Of course his phone is shut down after that. A tear starts running down her sister's face. "Just say it."

"What?"

"I told you so."

"Not a good time to gloat."

"Wanna do it when he's dead?"

"No, when we saved his fucking ass."

 

* * *

 

It is not a great time to prepare that stupid show on Fakedevil's attack of the radio station. But ironically Matt is going to get his wish after all and she won't be defending him on air. She'll try not to talk about him at all, because if she does, she's afraid she'll have a live meltdown. He is such a massive jerk and he makes it impossible to be mad at him at the same time. Because, yeah, she understands. He's delusional if he thinks he can do it on his own. Still, after everything that happened, after practically dying, she understands that to him his own life isn't a priority. It's not because he takes it for granted, she has seen that he can enjoy living, at least when he isn't brooding or worrying, when he is saving people, when he's with his friends or with her. But he has had to grief so much and another blow like that, her dying so soon after he risked really letting her in, would have been horrible. Of course he'd feel responsible. Idiot.

She is mad as hell that he left like a coward, without even saying goodbye. But she understands, because it was similar for her when she was down there, drowning. She didn't see her own life in front of her eyes. Instead, what she saw was life going on without her. And as much as she felt like she did fail them in that moment, she was also glad it wasn't one of them dying and her being forced to keep on living. Whatever she did before stupidly hitting herself with that arrow - like he fucking warned her in one of his lessons - might even have helped them survive this. She drugged a guy who was about to attack Jessica from behind and she moved that gun out of Lenny Morano's reach, twice. She put the safety on before getting thrown into the water. Who knows what would have happened without her interference.

Trish wouldn't throw her life away for Jessica or him, but that might not be what he intends to do now, not really. He just does everything in his power to keep them alive, without thinking about the consequences for his life. Maybe feeling guilty is worse for him than getting hurt. That's why he does stupid shit. She just has to convince him that it won't work or at least find a way to forgive him for abandoning them all and let him know that he can come back any time. Offer him hope. And that just might be easier to do than helping him if he was actually suicidal. Sure, it's a very thin line, but hiding from them is not running reckless into a suicide mission, yet. He has a lot more to lose now, unlike the last time he played the martyr. So, she hopes he will come back, as soon as he thinks it does not endanger them and if the radio helps her getting that message across, then she'll use it.

Surprisingly the Fakedevil discussion, as heated as it was, didn't affect her as much as she feared. Pretending everyone who slammed Daredevil was talking about the other guy helped. And she also had her own anger at him to deal with. So she keeps the discussion quite balanced. They play a clip of the current mayor Cannon calling for Daredevil's arrest and just plain talking like everything he has done so far was a great myth and that the vigilante was made into a hero by the media. He was basically saying that Trish got what she deserved.

She does smile though, when she recognises Betsy's voice among Matt's supporters. It is even more endearing, because she doesn't know about his secret identity. Melvin probably encouraged her and Trish does, too, when she is on air. Betsy is the last caller before she has to wrap the show up.

"I thought I was going to die." Her listeners will think she's talking about Fakedevil - who many believe to actually be Daredevil - storming the building and threatening her. "I would love to say that I had a moment of clarity, then. But I'm torn. I know most people think they are doing or saying the right thing and I might not agree with their decisions or judgements. Still, I see where they are coming from and I respect their motivations. Is this the devil we know and have come to respect?" Trish makes a dramatic pause and she herself is surprised at her confident voice. "I feel this is for a judge to decide, after everything is out in the open. Maybe, if we have heard all the facts, there will be more common ground than we now think. Until then, let's not condemn each other for opinions, no matter if they are based on hope or fear. We just have to remember that those are opinions - nothing more, nothing less."

She honestly hopes that statement is vague enough. Time to speak to him then: "My life was saved by someone, who doesn't have super strength." Just super senses and mad martial art skills. "He does not like me speaking up, when it obviously means I'll become a target. But that is my choice. He also made a promise that he broke for what he thinks is a good reason. Now I just want him to know that he is right to think that I'm furious with him. Still, in case he changes his mind, he also needs to know that my door is still open - always - and I want to forgive, even if I can't forget." Hopefully, enough people tuned in and he received her closing statement.

It was on that roof with Luke and Jessica that she made him promise: "Don't ever try to go and fight Fisk alone. Okay?"

He shook his head. "Not tonight." Then he kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear: "Promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a big shout out to the wonderful Anika_Ann! :) Her Damned series inspired me while I was writing this and it's highly recommended if you haven't read it yet.
> 
> Also, thanks so much to everyone who wrote a comment or left a Kudos! It's a lot more fun with people reacting and making suggestions. I have already started writing a sequel, but I'm still just toying with ideas. So far I only know that I want to start with IGH...


	19. Regret & Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt did consider leaving to do this alone before and he made some arrangements just in case. Jessica & Trish search for Fisk hoping they will run into Daredevil that way.

So, yes, he had a backup plan prepared, some time after Fisk called him and before he took Trish as Hellcat along for the first time. He needed a place to stay if something like this happened. Sure he felt guilty about it, but it was easier to go along with it all knowing he could hide away anytime this backfired and someone got seriously hurt because of him.

It's a crappy place, he just picked it, because nobody is going to ask any questions. The first day he just cleans it up, because the smell is offending his senses. It is not much better than living on the streets, but here he won't be seen. He tries to meditate in the evening when he hears someone in the next building listen to TrishTalk. And as suspected she sounds angry during the discussion. He's glad that she's not taking his side this time, although he can't help feeling like she stabbed him in the gut. If he was a listener he would think standing next to Daredevil when he shot someone could have changed her perspective on things. Maybe getting familiar with his personality really did. And then Betsy is on air and he can hear Trish's voice soften a little. She gently encourages the woman to remind people of his good deeds.

Suddenly he is very aware that she is less angry and more disappointed in him and he feels utterly alone. Anger would be easier to take, letting her down means he's a failure. But then she says she wants to forgive him. Can that be true? Her closing statement - so obviously directed at him - almost tempts him to run back to her. If it weren't for those images of her dying haunting him he certainly would. He'd try to win her trust back. Instead he slumps on his old mattress, completely unable to move for several minutes before he goes out looking for someone to beat up.

The second day goes slightly better. Turns out it is also a huge relief not having to look out for anyone else. He still does check on them, though. Mainly just to make sure that they are indeed safe without him and he's not hiding over nothing like some asshole. So far Fisk didn't try to harm any of them.

Lenny Morano is true to his word and Daredevil doesn't get shot at, but making a deal with the criminal beyond that isn't working, because Fakedevil hasn't shown himself since they talked about him. They both don't see any sense in teaming up like this which is probably why the pseudo vigilante keeps a low profile. Fisk would not want his enemies to join forces and Lenny doesn't have a clue where the Kingpin himself is anyway. Matt thinks he isn't lying, but it's hard to tell.

He can't work as a lawyer, because then they'll find him, so he does other small jobs. He could live on his savings, but then he would not have much left after this is done. Also, Jessica can probably check if he used his credit card and she might find him then. So he takes some odd jobs, where he gets paid in cash or food and he pays in cash for everything he needs. Sometimes the only kind of jobs available are the ones where he has to pretend that he can see. After a week of helping out when people move out of Hell's Kitchen or similar things (he always hears when someone needs help), a solid lead on Fisk emerges. He heard his name being dropped by someone who should to be in contact with him, so he follows the guy and listens. This time he doesn't intervene when there is some shady business going on, but he moves on to the next guy higher up in the syndicate and follows him instead. When he knows where the man lives and he doesn't seem to go anywhere else that night, Matt decides to go back to the streets and blow off some steam. Investigating like this is a lot faster. Dealing with others was very time consuming, not that he didn't enjoy the company.

Sometimes he remembers her words. Sentences like: "My door is still open and I want to forgive." It's serves as a reminder that he can always try to go back, just like his backup plan did before. It's just more difficult to imagine going back the longer he stays away. She said "always".

He really enjoys fighting alone again. Only this way he can really be the man without fear, without worrying about anyone else. Fight without thinking how it may affect others or how their impression of him might change, without anyone calling him out for being reckless or ruthless. He feels free beating up some muggers, using moves he hasn't tried in a while, just to see if he's still able to do them. He feels alive, even if slowly the loneliness is also starting to hang over him like an oddly comforting shadow. It's weird, because at the same time it feels like Trish is with him somehow, a spiritual presence. Right then, that is when he hears her again: "You're going to get yourself killed." And it's not something he remembers her saying. It also sounds scarily like she's standing right there and actually saying it. But he knows she can't be, because there is no soul, no heartbeat or fragrance of her.

The claim sounds eerily truthful as much as he'd like to deny it. His wounds aren't that serious, but inside he is indeed already dying. So after a couple of days, after taking care of a bullet wound on his own, he considers contacting them when he gets close enough to Fisk. Maybe he owes it to himself and them, if they still think he's worth all the headache.

 

* * *

 

The day after Trish's radio show Claire decides to stop by at Jessica's place. "Luke told me what happened."

Jessica leaves the door open without a word. "How is she?"

"She is doing well, considering. I think her brush with death concerns her less than his disappearance." She shrugs her shoulders, obviously annoyed.

"And you?"

"I'm alright. I worry about both of them."

Claire sits down. "And Luke worries about you."

That is a surprise to say the least. "Really?" What has he told her about them?

"He says you're distracting yourself from dealing with your own issues."

Jessica snorts at Claire's honest smile. "It's enough to have Trish analyze the shit out of me. Please don't."

Claire smirks and leans back on her chair.

"Also, this whole drama is not a distraction. It's time consuming and frankly there is too much… emotions involved." She swallows. "I mean, she almost died… And he probably will." She rolls her eyes.

"I don't know about Trish, but it sounds like she knows the dangers better now. And if it is any consolation: Matt has been fighting alone for a while and he is way too stubborn to die."

"I don't know if Trish will be more careful after this." She laughs. "It might be the opposite and I don't know if I could have revived her the last time without his help. But I hope you're right about him. I put too much energy into saving that asshole."

Jessica pours herself a drink and they talk some more about anything but Luke. She likes Claire. The nurse is one of the easiest people to talk to and she would not mind doing it more often if it weren't for the elephant in the room, or in her bed. Well, until she mention him, because Claire is direct that way.

"Luke told me what happened between you."

Jessica looks at her deadpanned.

"I don't want this to hang between us everytime we talk." She smiles, confusing Jessica even more.

"I don't want that either."

"Good." Claire stands up to go. "The moment Matt contacts me about some injury, you'll know." And with that she leaves.

He does not contact her though. Trish and her arrive late to a crime scene one night, Daredevil's modus operandi on display. But there is a path with blood moving away from the alley. He must have covered the wound two roads down, because that's when it stops. Claire has not heard from him, so he might have thought it was not bad enough to risk informing her.

"He would go to her or someone else if there was a life threatening injury. He is not that stupid," Trish tells herself as much as Jessica.

"It might also have been one of the criminals who got away."

When Hellcat isn't forcing her to look for her devil together she isn't sleeping very well. It is as if she's fighting in her sleep sometimes. But Jessica has to admit that Matt's training made an incredible impact. Trish even shows her some moves and after a couple of days she worries a little less about her at least. And maybe Fisk was seriously not having them observed anymore. Of course, he could not have Matt suspect that.

When Jonah calls she immediately is suspicious. The kid is not the best liar and he is scared. It is the kind of fear that suggests that Fisk is standing behind him. Also, there have been so many stupid informants betraying her so far - his own dad being one of them and he sounded just as scared as his son now.

So Jessica pretends to not be involved in the Fisk case anymore and she just offers Jonah to call Brett Mahoney if he finally wants to get out. He won't. But Jessica's interest in him is renewed, so she starts observing him again with Trish by her side. It would be immensely helpful to have their bloodhound with them though, but he is following a different lead that almost leads him to the same place at the same time. They are there a day earlier though and coincidently there is no Fisk around then or anything indicating his presence.

 

* * *

 

It's such a relief that Jessica agrees to take her along in search of Daredevil, since she isn't sleeping that well. Trish keeps dreaming of him roaming the streets. At least that's what she thinks it is, since she "sees" it from his perspective. He even reacts to her voice once, but she forgets about that curious incident after she wakes up. When they come across that crime scene where it looks like someone left bleeding all over the place, she tries not to freak out. She's not sure if she should be glad they didn't find him lying in a dumpster somewhere half dead.

Getting sleep is certainly not easier after that. And when she does it's nightmares of drowning, followed by Matt getting shot and then by parkouring around the city without sight.

Jessica is worried. She's dancing around the subject for days until she finally finds the courage to address what is bothering her: "I know, you're worried about Matt right now, but remember how you almost died?"

"Yes, Jess. What about it?" She tries to sound as casual as possible.

"I don't want you to."

"Me neither."

They glare at each other.

"Look, I'm careful. You said yourself that I've become much better at defending myself, if I have to. I can't just sit at home anymore while you go out there taking all the risks." She doesn't want to lose Jessica either.

"I know. It's just… are you okay?" Jessica looks away. "No near-death-experiences to share?"

"No. I just fell unconscious and then I woke up." Nope, she's not telling her that she was glad it was her and not one of them. "Disappointed?" Trish raises one eyebrow and that earns her a chuckle.

"I mean, I thought I lost you… And I was so scared that I could hurt you." The last sentence is mumbled and Trish almost doesn't catch it.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You saved my life….!"

Jessica looks down at the floor. "No, he did. I couldn't. I thought maybe if I pushed too hard…"

Trish can not believe what she is hearing. "What?! You pulled me out of the water. You saved my life." She hugs her fiercely. "I would have hesitated, too, if I was as strong as you. Don't feel bad about this, please."

How did she not see this bothering her adopted sister and best friend. She was too focused on Matt's disappearance that she didn't even notice that Jessica was much more affected by this than she appeared to be. Of course she was. She should not have taken her for granted, so that evening Trish decides to drink with her until she falls asleep - which she does, much earlier than the previous days.

This time she dreams of Jessica diving for her and Matt's not there, but eventually it again leads towards jumping across rooftops. There is just no fight. After a while she realises that she or he is following someone. She can hear someone say: "We caught Miss Jones and some other freak on the cameras yesterday. We should move again."

The answer comes from a voice she'll never forget, but it's still a dream so she's not aware enough to recognise it. "Tomorrow we will."

A call wakes her up in the middle of the night and she picks it up clumsily, greeting the crazy person still half asleep: "What...?" Her dream is wiped from her mind completely.

"I found him. He's…-" Just when her brain realises that it's Matt's voice and that he's actually calling them - her heart making a joyful jump - she hears strange noises and the call is disconnected. She's left staring at her phone, with horror scenarios immediately taking shape in her mind.


	20. Five Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what happened to Matt and what the election has to do with anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the part where things get a bit ugly. There is some violence ahead, but I'm not going to go into detail... certainly not as much as the shows would.

Trish calls Jessica as soon as she's over the initial shock. But since they have no clue where he could be or where he wanted to go, there is nothing they can do. So after listening to her distress for half an hour Jess decides to go over and keep her some company for the night. And while her presence is comforting it is still impossible for Trish to shut her eyes. She has slept for one hour the, repeatedly waking up from nightmares before Foggy calls Jessica. And she can tell that he's freaking out. "Dude, calm down and send me the link."

Trish sees her sister is trying hard to concentrate. To say she is no morning person would be an understatement, but she sobers up fast listening to whatever Foggy is panicking about. In fact she looks like she is close to smashing the phone against the wall. Instead she powers up her laptop. "Yeah, I knew. Sorry." Jessica rubs her forehead. "Trish received a call from him last night and it got interrupted. But we kind of hoped he got away."

That does not sounds reassuring at all, so Trish holds her breath staring at Jessica, studying her facial expression and waiting for her to break the news to her. She expects the worst, so naturally when the call is finished without her receiving any hint of what is happening, Trish grabs Jessica's arm to remind her that she's waiting. "Please, what's going on...?! Is he….?"

Her response is a pained head shake with a cryptical reply: "We don't know."

Then a video starts buffering and - fuck - there he is. Chained to a wall, naked except for his mask and underpants. Why did they leave the mask on? Should she be watching this? It twists her stomach to see Matt "Daredevil" Murdock like this. He's supposed to go out as a hero saving someone. Not like this.

"It's definitely him isn't it…?" Jessica wants her to confirm the obvious. Of course, it's him. But someone could try to fake it for clicks with the mask and the bad quality of the video. Only seeing this right after his call was disconnected makes it very probable that this is really happening. Foggy would not recognise the man after he got crushed by a whole building and put back together. Even his older scars were messed up by that. So Trish nods slowly, clearly not wanting it to be true, but recognising the prominent scars marking his body now. There is no way anyone else would know where they are. Except for Elektra probably...

They are going to kill him or if the video is online... whatever they are seeing already happened. Jessica just needed to know that it really is him. Trish starts to panic terrified of what she is about to witness, but she can't look away either. "He's dead, isn't he?" Her voice is barely audible.

"What? No. Not yet at least. We hope." She stops the video when a woman with a ski mask enters the frame. "You probably don't want to watch this. I can tell you what happens later."

"Play it." Trish stares at the screen, frightened of her own sudden stubbornness. She really does not want to watch, but she has to.

"Trish…"

"Play it for fuck's sake."

With a deep sigh Jess makes the screen move again.

"Hi! You've probably figured out who this is behind me." The woman speaks with a disgustingly cheery voice. "Daredevil. The one and only." She walks over to him picking up a torture instrument on the way and Jess takes her sister's hand. "We'll get him back. I promise."

Before the woman brushes with her fingers over his abs teasingly Trish can see Matt steel himself for whatever is coming. "What do you want from me?" His voice is pitched unrecognizably low and he even sounds a little bored which is kind of delightful despite the circumstances. He has not given up. That's good. They shouldn't either then.

"I just want to play a little."

That's when the woman starts to make him bleed until he screams in agony and Trish looks away, not able to take this. But she can hear him encourage the creepy woman and rile her up. He even achieves to sound rather cocky and is actually laughing it all off whenever he is able to catch his breath. Trish can hear Jess whistle after what feels like a very long time.

"Your man is certainly a lot tougher than he looks." She's trying to lighten the mood, but all Trish can offer in response is hysterical laughter. "And he already looks… well, dangerous." There is an appreciative tone in her voice that makes Trish snort disbelievingly.

"Jess, not the time….!" She knows Jessica is just trying to distract her and calm her down, but it's not working.

"Well, I won't be able to comment on it after this. I thought he had the whole sweet lawyer next door by day, tortured badass by night thing going for him, but I never really saw it. Also, I can't have you put your head in the sand and cry all day, when we gotta rescue your hottie." Jess smiles and she appears to be genuinely hopeful.

"You think we can? Rescue him?" She doesn't dare to hope, but Jessica's casual evalution of her boyfriend while someone is hurting him kind of makes her. She wouldn't be joking if she didn't think there was a chance.

"Wait for it…"

And right on cue the woman stops to put her hand on Matt's cheek. "I think we'll have a lot of fun together."

She intends to drag this out then. And immediately there is his trademark smug smile. "Oh, you won't have fun anymore when I'm done with you."

She chuckles and slaps him playfully, turning back to the camera. "If you want to see Daredevil unmasked: Vote Anand Chopra on the election in five days."

Trish gasps audibly and Jess turns to her raising her eyebrows. "See? We have five days. That's plenty."

While Jessica watches the video again and again for clues using headphones to muffle the screams, Trish prepares some food. She barely gets anything into her stomach already dreading her next talk that will have to be about Daredevil yet again. It's all over the news and after he became an even more controversial figure following Fakedevil's appearances his supporters have become quieter.

It's Chopra's first interview around noon that tips the balance in the devil's favor. This is by far his most engaging speech or maybe she's just a bit more invested in the topic.

"We can't let terrorists decide our elections. Ever. And that's what these are: Terrorists. They are threatening a hostage with violence - maybe even death - and that should never be tolerated in a democracy. I condemn this and I am appalled by the suggestion that I could be involved in any of it." He makes a dramatic pause and actually seems truly disturbed by the thought, looking like a ghost. But why would anyone else ask people to vote for him? "The police is investigating this case full time and they are going to find these people before the election. Then we'll see how the voters decide. The Devil of Hell's Kitchen should get a proper trial. But we won't forget what he did for this city either, what he sacrificed and how much he had to suffer." He looks down then. When he faces the cameras again his gaze is stern. "Vote Anand Chopra, but only if you share my vision of a better and safer Kitchen and not to see a man exposed who deserves justice like all of us." He then walks away fast dodging all the questions that are thrown his way. Some are accusing him, others are asking him if he thinks this is a conspiracy by his opponent trying to give him a bad name.

Jessica looks deeply concerned, so Trish wants to know what she is thinking. "I really don't know anymore. It's not a very subtle strategy to win an election, is it? And he has been all about subtlety so far."

"Yeah, I mean, if he's behind this, he's a pretty good actor. But he is our best lead, isn't he?" Starting to form some kind of approach to their investigation makes Trish focus a little. She has to be calm.

"It could be deranged supporters of his as well." Jessica's suggestion makes sense, especially with him so much behind in the polls. But it doesn't explain why they caught Daredevil for this and how.

"I still think Fisk has to be involved. He said he found him after all." She'll never forget that call.

"Maybe he ran right into him and Fisk is now somehow taking the highest bid for revealing Daredevil's identity."

It sure stinks of Fisk that the reveal is made into a disgusting spectacle and a public show of humiliating the man who put him behind bars.

 

* * *

 

Trish is trying hard to put up a calm front, but Jessica can see that not much is needed to make the facade crumble. So she keeps her busy. Fortunately after Chopra's speech - and she still does not know what to make of him - there are slowly more and more voices supporting their local vigilante. People are coming out saying that they don't want to know who he is and that they want him freed, no matter what. Even people who don't care about politics are suddenly talking about this election. Chopra's rival John Cannon, of course, argues that it can't be a coincidence that this happens when he's leading in the race. He tries to draw the attention back to the candidates and whines about fairplay, but in vain. Trish looks quite disgusted watching the man. "Nobody wants to hear about your shitty policies now." She shakes her head. "Chopra may not have convincing ideas about how to pull Hell's Kitchen out of the gutter, but believe me, that guy has already made it much worse. He made anger and contempt grow between communities."

Jessica mulls over her reaction. "Would you vote for him if it would save Matt's life?"

Trish is clearly taken aback by the question. "No! I mean, if there was no difference between these two, yes. But I can't let everything go to hell to save one man, even if I want to…" She closes her eyes. "Jesus, Jess, don't give me a choice like that."

"Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out who profits here and so far I only see one man." Then she has another thought. "Do you think Chopra could have been behind Matt's copy?"

Trish considers this. "I would not have thought of that. But I think it's unlikely to be honest. Okay, he was no fan of vigilante justice, but he did understand the necessity. He just wants to change the city, so it doesn't need people like Daredevil anymore."

"I think Fakedevil is among the people holding him. At one point I heard him say: Why don't you let that poor imitation of me take over."

Her eyes widen. "Oh, I didn't get that." 

"It was difficult to understand between his moans. But I think he made a point of saying it."

Trish sighs in frustration. "Do you know which building Fakedevil used to vanish in?"

Jessica smiles. "Yes. We should pick that place apart."

"Turn every stone." Trish nods.

Jessica picks up the phone to give someone a call and Trish's mouth falls open when she asks: "Frank?"

"I've been waiting for your call."

"If you promise to bend to Saint Matthews's rules, we could really use your help in finding out who is hurting him."

"Anything you need, Karen has been bugging me for hours. I think she actually wants to see people die over this..."

"But he doesn't… I think..."

"You're the boss. So, where do we meet?"

Frank Castle, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones and Trish Walker meet up next to their targeted building. Time to get some answers. It's mostly made of offices, surprisingly. So at first they don't encounter any criminals.

"This looks like someone is laundering money." Going through files and papers Jessica doesn't find anything connected to the fake devil. But he certainly used this as a base and they must have known about it, so she keeps digging. In one room they still find two employees and another one flees down the stairs like he's running for his life. Trish runs after one of them and when she comes back she's out of breath. "I think he is going to call someone."

Jessica looks back at her. "Is this your new sense working?" Seeing her nod Jessica starts scanning the files faster.

"I say we wait for the clean up crew and ask them some questions." Castle holds up his gun, probably disappointed that he didn't get to use it so far.

"And if nobody bothers chasing us out of here, there is nothing to find anyway." Luke shrugs his big shoulders and looks out at the streets.

After five minutes sure enough there is a small army storming the offices and a wicked smile graces the Punisher's lips. "Guess we're on the right track after all."

Suddenly they see a grenade being thrown in through a window. Frank is already running there to get rid of it in time, but Trish's mind is faster. Before it can explode and bury them under debris she mentally makes it float back out without anyone having to touch it. All they feel is the heat of that explosion outside the building. Frank just stares at them for a confused moment and then walks over to the window to stop some more men from entering.

Luke is on his way to go outside. "I'll welcome the ones who got in. Lock the door behind me."

"Should I go with you?" Trish starts to go after him, but Luke stops her. "No. You should stay here, in case they try to burn the evidence again with another grenade." And with that he's gone and Trish locks the door.

They wait while Jessica searches through all the files and desks as fast as she can. Finally in a hidden corner she finds the Daredevil costume and a box. Together with Trish she looks through the content.

"I think I've got something useful. It's a map of the entire city and a list of locations outside. I think I see some areas Fakedevil has been attacking." There are different colors used to indicate something.

Frank doesn't seem to find anyone outside anymore, so he takes a look and points his finger at a place on the map. "I saw him here. It's where Lenny's cousin was dealing. He was killed two roads down."

When they hear movement behind the door, Frank walks over there. Suddenly there is an explosion ripping the whole wall open and throwing Frank to the floor. Jessica and Trish immediately take on the attackers, defending their evidence and soon Luke also joins them again knocking the last one out from behind. Trish helps the Punisher up who is still shooting her one calculating look. "Are you ok?" He nods silently.

Since no one else seems to be coming, Jessica goes back over to the map and fills Luke in. "Okay I'm studying this, maybe there is a place on here where they could be holding him." There are certainly a lot of marks she could work through.

"I'm checking out the docks tonight." Luke points at a highlighted area. "If I see anything fishy, I'll send you a text."

Castle also looks at it again. "I'm taking this factory. Maybe we're lucky."

There are so many marks with some bigger territories that they won't be able to do search them all in five days, even if they split up and ask Danny and Colleen - they couldn't reach them this night - for help.

So, they agree that Jessica and Trish are going to come up with a strategy and the next day everyone gets a list of locations to search in a particular order.

 

* * *

 

He has slept a couple of hours when he slowly becomes aware of his restraints again. Matt starts to struggle, but it's no use against the handcuffs. Since he can't move much, he should probably meditate. Then he hears something he does not expect: "Matt...?" Trish's voice wakes him up completely, but he can't smell or sense her anywhere near. His senses are messed up and shut down from the torture, but he's still pretty sure he would have noticed if she was there. And it's not even the first time he just hears her voice out of nowhere. "Trish? Where are you?"

There is a short silence before he can hear her say: "I think I'm in your head…?" As unlikely as this sounds, sure enough he thinks he can feel her presence there again. It would explain some things. "It feels like I can see the room now the way you 'see' it, but I can't make sense of it." As weird as this is: Why not indulge the fantasy? There are more than enough dark thoughts in his head.

Matt smiles against his better judgement. "It's good to hear your voice. Even if it is just my imagination playing a trick on me." But hearing her also makes him think of his promise. "I'm so sorry that I left like that. You deserved so much better."

She doesn't answer at first, as if she did not expect his apology.

"What I deserve doesn't matter. You on the other hand..." Her voice sounds broken. "All I'm asking for right now is for you to focus on helping me." He laughs, because how could he help her in this situation? The fact that she doesn't sound angry at all also convinces him that this can't be real anyway.

"Please tell me if there is anything you know about your surroundings?"

Okay, if this was really happening, this would definitely be what she would ask of him. He is going to humour her or maybe himself, so he concentrates as much as he can in his condition. It's not like he has anything better to do. Also this could help him think of something he wants them to know. "There is a forest around the building and there seems to be a highway close by." After a moment he rattles down a list of some animals and plants he can hear or smell in the area. He's not used to being around nature, so this is difficult. After a while it all gets too fuzzy, so he gives up on it.

"I can feel your injuries, somehow." Well, there is no point in pretending that he's fine then.

"We'll find you. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried about me. It's Fisk's stupid election farce that is pissing me off." He is furious that Anand Chopra would stoop this low and work with criminals like that, just because he can't get the voters behind him.

Suddenly he hears unmistakable footsteps outside. Imagined or not, this is not something he wants her to witness in any form. "Please go, he's coming." There's no answer from her, when the door opens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Matt. With the torture and it being very public things are definitely going to get dark. That's the main reason for the rating, but I also just wanted to be on the safe side. I usually hate storylines like that, so everything that happens to him will just be very vague and we won't even get his perspective as much. I just basically wanted to push the martyr thing to an extreme and see how everyone reacts.  
> At least he changed his mind before and called, right? :)


	21. Four Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new video surfacing ruins their plans to find the place where they are holding Daredevil. Jessica and Luke offer Lenny Morano a deal and Trish wants to shut the internet up.

Trish wakes up from her weird dream with a start and tears in her eyes. After Matt told her to go, apparently anticipating another round of torture, she felt like she was drowning again. Hearing his voice fade out from underwater she soon ended up in a surreal world with giant pigeons wearing hats whom she asked for Jessica, because she needed to tell her something urgently. Could this conversation with him have been real or was that just her mind torturing her? Doesn't she have some kind of psychic powers now? Trish scribbles down some of the clues he gave her just in case and decides to take them into account while they form their plan.

When she opens up her browser the first thing she sees is news about a new hostage video and the headlines don't bode well for them. She sends Jessica a message asking her if she has seen it already and moments later the PI opens the door to her room.

"Promise me, you won't do anything stupid." Trish blinks at her command.

"When have I ever done something stupid?" She manages to smile sheepishly despite the nervousness in her voice. They have a solid plan now, whatever it is they still have four days left.

"I'd say flirting with the devil when his biggest enemy was about to be released and threatened everyone close to him was pretty stupid. But what do I know? I'm a functioning alcoholic." Jess shrugs.

"In my defense: He was impossible to resist and I love trouble. So, what's new?"

Jessica motions for her to sit, suddenly more serious. "Okay, don't… we'll find him somehow."

Trish's concern grows after that. Didn't they come up with a good strategy yesterday? "Just say it!"

Jessica takes a deep breath. "This time we think Fakedevil was torturing him. He showed him pictures of what we did last night, told him that we killed to save him."

"That's not true!" Trish starts to protest, but Jessica holds up a hand to indicate that there is more.

"He knows that. Matt not only could not have seen the pictures, he also can feel that the man is lying, remember?" So that is not the bad part. But she's getting to it. "At the end he warned if we go anywhere near one of his buildings again, they'll kill him."

That means the next place they pick to look for him has to be it. "Crap."

There is more: "He also said if even one of us surrenders and goes back to the place we raided yesterday… That he'll let him live after the election."

Fuck. She really didn't see this coming. Of course, they know, it is a fake promise, designed to make Matt feel guilty. Fisk really knows how to twist the knife and that physical pain may be less effective on their hostage.

"He's trying the same tactics on us that got him caught. He'll never let him live."

Jessica sits down next to her. "I agree." She clenches her fists. "We'll have to be smarter than that."

Trish knows this, but it means that they are almost back to the beginning.

"The places Luke and Frank checked out yesterday were actually areas controlled by the Moranos now. We think if we can rule out their regions, that might narrow it down quite a lot. Fisk won't hold him too close to his enemies. Also, Matt said he's in the woods on the video. It might be a hint. There are several markings in forests or parks. I think they took him way out of Hell's Kitchen." Trish realises that this weirdly matches with what she learned in her dream.

"So, what next?"

Jessica smiles. "According to Luke Matt was going to make a deal with Lenny. We're going to pay the man a visit."

With his abductors now officially threatening to kill him or forcing his allies to surrender the majority of the public wants to see Daredevil saved. They call for his friends to sacrifice themselves, not caring what that would do to him, or they put pressure on the police. Very few of them admit it, but it becomes clear that most of them would like to know who he is. Some argue having him die in anonymity would not honor his efforts and that his family should know and be proud of who he was, some say the opposite, because it was his choice to wear a mask and they should respect his wishes. But most of them are just curious. You see it on their faces and read it between the lines. They will vote Chopra on election day, especially now that Daredevil will definitely live or die no matter what. The people he rescued will want to know who their saviour was, the ones he beat up will want to know, too. And maybe take revenge if he's still alive then. It's most likely that people would vote for Cannon if someone surrenders and saves him to protect his identity. But for that they still have to believe that he will be kept alive.

While Jessica goes to Lenny with Luke, Trish studies their map and the other information they picked up. Should they be sharing this with the police now? Even if he's arrested in the end, that's still better than dead and since he has public support at the moment his sentence might not even be as bad. Of course the people could change their mind again any moment. Then she finds the house they observed together on the list among the map. Could he have gone there to investigate? But there is no forest around that area, so she doesn't think they are holding him there. Researching the different forests, the plants and animals turns out very difficult. To get further with that, she'll have to find some expert and even then it depends on if she actually talked to him in her dream and if he did interpret all the noises and smells right.

After a while she's back to reading online comments and some are really disturbing. There are actually quite a few saying that he looks like he's enjoying the pain. Some are judging him and others find it all way too fascinating. There are even gifs and memes going around and Trish has to shut down her browser, because she can't take it anymore at some point. Even glimpses of him smiling despite the pain make her stomach turn. He is certainly not enjoying this.

 

* * *

 

Lenny Morano is not surprised when Jessica and Luke enter his office. He is in the middle of putting one of his dealers in his place who may just be the dumbest fuck to ever get fucked. When the kid leave the room the two Defenders share an amused look.

"We should probably tell the police about this one... or his parents…"

Lenny just shrugs at Luke's suggestion. "Be my guest, but his parents don't care where his money comes from. They are just glad he gets employed by someone… I'll just find another hopeless idiot to exploit." He grins and then he gestures at two chairs on the other side of his desk.

"Can we talk alone?" Jessica tilts her head at one of Lenny's assassins who looks like a character from a video game with a huge scar across his cheek, a hat and a long black coat.

"Tuck, can you wait outside, but stay close? I think these fine people are here to ask for my help. They won't kill me." The dude shows some dimples while smiling and bows his head before swaggering out in style.

When the door is closed, Lenny starts talking: "I know why you're here. I saw the videos. It's a shame that he'll die now, it really is. I do like his attitude." Lenny laughs, immediately sobering up, when he sees Jessica's unimpressed expression. "But I'm not gonna lie, I think he would have been more dangerous to us if he was targeting us instead of his copy. So, what is it you want from me and what do I get in return?"

Jessica likes that the man gets right to business. She can see why he's the head of the Morano clan. "If you really think about it, you would prefer dealing with one man rather than Fisk and his cronies as well as us. You've heard of the Defenders?"

Lenny tilts his head in a calculating gesture. "Miss Jones, super strong PI, Luke Cage, unbreakable hero of Harlem and I think there is another dude calling himself immortal something... I've done my homework, yes. You're saying, you'll leave me alone, if I help you save my own future enemy?" He raises one eyebrow on his last words.

Luke confirms the offer: "Yes, I offer to stay in Harlem, Jessica has other priorities and you won't have to worry about the Iron Fist either. We can't talk for Daredevil, but he isn't the kind to ask for help anyway."

That makes Lenny laugh. "He is going to be a real pain in my ass even if I help you, isn't he?"

But he seems to be considering it, although Jessica wouldn't trust him. She has to really make sure that he is going to profit from this deal. "Lenny, I'm going to be frank with you. We'll make your life hell if you choose to cross us, or decide not to help us. But if you do, there is a lot to gain: The false devil is the one holding the real one. We'll bring him to you to take revenge for your cousin." That certainly has his attention. "You won't have to worry about Fisk after this. And I think you'll prefer going up against a man who won't kill your family or employees, no matter what." She leans on the desk. "And I am pretty sure you actually care about the losers who work for you. That's why they are so loyal. There is just one guy among your people who'd betray you and he's being paid by Fisk." Jessica pauses for effect. "I'm only gonna tell you who that is after we have freed Daredevil."

There is a long silence, then Lenny Morano nods and smiles. "What do you want?"

Luke lays the map down on the table. "Tell us which of these are the areas you control."

Lenny takes the map in frowning. "Where did you get this?"

"At the building Fakedevil used as a base."

Lenny sighs. "You have convinced me. I'll give you even more than you ask. I can eliminate 90% of these potential hiding spots and I can even help you narrow it down to one." Now it's Jessica's and Luke's turn to be stunned. "You can't risk going near any of these locations, but my guys can."

Jessica then understands that this is what he wanted all along. "You planned to do this anyway. Why…?"

"Because he saved my life during that last shoot out. I was disappointed when I didn't get to make a deal with him before this and I think, even as an enemy he'll be kinda fun." He's trying for a charming smile, but really it just looks sneaky. Luke lets out a short chuckle, not believing his ears.

Jessica shakes Lenny's offered hand. "Also, I suspected that we have a mole. I'll go over this with my right hand and I'll give you an update as soon as possible."

They leave the building in silence. When they're one block away Jessica wonders: "I don't even think he's playing us to be honest. Not this time at least…"

"Well, at least you had some good arguments to keep him from crossing us."

 

* * *

 

Trish is breathing heavily from kissing him while she has him pinned to the ground. When she touches one of his wounds he hisses from the pain.

"I've made you bleed..."

"Don't worry about it."

He laughs and rolls her over taking her position and making her moan in pleasure. Her hands roam over his back while his lips find her neck. She tilts her head back closing her eyes and moving her hips with his.

When she opens her eyes again she sees that her left hand is soaked in his blood. And his hands aren't held back by hers, but they are chained on both sides, both arms covered in little cuts. But he's still moving, still kissing her eagerly. When they break apart they are both gasping for air leaning their heads against each other.

"I'm dying."

"No, Matt, you can't. Promise me that you won't."

He slowly closes his eyes and his head becomes heavier and heavier as if he's falling unconscious soon. "No! Please, you have to fight!" Her bloody hand frames his cheek gently and he smiles breathing his last breath. When she holds her right hand up, there is a knife in it with red liquid dripping from it.

Trish wakes up with a start, her hand covering her mouth in shock and disgust. Running to the bathroom to throw up the situation is finally catching up with her. She might not have seen much of it, but her imagination is coming up with all kinds of ways they might be torturing him in her dreams. And the worst part is, after reading all those comments about him liking it, she's picturing him enjoying it as well and herself hurting him, which disturbs her even more.

She sits down next to the toilet, hugging her legs to her chest and trying hard to remember the morning after their last night together. She thinks of his sweet smile and lazy kisses, banning all the blood from her mind. But it takes over again and again until she starts sobbing quietly, clenching her fists. There is a desperate urge to give herself up in that moment. Only they would probably just kill her in front of him and that would make it even worse.

 

* * *

 

Matt prepares himself for the next round of torture when he hears footsteps approaching his room. This time it's both of them - Fakedevil and the woman - entering with four more guards standing outside. The woman points her mobile camera at him while Fakedevil positions himself in the frame, right in front of him. Another video means a new message, means more opportunities for him to hide clues.

"We've got something different in store for you today."

That's exactly what he feared to hear after the message in the last video. He tried not to think about it. Suppressing his incoming panic he feels this can only mean two things: One of the others surrendered or got caught somehow. He doesn't think they'd actually kill him before the election. They might need proof of life at some point. It doesn't make sense to set all this up and not go through with it. Still they could kill one of them.

"I think you already know what this means." Matt can make out his particularly pleased smile under the ski mask, as if this is a personal victory for that man. "Bring her in!"

The door opens and now he becomes desperately aware that it's actually three guards entering the room and one cuffed prisoner with a familiar scent and a low heart rate.

"Not again…" He finally feels utterly defeated.


	22. Three Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Elektra... Trish needs some time to let this video sink in and maybe even more time to mull over Matt's reaction later. In the meantime she takes some risks herself.

Elektra walks into the room like she owns the place despite being their new hostage. "In my defense. This wasn't my plan at all. I knew they'd never let you live, even exposed, if I surrendered." With confident strides she moves in front of him. She takes his still masked face in her hands. "Was going to kill them all viciously for what they did to you."

His sigh is resigned. There is not much any of them can do now that they have to face the inevitable, except spill more blood. "Don't… please..."

"You know, thanks to you your friends think that I can't be trusted." There is an edge in her voice that hints at a hidden meaning. "You probably even threw away my number."

He opens his mouth and moves his head to the side, thinking about that. She has nothing to lose, so maybe he should go with her plan. Maybe he should let them know that Elektra actually can help. Trish sure thought so. She is still not going to like any of this. She was nervous every time his ex was mentioned. "I always trusted you." Not really. Elektra's smile at that looks wicked. But will they trust him after this? Would she trust him?

"I get it. I'm a bad girl. But all I ever really wanted was to keep you save, even if I can't have you." Her kiss to his helmet makes tears form in his eyes. Soon they mingle with sweat under the mask. After everything they have been through it always comes down to death and destruction. He always believed that she can do good and in the end she always did. She died for him, saved him from a collapsing building and now she tried to save him again. There has always been a special place in his heart for her and he regrets that he couldn't do more to help her. 

"I guess, we're just destined to be each other's death." There's a humourless chuckle leaving his lips and her hand gently covers his mouth.

"No. Not this time." She shakes her head. "This time I'm giving my life for yours…" Again. And the one time he wanted to return the favor she also ended up saving him. Elektra is trying to make a show of this and make the others understand who they really are. Maybe this will help Trish forget about him, too, if he'll never get out of this. And he also doesn't want her to end up in one of those videos.

Elektra then walks away again and whispers knowing that he'll hear it: "Play along and they'll see."

Then she faces the camera. "...but first I'm at least gonna take a bunch of those bastards with me." After that she attacks and shots are fired.

 

* * *

 

There is a cut to Elektra - barely alive - walking towards Matt who appears to be in great distress, either because she is dying or because everyone else is. The camera is shaking now and she looks back at it with a smile on her bloody lips.

"You will save him. Vote for Chopra." She then stumbles forwards until she finally leans on Matt, her hand stroking his side, not really gentle with his injuries which makes him flinch a little. Then her trembling lips brush against his.

"I hope you can forgive me." And fuck him, he responds by kissing back his crazy ex desperately until she bites his lip and he smiles.

"I will be with you soon." He knows he's on camera and he even looks straight at it when he says that, while Elektra slowly loses consciousness and slides down his body, smearing even more blood on him and mumbling: "I'm sorry." It's all very dramatic.

Jessica picks up her laptop and knocks on the door to Trish's room. Her "come in" is almost too quiet to hear.

"Okay… this one you've got to see." But Trish looks so miserable that her sister asks if she needs a coffee first.

"No, show it to me now, in case I get sick. I wasn't able to sleep much." Without any further comment, Jessica plays the video for her. Trish reluctantly watches the whole scene unfold and takes him kissing Elektra a lot better than she should. At least they aren't hurting him physically for once. Still, it's the first time that he actually appears weak and helpless on any of those videos.

After watching it Trish slumps back on the bed, her eyes looking at the ceiling. "She died for him AGAIN?"

Jessica snorts. "He also kissed that bitch."

Trish swallows. "I'm aware. They're a bit much, aren't they?" Then she suddenly laughs.

"What do you mean…?" Jessica rolls her eyes. She doesn't want him to get away with his shitty behaviour that easily. Just because the woman is finally dead. Hopefully. And then he even assures her that he'll follow her, which makes Jessica more mad than it makes her sad.

"Well, he says here that he always trusted her which isn't true at all. And they talk as if it's the first time she died for him. It isn't." She sighs and Jessica frowns at Trish. "There is a hidden message in there."

And he looked straight at the camera when he said he'd be with her soon, not at Elektra. Could this mean…? Maybe this was directed at Trish? That he can tell where exactly the camera is, also is kind of baffling. All this makes the detective's mouth falls open. "How can you be more objective about this than I am…?! Seriously….!"

"Well, I'm not a fan of this, believe me. But those two have history and he's made it very clear that it's not a good one, although it's obviously intense." Her sister swallows. "I'll just have to confront him about it later."

"Okay, let's make that coffee then. I also received an email from Lenny. There are still a couple of big areas left, but he has helped us narrow it down a great deal so far. Maybe tomorrow we'll have a place and if we're not sure a hundred percent, we can wait one more day maybe…"

The coffee machine starts rumbling and Trish puts a cup under it, not really there yet. "They record the videos before they put them online. So far it seems like they are doing it day by day. They knew about us searching those offices at least. Doesn't mean, they'll wait for our actions all the time. They could kill him any time…"

When did Trish become the pessimistic one of them? And she appears way too analytical about it all. Jessica tries to sound as convincing as possible, when she offers a more positive perspective: "No, they like taunting him with our moves. I think we're clear until the last day, unless we go for the wrong location, then they could just record the rest of the videos and we'll just find out on the last day. We are a part of this game already."

"What about the Morano guy? Do you trust him? Could his informant tell Fisk that he is helping us?"

Those were all very valid concerns, but luckily, Jessica thought about them. "I would be an idiot to trust him, but I gave him plenty of reasons to help. He wouldn't be doing it if he didn't want to, though. It's weird." Jessica figures even with being on different sides of the law and with his moral flexibility, Lenny seems to be intrigued by Daredevil. "I'll give him the name of his mole when we got Matt out and I cleared the people he wanted to include in this."

Trish takes a sip from her coffee mulling this over. "I think that's enough for me." Enough for what, Jessica thinks, but doesn't ask.

 

* * *

 

So, they don't have a lot to go on. Even their map and the other hints are pretty much a shot in the dark, if they are being honest. But this is all they have and it is better than nothing, probably better than her strange clues from a conversation that could have been a dream. So instead of following those Trish decides to call Elektra's number after all as soon as Jessica leaves for Lenny. She doesn't need to know if it's nothing and she also has enough to do to put that other plan into motion.

Trish holds her breath as she saves the number in her contact list and dials. After a couple of seconds someone picks up and she hears a woman's voice. "Who is this?" It's not the cheery one from the videos.

"Hi, this is Trish Walker from TrishTalk." Why the hell did she say that?! "We are doing a random survey about Daredevil's kidnapping. Would you be interested in offering an opinion…?" Trish closes her eyes, not really knowing what to expect. But Elektra wanted to save Matt and she wanted her to call this number. It was worth a shot, right?

"That is actually your voice. I know your mother." There is a dreadful pause. "So, you want to save Mr. Murdock's life now?" A very cold shower chases another after those words. This could be another ploy to confront Matt with a death he would feel responsible for. Her death.

"I do." It's just a call. She's not offering herself up. No.

"Meet me in two hours. I'll send you an address."

She could just not go. She could give this to Jessica or anyone else really. She didn't even use a different name and she felt incredibly stupid about it.

Then again: Her instinct told her, cards on the table earns her trust and that could just be the key to convincing this woman whoever she is to help.

In the two hours she has to decide she tries to look at this from all possible angles. It screams trap. Yet, this woman could just have called her to leave a hook like that. Or maybe they just didn't believe she's be that stupid. The tone of her voice sure was one of surprise at first and determination later. But she did not sound vindictive or pleased as if something she wanted was offered to her on a silver platter. The address is a very public café which is a good sign at least, so after a while Trish realises she has to check it out. But she takes a wig with her and she decides to dress in a very unflattering manner. Nobody ever recognises her like that.

She is there twenty minutes early and just waits in a corner checking out everyone who enters closely, concentrating hard on their emotions. It's hard to differentiate day to day stress from a meeting like hers she thinks. After a while she feels everyone seems to kind of pretend that they're in a life or death situation.

But ten minutes before the right time a woman enters with less focus on a quick order and more concern for a good seat with a good view of the door. She looks quite collected, but she feels on edge, worried even. Trish can sympathise. And when she recognises her she's actually stunned. This woman is not making eye contact with anyone outside. To test something she sends her a message that she'll be there five minutes earlier. She watches her reply and close the phone again, without contacting anyone else. Good sign. Okay, she is going to take this risk then, on instinct. Trish slides into the chair opposite Vanessa, pretending to have a weapon in her jacket pocket. She actually has one of her sleeping arrows in the other one and she carefully aims it registering a shock from the woman in front of her.

"Are you alone….?"

Vanessa nods. She reacts fast, probably too fast to lie. "Are you?"

"Yes, for now. But I can alarm my bodyguard any moment. She is not far away."

"Me, too." Vanessa raises one eyebrow, clearly trying to calm down. "Nobody knows I'm here and I have thirty minutes to get back, so we have to make this quick." She sure is in a hurry.

"Believe me, I don't want to drag this out either."

"So, why do you want to save Matt Murdock so badly that you called an unknown number his homicidal ex girlfriend provided you with...?" After a moment she adds, like an afterthought: "Yes, I got her hint as well. Was waiting for someone to try again."

"Am I right to assume, you got Elektra in? Got her killed?" This doesn't make any sense.

After a displeased grunt Fisk's better half elaborates: "She promised me she'd spare Wilson. I want to go away with him, away from Hell's Kitchen. Staying hidden like this, even in luxury, is no life for me. And then there is this stupid vendetta with Daredevil, that is not good for him either. We'll never be able to live here in peace now." Vanessa releases one angry sigh. Poor her. "I did not get her caught. I thought she'd try to kill him the moment she did. And she proved to be even more vicious than that brutal man you are trying to save." Her distaste for him is evident on her face. "Calls himself a hero…."

Vanessa watches her intently now.

"You know, I get it. You're in love. That clouds anyone's judgment. I was fascinated by Daredevil way before I really got to know him. But he's no hero. He's just a man trying to make this city better, like yours. I'm not denying he's also spilled some blood in the process and he's put your husband in prison." Trish's words are carefully chosen and she thinks there is one thing she has to make her see. "But Matt never killed anyone and Fisk is the one who will never leave him alive, who will never let him go. You're going to have to decide if that monster of yours is truly worthy of your love and loyalty." Her words certainly made an impact, but it's hard to tell if it is a good or a bad one.

"You think your man deserves yours? Even after seeing him with Elektra?" That hits a nerve and Vanessa notices her reaction. But Trish recovers quickly.

"You wouldn't ask me that if you knew him. What he deserves is a fucking break, but he wouldn't even let himself catch one." Trish dares to laugh then and Vanessa eyes her suspiciously.

"When you called, I thought… maybe I'd be able to resolve all this in a civilised manner, but then you show up with a gun..."

Trish stands up slowly and shows her empty pockets, her arrow under the table still being held by her focused mind. Vanessa nods. "You will hear from me." She then walks out of the café and throws one last scared look over her shoulder. Then she hurries out. The arrow immediately falls to the ground and Trish rubs her throbbing head. Two minutes later, she picks up her weapon and leaves as well, getting less paranoid the more distance she puts between her and that place. She arrives home shortly before Jessica does.

It really looks like they might be able to narrow it down to one forest the next day. Tomorrow will decide Matt's fate. To get some rest Trish takes sleeping pills while Jessica relies on alcohol.

She would be lying if she said the kiss and his "I will be with you soon." did not fucking sting. But it's even more the fact that Elektra was there sacrificing herself for Matt for the second time that makes her uncomfortable - because Trish wouldn't. Even in her stupid dreams she sees them kiss and more, until she's maybe in his head again. If this is really how Matt sees the world, it's like some abstract painting - a bit scary but also beautiful.

"Hey…" She can hear her own voice making her presence known.

He's startled, but now accepting this way of communication easier than she expects him to. Although she is not entirely sure that it's real yet. Still, a lot of the things he told her ring true. "Hey." He sounds tired and frighteningly hopeless.

How to bring it up….? "So, Elektra..."

"Yeah…"

"I'm sorry." When Matt doesn't respond she continues. "You loved her."

It's not a question and Matt doesn't answer for a very long time. So long, that it feels awkward to try speaking to him again. As if he has already forgotten that she is there.

"If I surrendered, too - not that I plan to do that... Would I be able to take her place?"

After a suspenseful second he admits it: "No."

She did expect that, but she imagined him saying something encouraging after that, like... stressing that he wants her alive. But he actually leaves it at that. Trish does not want to reveal her feelings about this. Maybe she can use the fact that he can't hear her heartbeat this way to her advantage.

But her subconscious has other ideas of what to do and say in her stupid dreams, so she is unable to change the topic: "I thought you didn't trust her. Did you lie to me?"

She can hear him sigh. "I really did not trust her with others, but she would never have hurt me." There is a pause. "Not really."

And after those last two words her gob goes another direction she'll regret: "Do you… do you like getting hurt?" She can totally picture Elektra with a sadistic streak and Matt sure likes it a bit rough. "Does it turn you on?" And she hates herself for sounding scared. But she has those judgemental comments in her head and she herself fears that she likes seeing him like that in a way. Even if it makes her sick. She can't remember ever seeing him unharmed and maybe she thinks it's hot that he's constantly covered in wounds. The scars sure are sexy. At the same time she hates his stupid martyr complex. She would not get a romance kick out of him dying in her arms or some shit.

"It's not like that." And with that answer she doesn't ask further about it. He has just witnessed the love of his life die again, so she can't blame him for not being in a particularly sharing mood.

"We are going to find you. I promise. Please, do not give up now, okay?"

"I won't. She killed two of them. Others will have to go to a doctor."

That's at least one snippet of information Trish gets from him that night.

"I miss you." Fuck that stupid subconscious. Not helping. At all.

"You will see me soon." His last sentence is so quiet she almost doesn't catch it before drifting into another surreal dream. And she has completely forgotten about it when she wakes up.


	23. Two Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a different perspective. What does the wife of the Kingpin know about Matthew Murdock? And is he in her opinion worth saving?

Vanessa is curious after her little talk with Trish. He was always the enemy to her, even when she agreed to help Elektra. What he did to those men who worked for Wilson, just trying to get answers, it was horrible. Sure, those were criminals, but so is he since he broke their bones. Seeing him caught and tortured didn't change her mind, because she never really saw him as a person. He was a dangerous threat. Someone who was determined to bring Wilson down, who even threatened her. She hated him.

Now she steps in front of the devil and takes him in, mask still in place, blood dripping from multiple fresh wounds on his body. So, this is the man Trish Walker wants to save and she believes he deserves better. He tilts his head, beaten, bound and broken. "What do you want?" His voice is low, but still quite strong.

"I want to know…" Her hand goes for the mask and she takes it off. He doesn't even flinch, but Vanessa gasps, because his eyes were never mentioned.

"You're blind…. and surprisingly pretty for a guy who beats people up for fun." She states awkwardly.

"Not doing it for fun…"

"Oh, but you ENJOY it." She takes out the disinfectant now and Matt winces. He is not putting on a show for her, acting like he doesn't mind, like it's all a joke. Or maybe he does prefer them punching him. "I've seen you before. At the art gallery. You were scared of him." She remembers that blind guy being rather charming back then, but of course he was looking for his mortal enemy.

He doesn't respond and she starts treating the slashes on his body which is quite awkward, because he apparently still thinks she is going to hurt him. Remembering how he just said goodbye to Elektra she looks at his unharmed face where she finds pure resentment. He hates her, too, then. Admittedly, she doesn't want the man dead anymore, despite everything. Before, it was just for Wilson's sake. She thought this whole plan was ridiculous and even if Daredevil will die in the end, she was sure this guy would have people wanting revenge. People like Trish and those so called Defenders. There has to be a way to come to some kind of solution that didn't mean she had to hide and worry for the rest of her life.

"You know, I could just let you go... What if I offered your freedom if you left Wilson alone?"

"No." He looks angry at her suggestion. "He's a criminal, I can't let him go. And even if I did he will never leave the people I love alone. He likes to execute them in front of me….!"

"Sssssh… Oh, don't be like that." She puts her hand over his mouth firmly, then she brushes his hair out of his face. "You started it by threatening me. I'm sure you regret that now. There is no need to die for that little crusade. You know there will always be another Wilson Fisk, right? The next one might be worse. Have you even looked at the Moranos?!" There is another slash that needs cleaning.

The blind man clears his throat. "I won't die. Someone will come for me. Then I'll put you and Fisk in prison. Where you belong." He spits his own blood in her face and smiles smugly at her shock. "And after you the Moranos."

Vanessa is stunned. "What did I do…?"

"You know what is happening and you don't care. You pretend to be blind to corruption, violence and injustice, because it suits you and you should know better. That is what disgusts me. Apart from the man you are with."

Now she pulls his head up by his hair to reveal his delicate neck and she touches it gently with her finger. Then she warns him with a strangling motion. "Come on, like you're any better. You get off on this stuff. You love fighting and afflicting pain. Even getting hurt seems to be part of the allure for you." She touches one of his wounds and he hisses.

"The people I hurt deserve it."

She laughs at that. "Do you deserve the pain as well, then? Because you break bones? Put people in a coma? Is that it?" He doesn't answer. Vanessa lets go of him, taking pity on the guy. "You could have this easier. I will convince Wilson to go away with me and you'll have Hell's Kitchen to yourself again."

"I won't let him get away and he won't leave anyway." She can hear him sigh.

"Proud to the last drop of blood. You could have just lied to me. Idiot."

"I'm not gonna let you think for a minute that you can make me do anything you want."

She makes him squirm and wince for that. "Not even to save people? Save Trish?" That makes his breath hitch for a moment. "Oh, you DO care about her then." She had thought it was one sided.

"You're not that powerful. Probably don't want him to know about this little offer of yours."

She's taken aback, clearly the guy doesn't know who he's dealing with. He'll learn how much power she has soon. His conviction is impressive, though. He can't be sure that he'll get out of this alive, yet he refuses to make a deal like that. It's stupid, but most heroes are. She then leans over to whisper in his ear: "I see why she likes you." Before he can ask her what this means she puts the mask back on and he knows this conversation is over. She just pads his cheek and leaves him by himself.

When she's at the house again she starts googling Matt Murdock. She has known his real name and that he is a lawyer for some time now, but somehow she never bothered finding out more about him. There is not much, which probably makes sense for someone leading a double life. All pictures of him are with glasses. There is one with his law partner and it's the genuine smile that throws her off. She has seen Daredevil smile and laugh in those videos, but it was never like that. This is not going to make it easier to just let Wilson kill the guy, although it seems to be the only way to end the matter. One of them has to die. Then she also makes the mistake of googling Daredevil and after that video with Elektra he has full public support. These people don't know how scary that woman was. But suddenly it seems like half the citizens of Hell's Kitchen have been saved by the vigilante at some point or they know someone he saved.

She is reading one account by a witness that was published online and it's getting harder and harder to ignore the fact he is certainly not a bad guy - a bit twisted maybe in his punishments, but that is not unlike Wilson himself. And she noticed today that he doesn't fear getting killed himself, but he desperately wants to protect the people he cares about. In a way, that she can relate to.

After a couple of hours researching her husband's hostage she gets a call from him. "I hear you've taken a look at our guest… Do you approve of our strategy now?"

She can't let him know just how conflicted she really is. "I'd like to shoot the next video."

There is a pause on the other end of the line. "I really don't want you near him."

"If you're worried that he'll say some bad things about you, he already tried. I know who I'm with. You know that I love you." There is still nothing from his end. "I want to celebrate you defeating the Devil of Hell's Kitchen with you. It's safe. There is nothing he can do to me." Except making her see that he is indeed very human which he already did.

"Okay, you convinced me. I'll tell Vince to get you here and we'll wait for you."

On the way over there Vanessa thinks about her options. Murdock is right, she can't just call the shots. She doesn't have that kind of power. All she can do is watch and try to influence Wilson, try to make him see that they have to leave all of this behind. That killing Daredevil isn't worth it. After the election she has to make him flee the country with her. He already did so much for her. Now she has to save him from himself. This is not a life worth living, not for her and not for him.

When she arrives, Wilson greets her with a kiss. "You know, I wanted to keep you away from all of this."

"I know and I appreciate it, but I want to be a part of your life. I can't just take the good bits. If this is important to you, then I want to support you in this." Wilson smiles and takes her hand to bring her to the room where they are keeping Daredevil. Matt Murdock, she reminds herself. And she's about to see him get punished. She takes a deep breath and opens the camera on the phone.

Two things make it harder to watch this time around. The fact that it's happening right in front of her and the fact that she has seen the face under the mask. He's also not that committed to keeping up the fake smiles anymore. Maybe seeing Elektra die did really break him. When it looks like he's going to faint she leans towards Wilson and asks him quietly: "She should maybe be more careful or she might kill him before the election."

When he looks confused, she adds: "That's not what we want, right?"

He then signals for the woman to stop and she turns to the camera and says: "If you want to see Daredevil unmasked: Vote Chopra!" She ends on a creepy thumbs up and Vanessa stops the video.

"You know, if it would save his life the voters would be more likely to pick Anand."

He frowns at her. "Do YOU want to save him?"

"Are you crazy? He threatened me. I want him dead sooner rather than later. But you also know, I want Anand to win." Vanessa can be very convincing and when he smiles she knows she has him.

"Okay, let's make another one. For you." He then orders the woman to give him the mask and puts it on himself.

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Record, please."

"But he is unconscious."

"Are you going to question all my decisions now?" He is very intimidating with that mask.

"I'm sorry, please go ahead." He nods and she starts filming again. First he throws a bucket of water over the lawyer and thankfully he wakes up from the shock. "Finally, it's your turn." There is that trademark Daredevil smile again, as if this was what he has been waiting for.

"Someone just asked me to leave you alive if Chopra wins instead of revealing your identity. Can you give me one reason to do so?"

He faces his captor with his chin up: "If you let me live, I'll hunt you till the day one of us dies."

Damn, that man is difficult to keep alive. Vanessa sees her husband punch him in the gut several times, he then closes one of his big hands around Murdock's neck. "She died for nothing then? You're killing me anyway?"

"You're really asking for it. Also, she didn't surrender." He might not be using a knife, but the punches he delivers look a lot more painful than the cuts in the earlier video. He's also hitting a lot of bloody wounds. If no one stops him, he'll go too far. Then suddenly Matt looks very tense and starts mumbling: "No no no, not now, go away!"

Wilson laughs at the sudden outcry. "Did I hit a nerve? Is it not fun anymore?"

Murdock doesn't seem to be talking to him though. "Please, just go!" For the first time he is begging now.

"I don't think so." Wilson keeps hitting his hostage again and again. This is actually a side of the man she loves that she hasn't seen before. She knew that he was capable of extreme violence, that it was a part of his job that he has to be feared. But seeing this was different. This was exactly the kind of raw violence that made her think Daredevil wasn't the hero his supporters made him out to be. When he is finally done, he walks in front of the camera and says: "If you vote Chopra, I'll make his death short and painless." Okay, this didn't help then.

Vanessa stops the recording and looks at the man she loves. When he takes the mask off, there is fear in his eyes. "Is this what you wanted to see?"

Vanessa tries hard not to sound afraid when she answers: "It may not be what I wanted but what I needed to see."

She hugs him to reassure him and as her eyes wander back to the devil she sees how his cuffs snap open on their own. When he launches an attack she barely has time to freak out and warn Wilson about it. Suddenly the devil's bloody arms shoots around his neck and their hostage jumps effortlessly through the air to kick several of the guards in the head or at least get rid of their guns. After punching him for minutes, Wilson seems to now be trapped in his grip, too shocked to struggle and while Daredevil pulls him around roughly to deal with his remaining enemies, he never even gives him a chance to land another blow. Finally Wilson is out of breath, falls to the ground and the man they were torturing just now takes out the last guy standing in the room. He then grabs a knife and before he can slam it into her unconscious husband, Vanessa jumps in front of him.

"Noooo!" She shields his body shivering from fear and expecting the stab any second. When it doesn't happen and she hears how he throws the knife in a corner, she open her eyes to see the devil's masked face. He is holding his stomach wavering slightly and lets out a desperate chuckle. "And you think I'M enjoying this…"

"Please, just leave now. I'll make him leave the city."

He shakes his head. "No chance. The backup is here already. These ones won't be surprised."

And sure enough she hears the approaching footsteps. "Take me as a hostage. They won't risk you hurting me."

She can see the man tilt his head and before she is able to react his arm is around her neck and she has a gun to her head. Immediately the door opens to more armed men aiming their guns at them. In that moment she realises that she is not afraid of the devil shooting her. After everything she has read today she knows that there is a line he won't cross. He came close to it earlier, but even then he didn't do it. She just hopes those other men aren't as sure about that as she is and that she actually serves as his ticket to freedom. But she can see them back away and just when she thinks that this is actually working, Murdock sighs and pushes her to the side roughly. When she turns around she sees him and Wilson fight again, the other men waiting for it to be over. And it doesn't last long. The blind vigilante probably used up all his energy for this impressive attempt to free himself. So with one hard blow to the head, he goes down.

"Who freed him?! Did anyone see something?" Wilson starts screaming. "Put him up again!" The men who just came in, pick their hostage up to chain him to the wall again. But he's completely out of it now. She doesn't say anything. Vanessa is still not sure what exactly happened, how the cuffs could suddenly open like that. It didn't look like anyone helped him. While the men are slowly waking up now from their fight with the devil, Wilson keeps screaming at them to give him an explanation for this. "He almost shot her!" He looks at all of them accusingly. And then something happens that more than anything this day confirms for Vanessa that the devil in the room is not the man chained to the wall, but the monster she is in love with. With a condescending look on his face he shoots everyone who was in the room before in cold blood. After a moment he looks at her with regret. "I can not take the risk of someone betraying me, especially when you're in the room." She looks at him in horror.

Then he picks up a knife to walk over to the unconscious vigilante.

"We have to finish this. Start shooting." Will they just shoot him now? She holds her breath. "Vanessa, the camera."

She looks at her phone and reluctantly opens the camera. She doesn't dare to argue with him and just nods, looking at the screen with dread. Wilson now faces the camera without a mask.

"Let me introduce you to the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, also known as…" He takes off the man's mask. "...Matt Murdock." He then holds up his head and puts the knife to his throat.


	24. Game Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Defenders decide not to wait another day and hope that they pick the right spot to rescue Matt.

The forest is huge, so searching it does take longer than expected. Trish is getting tired again, but she doesn't want to slow down and tries hard to look for the clues Matt gave her, while Jessica tells Lenny Morano: "If you are wrong about this, you're dead."

That just amuses him. "I'm sure, this is it. And besides: Without me, you'd have nothing."

Tuck goes in front of them along with Luke, a gun in his hand and she's glad she can see what he is doing. His whole demeanour is more as if they are on a track taking in the scenery every couple of minutes. At first she thought he was looking for snipers, but Tuck is really just a nature guy, it seems. Jessica told them not to shoot with real ammunition, but the man in the long coat just assured her that he can point his weapon so it won't be lethal. She didn't have time to argue. 

There is probably still a 50/50 chance that the Moranos made a deal with Fisk to get rid of the vigilantes in Hell's Kitchen. Trish thinks if the search will take much longer the chances of reaching in time slowly diminish while Jessica's annoyance with Lenny grows every time he opens his mouth. "Shut up and pray that he is still alive." Danny for once kind of enjoys not being the one Jessica is snapping at. He was very excited to be a part of this rescue mission.

And Trish actually has reason to hope now. On the long drive she finally gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep. In her dream she found her way back in his head, much to his dismay, because he was apparently in the process of being tortured and he was screaming for her to go away. Whatever they did to him wasn't as disturbing as anything her mind came up with before, though, and Trish was still desperate to help. This time she recognised Fisk himself hitting him. That voice she'll never forget. She felt a dull sense of his pain and tried to concentrate hard on his cuffs again. The situation actually helped her make more sense of his surroundings and the way he perceives things. In his head she pleaded with him to show her where he was chained. After a while she really felt that he actually was concentrating on it, so she did as well. There were two cuffs around his wrists and she somehow could sense them more clearly than ever before. She focused hard on the two locks, knowing that she had to open them at the same time. Suddenly the punches stopped and she saw an opportunity to free him unnoticed when his tormentor walked away to talk to the camera. And it worked! Matt was able to attack the guy from behind and she cheered him on. That was when she suddenly woke up, because they reached their destination.

Now just a few minutes later she finds herself hearing the noises Matt described to her. She knows that it can't be too far from the highway so they have to be close. When there is a very distinct bird she even remembers hearing herself, she motions for the others to follow her. Then they hear a car speed away close by and they take cover.

Creeping closer to a building in the middle of nowhere, she recognises some plants Matt told her he smelled in her dream. She looked them up afterwards and now she's absolutely convinced that what she dreamed was real. That has to mean he's free, right? She's starting to hope that they could run into him any minute now. That he'd stumble in their way - half dead - and she'd run to him, drag him behind a tree and make sure he's safe and doesn't bleed out on the way home. A short flashback of him kissing Elektra still insists on ruining her little reunion fantasy. She forcibly clears her head.

They almost reached the building when someone starts shooting at them.

 

* * *

 

Jessica doesn't understand how Trish knows where to go, but she tells them directions and miraculously finds the place. Of course, the fact that they apparently know that they are coming is not a good sign at all. They could have killed him already, but Jessica does not want to think about it. She should have noticed the cameras.

Luke is the first to leave cover and he indicates two different shooters. He moves for one while Jessica and Danny go for the other one and Trish watches over Lenny and his creepy sidekick. Jessica had told her before that she should use her arrows if she feels any indication that they plan to cross them. After a minute they have taken care of the shooters and indicate to the others that they can move inside silently. The place is eerily quiet. All they hear is one annoying bird chirping away. Danny goes upstairs to check the rooms there. At a long hallway Luke and Jessica split up again with Trish following her sister and the Moranos following the man with bulletproof skin.

They open every room door by door, until finally they unmistakably find the place where he was kept. Past tense. Trish is the first one to move inside, but there is no trace of him, just four other corpses on the floor and a whole lot of blood, everywhere. Especially on the wall where the cuffs are still hanging. His blood apparently. Trish looks back at Jessica stating with fearful certainty: "Some of it is still fresh."

Two gunshots then pull her attention back to Lenny Morano and Tuck who is pointing his gun at something behind her. She looks back in time to see a man with blood flowing from his side holding his hand. A gun is lying a few feet from him to the ground. Knowing he would not be fast enough to get to the weapon before getting shot he turn to run instead.

With one last glance at the Moranos Jessica leaves Trish to go after the guy, who was going to shoot her. She knocks him out completely and check the rest of the rooms to make sure there won't be any more surprises. But there is nobody left.

Reluctantly she walks back, nodding at the smiling mobster with a grumbling "thanks" in Tuck's direction. "You're welcome ma'am."

They all meet in the room with the corpses and Jessica immediately searches them. "Let's see if they left any clues behind, where they could have gone now." She knows that's not very likely.

"He could still be around here somewhere." That is even less likely. Jessica doesn't know where Trish got that idea, but she looks at Luke, who understands the suggestion in her eyes.

"I'll have a look around with the others," says Luke. After that they leave her alone with Trish and Jessica goes to her sister to close her arms around her. She immediately starts sobbing and Jessica rubs her back in comfort.

"There is still hope, Trish. They left in a hurry. If they killed him, they probably would just have left him behind and not bothered with his corpse." It's not a bad argument, but of course, leaving the body behind would end the whole election scheme. No need to mention it now, though. She feels Trish trying to get a grip on herself. Her sister sighs deeply and lets go of her.

"Okay, I'll try to keep it together as long as there is still a tiny possibility that he's alive. As long as he might still need us."

After half an hour of searching, even Trish has to conclude that dead or alive, Fisk probably took Daredevil with him in that car they heard earlier. So they have to leave.

Lenny makes sure that Jessica acknowledges him holding up his part of the deal. Begrudgingly she agrees that this isn't his fault. She bitterly remembers the moment in which the Morano actually helped her when she wasn't paying attention.

They are back to square one again. Only this time they are not sure if they even have any more time left. So far there was a video every day and the one that was uploaded today clearly was shot after Elektra's death. And it didn't look like this was minutes after her death, because Jessica thought he was way too collected again. So the next video might show them if he might still be alive.

 

* * *

 

Trish was eager to get some sleep that night. She couldn't tell Jessica that she was hoping to connect with Matt again in her dreams, because she didn't think she'd believe that, so there was no point in discussing it. Instead she just told her that she was exhausted which wasn't even a lie. "But you'll stay here again tonight, right?"

Jessica just nods and puts her bag down on a chair. "You get some sleep and I'll try to look for new leads. Lenny gave me a couple of locations that Fisk most likely might use as a backup. He'll ask around if anyone saw anything."

Trish snorts. "I hate that we are depending on those guys so much. They are crazy."

"Tell me about it. But that Tuck guy actually saved my ass today."

Trish's eyes widen at that statement. "Wow."

"Yeah… well, you never know. So, maybe there's still a chance. Sometimes people can surprise you." Trish thinks of Vanessa and she really hopes that woman will turn out to be one of those people.

Sadly that night her dreams weren't that helpful. Everytime there is this strange blackness she hopes to make out the sound that she over time associated with Matt's own heartbeat. But as soon as she thinks that she hears it, she slips out of it again, or it turns into a surreal vision where the sound really belongs to a huge monster chasing her away again.

When she wakes up she does not feel rested at all. But the first thing she does is check for a new video. The fact that there is one is a bit of a relief already. It's the uncertainty that's killing her. Knowing that by now nothing will shock her anymore, she immediately clicks on it.

She recognises the room they were in. That means they shot this before, it won't show them anything new. It won't prove that he was alive afterwards. But at least it does show that he was alive before. This time it's Fisk himself who's throwing the punches. And then she suddenly hears Matt's familiar warnings to go away, directed at her. Trish already believed it was real, but seeing this actually takes her breath away. At the end of it she knows for sure now that she has been able to open his cuffs right after the camera was switched off, right after Fisk said he'll kill him either way, but quickly if Chopra wins. Had he really gotten away they probably would have heard from him by now. And although that doesn't change anything she suddenly feels hopeful again. The situation can look different any time again. If only she could figure out how she connects with him. Or maybe she can't, because he's dead...

The day goes by faster than the last ones with their time running out and the election on the next day. The politicians make their last statements and while Cannon tries to use the public sympathy for the devil for his gains and blames his rival for the man's certain death now, journalists immediately point out that he himself was campaigning for shooting the vigilante on sight before all this. Chopra however finally seems to have found a way to reach the voters and actually is able to talk about policies as well. He argues that it's his political opponent who created the circumstances that required the vigilante to rise in the first place. It twists her stomach that he's right, but at the same time Jessica has indeed found certain connections between him and Fisk. He was definitely involved with Matt's captivity. And knowing that she has to go on her show this night before the election and talk about all this gives her a headache. They informed the police about the empty building, hoping someone would find evidence of Chopra's involvement as well, just so the voters have all the information that could be important for their decision.

Before the show goes on air Trish tries to take another nap. She tries to focus on Matt while falling asleep hoping that would make a difference. This time she can see him, chained to the wall. Is she in someone else's body, then? Suddenly she notices somebody standing behind him. A hand snakes around his stomach, another one around his chest and he closes his eyes with a sigh. Then she sees that it is Elektra, not really remembering in her dream that the woman is dead. His ex starts nibbling on his ear and his lips part at the attention. Then Elektra turns to Trish: "Don't worry, he's all yours now. You've just got to save him, the way I showed you."

"This isn't helping at all."

"It's not my fault that you're jealous." She then nudges his face in her direction and kisses him, her other hand sliding into his pants. Thankfully, that's when Trish wakes up. Why does her mind keep obsessing over that shit? The woman is fucking dead. She does not care. She just doesn't want him to follow her.

She gathers her things to go to the radio station trying to shake that dream off.

Even in her death Elektra is an annoying distraction, Trish sulks. She was supposed to help him. She freed him once, she could do it again! Instead her subconscious is still too obsessed with his ex apparently. Or there is another reason why she can't reach him anymore. But that she really does not want to consider.

During the show Trish suddenly finds herself talking to several listeners who are supporting Anand Chopra and Daredevil. Of course she warns them that that may not be the same thing. At the same time she believes that Chopra still would be better for the city in general, still she could never make herself vote for him, or for anyone, really.

At one point, someone calls to say: "If they are going to kill him anyway, we need to vote for someone who'll change things. So we don't need Daredevil anymore. With Cannon it'll be more of the same."

Another one doesn't care about the vigilante. "I would have voted to kill Daredevil if that was the choice. He defied the law and he knew it would get him killed one day. We can't depend on people like that anymore." That he uses the past tense when he talks about Matt somehow makes his possible death very real already and Trish can feel a silent tear slide down her cheek. "But I hope we still get to know who that masked psycho was."

Trish doesn't say much between calls and she mostly takes it all in thinking of Matt's smile, his passion for justice and protectiveness over his city. There really shouldn't have to be a man like that, but he was amazing all the same. Her last caller agrees with that sentiment: "I think it's time we start taking care of ourselves, so people like Daredevil don't have to carry that burden. We owe him that even if we can't save him anymore."

After the show she finds a message from Vanessa's number on her phone. Trish's heart races not knowing what to expect. It says: "Did you like the speech I wrote for Anand?"

She is so going to expose them, even if it's the last thing she will do. Trish fires back: "You won't get away with this."

"I know. He's still alive, by the way." And that was the last thing she expected. Except for what comes next: A video is loading on her phone. Trish takes a deep breath. Is Vanessa mocking her now? She hits play. Somehow she is sure this was shot after the video from this morning, this is after she freed him. Crap. There goes that tiny hope that he's just hiding and healing somehow. She watches as Fisk is already unmasking Matt who is totally out, not even aware of what is happening. Her heartbeat is going crazy. She can tell his captor is about to cut his throat. But there would have been even more blood, right? Just then someone tells him that he saw the Defenders on their security cameras.

Fisk groans and lets go of Matt's head. He walks up and down, clearly enraged. "We'll need him alive as insurance after all." He slams the knife in the wall beside the man's unconscious body. "Take him away and put him in the trunk. If I have to see him again mocking me with being alive I'll kill every single one of you."

After they get Matt away he looks at the camera. "I'll wait till the election. But no matter who wins, I'll kill the Devil of Hell's Kitchen however the fuck I want. Stop filming."

Trish writes: "What do you want?"


	25. The Murdock Sobfest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... there aren't many chapters left, I've been told. Time to wrap this up.... :)

When Matt wakes up he's in a different building, this time hanging from the ceiling with his hands tied together.

"Surprised that you're still alive?" Wilson Fisk is sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. There are several guards around him. "Me, too. But I'm sure you know how persuasive women can be. I've seen you with yours." He smiles, probably congratulating himself on killing her. The joke's on him, because Matt knows that Elektra's attack had cost him as well. He doesn't have as many people under him as he wishes anymore.

Now Fisk looks at his prisoner like he's expecting a response. If he is waiting for Matt to make small talk, he will need a lot more patience. There is not one part of his body that doesn't hurt, but it's a bit of a relief to wake up in a different position at least. Although hanging like this will get old fast, but it's not like they plan to keep him alive that much longer.

"Well, if you want to get back to me hitting you instead of talking, I have to disappoint you. Vanessa did not appreciate seeing me like that, so I had to promise to wait for the results of the election which will go as planned."

"And what then?"

"I'll kill you, of course. But she does not want to see that."

Of course. And for a second there he thought Vanessa would actually stand up to the man openly. She clearly loved Fisk, enough to jump in front of him and sacrifice herself. But she wasn't as bad as him either. This whole mad plan of torturing some vigilante to get Anand Chopra elected wasn't hers and she did not enjoy watching it happen. He checked her heartbeat the day before. She is also not staying away anymore in an effort to pretend that this isn't real or that she is not a part of it. Too bad that it's too late to accept her offer to help him now. He probably should have. It's just that he didn't trust her, and he feared more bad consequences for his friends if Fisk caught him with Vanessa of all people. And now, it does not look like she'd be able to free him secretly anymore. While Fisk is busy on his phone, Matt realises that he is actually back in Hell's Kitchen. He catches an excerpt from Anand Chopra's last speech and it sure sounds like he'll win the election. A week ago, he would have been glad about that.

That's when Vanessa comes in with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, a wicked smile on her lips.

"Leave us alone with him, we need to celebrate my man's victory over the Devil of Hell's Kitchen."

"You heard the lady." Fisk takes the bottle and fills their glasses. His men leave the room and Vanessa sits down at the table next to him, with her chair turned around, so she can look at Matt.

She holds up her glass facing her husband and says: "To winning an election and defeating the devil. Both of us get what we want."

"To changing the world together." Their glasses clink and Fisk drinks from his, while Vanessa first watches him, then puts the glass to her mouth, but she hesitates to drink Matt notices with sudden interest. His senses are quite weakened in the state he's in right now, but he does think that he is picking up the smell of poison in that champagne. Should he be warning her or does she know? Would he be killing both of them if he doesn't say anything? And really, would anyone blame him anymore when he's about to be executed? But he also is not sure if he can trust his senses, because this can't really be happening, right? It can't be ending like this, with him still tied up and her killing the man she desperately wanted to protect with her own life. He fumbles with the rope around his wrists and after he accepts that it's useless, he decides to just wait and see what happens now. Will that Fakedevil creep take over from Fisk, maybe? Or is this a plot by someone else to take his position? It would make more sense to wait until they got rid of Daredevil, though. But it's not like he is much of a threat right now. At the moment they are both still talking - and it's annoyingly cheesy. Soon they will notice something and one of them will be pulled out of their little victory bubble.

Suddenly Fisk takes her glass and throws it against the wall. "Did you drink anything?!"

Her heartbeat doesn't indicate a big surprise or shock, so she knew. And Fisk doesn't get it yet, but her next words, full of regret and apologies confirm it beyond doubt: "I really loved you."

That's when it's really sinking in. Fisk starts gagging and Matt isn't sure if it's from the ultimate betrayal or the poison. "I also believed you were the answer to the problems in Hell's Kitchen. I believed in YOU." Fisk grabs the knife on the table, but his muscles don't obey him anymore. Vanessa avoids a mad slash in her direction. "YOU made it possible for Anand to win. But it was only after I introduced you, that I realised you are also the problem. And that you will never change. It will never be enough for you. I would never be and you will never leave with me." She starts crying while her husband is fighting against death. "You wanted to be the man who makes Hell's Kitchen better, but you've become the man who destroys it. I can't let you do that, because I loved you."

Matt can feel Fisk breathing his last breath. Should he be happy now? She took the decision he wasn't able to and ended it, just like that. But the others will come in at some point and without Fisk giving them orders, he has no idea, what will happen. So he decides to pull Vanessa out of her apathy.

"What are you going to do?"

"Shut up." She doesn't like being reminded that he's still in the room. "I didn't do this to save you." A lie? Why would she do this for him anyway?

Vanessa pulls her phone out, her eyes must be red from the tears he can smell and she fills Fisk's glass again. For a moment he thinks she'll try to make him drink it, but then she raises the glass to her own lips and Matt starts to protest.

"Really? Now you want to save ME?"

She makes a strangled noise and drinks. "I just killed the love of my life... You see, I wasn't blind." The word makes her snort. "I knew he was rotten and twisted, tried to make him better even. But he had the potential to do good as well and I think you took that away from him forever. Since you turned up and picked a fight with him he was obsessed with you." He recognises the disgusted tone in her voice. Sounds like she's blaming him for the failure of her fucked up marriage. No, that one even he does not feel responsible for. That's on her entirely. Her choice. Then again he understands that you don't really decide who you love. He himself tried to save Elektra even when she was the Black Sky after all and that makes him somehow sympathise with her situation.

She pushes the dial button and holds the phone to her ear.

"Hi Trish! This is Vanessa. I can tell you where your boyfriend is." Matt's not so sure that's who he is to her at the moment. Not after he kissed Elektra and he tried to push Trish away to discourage any ideas she might have had of surrendering. The last part, of course, only happened if she actually was in his head and he didn't hallucinate her voice, and he didn't dream up that incident when his handcuffs opened.

"It's not a trap." Vanessa sounds cheerful and takes a knife walking towards him slowly. There is a mad energy about her that worries him. You can't predict what a person will do when they already chose death, when they don't have to worry about consequences. When they blame you for something that ruined their life and when they hold a knife.

After she tells Trish the address she holds the phone to his ear so he can talk to her. "That woman is crazy. Don't come alone. She just killed Fisk." Vanessa puts the knife to his throat and takes the phone back, annoyed at him.

"He's STILL alive. Third floor, second window from the left." Then she disconnects the call and comments: "This is not how you talk to the woman you love, you know? I'm disappointed, Matthew."

She does something else on her phone. Could she be telling Chopra what she did? Was she working with someone else outside? He feels the knife cut his skin and blood is flowing down, slowly. It's not on purpose, but she also does not care. Her telling Trish that he's still fine could confirm his suspicion that she has another plan for him. So he accuses her bluntly: "You're going to kill me."

"I just saved your life and your stupid secret identity by deleting those videos, you self righteous prick. Can't you be a little grateful?" She drinks some more and throws the glass to the ground in front of him, some tiny shards cutting his feet. The knife is moving over his bare chest, not forceful enough to actually scratch him now.

"I was going to cut the rope, but you had to be an ass." He can smell the alcohol on her breath already and she wants to say something else, but stops herself. Now it's her hand that's stroking him, not the knife which she dropped to the ground.

"What then?" Matt clenches his jaw, trying not to push her buttons as she sobs. He does not understand at all what is going through her head right now and it terrifies him. Not for his life, but for Trish's.

"I think you've suffered enough at his hands." Her heartbeat tells him it's the truth. "And I won't hurt her. Won't set a trap for her." He sighs in relief. Trish almost died because of him once already, watching something like that happen again without being able to do anything about it would kill him. And if they still get together after all this, it will happen again with absolute certainty. That realisation breaks his heart, so he tries not to think about it as long as he doesn't have to.

When Vanessa moves closer, she stops an inch before his face. "Don't you think I deserve a kiss though, for everything I had to sacrifice?" She strokes his hair back like she did the first time she came to see him and he closes his eyes. He's freaking out over her behaviour, but he still feels bad for her despite everything. She decided to save him and kill the man she loved after all. That he can't deny now, especially since he can sense that she is indeed dying.

"The poison...", he whispers, actually pitying her for not being granted her last wish. She chuckles crying desperate tears now and he brushes his lips softly across her cheek. Vanessa looks at him in shock. Then she closes her eyes and her heartbeat slows down. "You're something else, you know that?" She walks back to the table, puts the empty glass down and takes a seat next to Fisk. "I made the right choice after all."

"You're really not going to release me?" In a way he can't bring himself to complain about that to her anymore.

She smiles. "I'll leave that to her. She gets to rescue you." And that's when she starts choking.

 

* * *

 

Trish takes in the scene when she arrives with Jessica through the window only minutes later. She can't believe he's actually alive and that they got to him in time. They are not entirely out of there yet, but all the tension leaves her for this moment.

"Damn." He looks somehow better than she expected, as if someone cleaned him and took some care of him.

"I know." A humourless laugh escapes him as if he still can't believe what is happening.

Jessica goes up to him and looks at the shards below his bare feet. She carefully holds his body, so he won't fall on the ground, while Trish uses her powers to free him and then she puts him down in a safe distance from the broken glass.

Trish gives him a bag of clothes. "Can you dress fast, or should we be heading out the window already?"

Matt shakes his head. "No one will want to check the room yet, Vanessa made sure of that." He swallows hard.

All three of them look at the corpses on the table and Jessica is the first one to find words. "We need to talk about your uncanny ability to make psychos either want to kill you or protect you." Trish agrees with her assessment while she helps him with his clothes.

He winces. "Guess I have to thank Trish for this one." When he's dressed he grabs a long stick, puts on his mask again and walks towards the door, instead of the window. "There is something I need to do…"

"Really, now? In the state you're in?" Jessica almost laughs.

"Counting on you two to help me out... A lot actually this time."

"We brought the Moranos along as well. I was going to let them take care of Fisk's guys, to be honest." Jessica reluctantly follows.

Matt huffs. "That'll be a bloodbath!"

She just shrugs. "Lenny helped a lot. I promised him Fakedevil."

"No. That guy is mine." And with that he walks out, Jessica and Trish right behind him.

Matt is in a strange zone, barely on his legs, but absolutely determined to carry out his revenge. He walks along the hall to beat up his tormentors and he's still surprisingly efficient at that with adrenaline pumping through his veins. Jessica is ready to step in anytime and she already tries to shield him from most of the attackers, while Trish makes sure the doors behind them stay closed and the ones in front of them only open one at a time.

Despite Jessica's efforts to stay in front of Matt during the fight, she keeps falling back. So when the blind ninja manages to get through to the room with the man who pretended to be him and then tortured him, he's alone and too slow to avoid many punches and kicks. Getting back up again he's even more angry and his stick connects with a skull, before one of Trish's arrows also hits the huge man. Matt immediately takes advantage of his confusion and knocks his legs from under him. He then starts kicking the guy like a mad man and every time he tries to get up again, Matt puts him down in a blind rage.

With the sleeping drug his opponent soon will have no way to defend himself and Trish knows someone has to stop what's going to happen next or he will regret it later. And just when she's thinking that, Jessica finally throws her arms around Matt to pull him back. In the time he struggles against her grip, still kicking at Fakedevil hard, the glass in a door next to them breaks into a million pieces. Lenny emerges from there and shoots the man on the ground, effectively saving the real Daredevil from a sin he was about to commit. While that sudden turn of events seems to pull him out of his murderous zone, Matt barely has time to react when Lenny points the gun at him as well and starts shooting.

Of course he does. Trish really should not be caught off guard, but she is. His target recovers faster and avoids most of the bullets, one of them only scratching his arm, another one almost hitting Jessica, but Trish is able to redirect it. She's surprised to realise that it actually doesn't take a lot of effort. Her reaction just has to be very fast, but by now she's really doing most of it on instinct.

Matt looks really exhausted, but he still can kick the gun out of Lenny's hands who just shrugs and smiles. "Nothing personal, the truce is just over now."

Jessica fumes with anger. "But you don't know who the mole is, idiot!"

"Oh, I tested everyone the last couple of days. We just found him right before you called to give us the new location."

After that Tuck comes up from behind the Morano and also starts shooting as well, taking out Fisk's remaining men easily, but this time Trish is ready and apparently she can use her powers against guns now which is incredibly useful. So when Tuck aims for Matt's head, all the bullets fly to the sides and Lenny looks amazed. The miraculously still unshot man smiles, not even surprised. He didn't move an inch, completely trusting in Trish's power - or the opposite, because those bullets went practically everywhere else and moving would definitely have gotten him hit. He's also barely standing, so maybe he didn't have much of a choice.

Tuck's eyebrows shoot up and as he moves back to reload his gun, which he is not used to doing. That man never misses and Matt indicates going back and using the opportunity to flee. "We gotta go, there are more coming." Trish then takes his arm across her shoulder to help him move again and the three of them hurry back to the fire escape they used to get in.

 

* * *

Jessica goes last, still trying to shield Trish and armourless Matt who looks like he'll pass out any moment now. Just when Tuck starts shooting again, she reaches the room where they kept their hostage and a bullet enters the door frame right after she crossed it.

On the stairs outside Jess grabs Matt to stop them, because they are way too slow like this. "Hey! Here!" Trish stumbles back at her sister's command, understanding her plan and holding onto them when Jessica jumps up. The Moranos are out of the window shortly after that, but they look down first, which gives the woman with super strength more time to jump further away. Tuck aims at her, but blinded by the sun he misses again and the three of them land on the roof safely. From there they have enough time to get away without anyone following them.

They catch a breath a couple of blocks away in a quiet corner and Matt slides down the wall and takes off the sweaty mask. There is madness in his eyes that Jessica has never seen before and then for the first time he really looks blind and helpless. Trish sits down next to him. When she tries to take his hand in hers he shudders and moves out of reach.

A stream of angry tears espaces his eyes as he closes them, mumbling "sorry". Trish then carefully lays her hand on his shoulder and he forces himself to breath in and out slowly.

"Ssssssh… you're free now. They won't hurt you anymore."

"Just… give me a minute, please…"

Jessica knows whatever they saw on those videos was just what they were supposed to see. Maybe they even didn't want to show the worst parts, so people actually kept watching them. She doubts the videos would have been as effective and viral, if it hadn't looked like he can take it. For once Jessica has no snappy comment on her tongue. "Take all the time you need. We're safe here." Even his sigh sounds broken now.

After a minute his hand finally reaches for Trish and he leans against her. She understands immediately and hugs him close, this time without any protest. Observing the scene makes Jessica wonder if he can ever be the same after this. Trish is comforting him as much as she can and he just lets go for a moment and accepts it. They still need to go to Claire soon. He might not drop dead, but his injuries are still serious. He can't just meditate them away.

Jessica looks at them with a sad smile, noticing that Matt is already trying to push it all down again. He moves away slowly and when Trish gently strokes the hair out of his face he becomes rigid for a moment. Her hand snaps back fast as if it burned him. Concern is painted all over her face.

"Told you it is a Murdock sobfest."

Matt looks insulted at that, eyes still quite red, but that's better than him being too broken to move right now. She can tell that her comment already makes him more determined to tough it out. But she needs Murdock being Murdock now, until Claire can check him over properly.

"Don't pout. At least this one has a happy ending. Let's go, see a nurse."

Trish is stroking his back affectionately as he gets up. Then she just steadies him again, with one arm around his waist and one over her shoulder as they start walking. "I'm still mad that you got yourself caught and played the damsel in distress for DAYS, by the way." She smiles, knowing he'll catch the lie.

"Sorry." But his answer is seriously regretful and he lowers his head in shame. Jessica rolls her eyes.

"Well, stop doing this shit then."

"I called you right when they grabbed me. I realised that it was selfish to try and fight alone and I was going to ask for help."

"I believe you." Jessica surely remembers how completely out of it Trish was when she told her about that call on the phone. 

Before they finally get going he turns back once more: "Thank you for stopping me before, Jess…" He's talking about the moment when she had to hold him back from killing someone, who was shot seconds later, because she made a deal with a psycho. Jessica just nods and Trish wipes a tear away silently.

All of this wasn't something he could just brush off like his previous near death experiences. His punishments so far had never been about revenge for something someone did to him, but this time he lost control until she stopped him. And Lenny somehow. He also wanted their help while doing it. All of that was so out of character for him, it worried her a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next up..... Matt and Trish being idiots again. Because they are, when it comes to relationships.


	26. The Man Responsible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's tie up some lose ends and make the idiots talk.  
> Plus: Matt is back in black. Yay!

At Claire's suggestion of going to a therapist Matt almost leaves without getting all his injuries taken care of, so she makes him promise that he would visit his priest at least and talk to him. Jessica doesn't know how that would help, but if it's a way for him to cope, she is the last one who should be judging his methods.

He doesn't want to say what was done to him and he is very conscious about hiding his injuries as much as possible this time. His captors tried to keep him alive to the end and they probably didn't know how much he would be able to bear, so maybe it could have been worse physically. But emotionally it is a different story. They had him for days, told him all the stuff they wanted to do to his friends and allies. And they also used him for a political game. As it turns out, the man Matt was counting on to fight corruption was working with Fisk and he won the election.

Beaten again way more than half to death, morals compromised, used and hopes disillusioned, Daredevil needs to take a break for a while. There is also a strange distance between him and Trish, but Jessica warned her that this would not be easy. Maybe that Elektra episode did end their little fling after all. Foggy has been writing to her secretly to discuss why their friends act like this. But it's not her problem. What is she supposed to do about it?

Foggy: Jessica, we cannot let it end like that. Matty is miserable.

Jessica: No shit. He was tortured for five days, did you want him to party?

Foggy: I want him to be glad that he's alive. He acts like rescuing him wasn't worth the effort.

Jessica: If he is being ungrateful I'll come over to beat sense into him.

Foggy: Did Trish say why she broke up with him?

Jessica: She didn't as far as I know. Maybe she's just giving him some space to heal.

Foggy: Or maybe he's giving her "space". But those idiots need fucking less space! I'm not complaining that my best friend is spending time with me again, without a threat to my life instead of him just doing his bodyguard duty on my couch. All I'm saying is: When has space ever solved any problems?

Jessica: Right now, space is all there is between my fist and your dickhead. Stop texting.

After a couple of minutes in which Jessica and Trish could catch up on some mindless TV show, Jessica hears her phone indicating another message from Foggy. She tries to ignore it, but he's insistent.

Foggy: He's going to Trish's to pick her up! :)

Foggy: Jessicaaaa!

Foggy: Girl

Foggy: Come on. Are you there? I'm bored all alone…

Jessica: Why did you have to chase your buddy away then?! And he really should be resting….!

Foggy: Because when you see potential of a great love story a real man encourages his bro.

Trish stops the show they were watching. "Jessica? What's going on? I know your mental facepalm face." 

She rolls her eyes. "Matt's coming over to pick you up."

"What?! Why?"

"I don't know! Ask Foggy!" Trish takes her phone out, her cheeks becoming red.

Jessica: Just tell me what he's picking her up for.

Foggy: Ah… well…. The Anand Chopra issue bothers him so much, and he wants to confront him.

"Seriously?!" Jessica tells Trish what she just read.

Jessica: WTF Foggy?! He can't be Daredevil a day after we got him out of there. I thought you wanted him safe!

Foggy: I saw an opportunity and told him to ask Hellcat if she wants to join him. To BE safe. Ok, maybe I got carried away. You really think Chopra is dangerous?

Jessica: Not himself, but if he's working with the likes of Fisk...

"Okay, Matt wrote to me as well." Trish is staring at her phone.

Jessica already knows where this is going. "I'll go home. Maybe Malcom would enjoy my company."

"Is that alright?" Trish looks conflicted, but Jess knows she is eager to talk to Matt about things.

"Just take care of your tortured vigilante. Make sure he won't do anything stupid." Jessica takes her.

"He's not really mine. And I think it all got a bit too intense anyway," Trish mumbles.

Jess rolls her eyes and walks to the door. "Yeah, right, keep telling yourself that."

 

* * *

 

The last couple of days ruined Trish and she only realised how much sleep and food she needed to catch up on after it was over. Looking back on it all now she didn't know how they did it and what she would have done if they had not been able to save him. It scares her. She never felt something like this for someone. Matt putting his own life that low on his priority list makes her want to put him on top of hers. After seeing him break down and actually having him cry in her arms, she wanted to seriously kill every one of those bastards. But that's not supposed to be her. There is darkness in both of them and maybe that means they aren't good for each other. Yet, she really can't see herself letting him go. Ever. Unless he wants her to.

After Trish changed into her armour she opens the door to her balcony and Matt is already waiting there. He's wearing the black outfit he had at the beginning of his crime fighting career, since they didn't find his suit again, just the helmet. Trish never noticed how tight the old one was. It's rather distracting.

"I could use another coffee before we go. Can you come in?"

"Sure. I'm sorry if I ruined your plans."

Trish starts her coffee machine. "I didn't have any plans today." She swallows, because he knows it's a lie, but he ignores it and just nods. Since when are they lying to each other, just to be polite? He takes off the mask, but if they'll be like that, it won't even make a difference.

It's the first time they're alone since they saved him and there are still some things Trish needs to talk about.

"Do you remember me being in your mind….?"

His eyes widen at that, but he manages to nod slowly. There is regret flowing off him. Trish swallows hard, because that means their conversation about Elektra was real and that changes things. She knew this already, but it's still a disappointment to have it confirmed like this.

"But you were never there when..." He stops, unsure if he should say more. Suddenly he looks very pale.

"When they were hurting you? Just that one time when you were shouting at me to go away." She lets that sink in. "And it didn't feel like it was my pain, by the way. But it still hurt that it was yours." The last admition makes her voice shake a little.

He looks a bit relieved now. "How did that work anyway?"

"I've been having those dreams for a while now. It started some time after I got injected. You want one, too?" The first coffee is ready and when he nods she takes another mug. "Sometimes it was Jessica, after they caught you my mind just always went to you, I guess."

Matt furrows his brow. "That's how your fighting skills improved that fast…"

Trish smiles at that observation. "It did? Well, I only started to believe that it was real, when the things you told me turned out to be true."

"Huh… so I guess you did manage to free me and actually opened the handcuffs with your mind - which is amazing by the way." He actually smiles at that. "I thought I must have gone insane or dreamed that." She puts the coffee in front of him and he smoothes his messy hair. It's still pretty much sticking up in all directions.

"But they caught you again."

"They did." He sighs. "Sorry, I was too weak."

Trish closes her eyes and winces at the typical self blame. "Don't, please. Or I'm going to have to blame myself as well for not dreaming my way into your head again. I fucking tried."

"Look, I didn't want to…"

"Did you lie about Elektra?"

"What…?"

"You said that she can't be trusted. But you did trust her."

He closes his eyes. "I'm sorry. I was really just trying to show you that you can trust her if it's about saving me. She really could not be trusted with anything else." It was clearly an uncomfortable topic for him. "And I… I didn't want you to throw your life away for me, too." So, he purposely pushed her away then, to save her. Again. She's not sure if that makes it better though. It still stings.

"I wasn't going to surrender." It's not who she is and she needs him to know that.

"Did you try that number?"

"It was Vanessa."

"I figured, but…. Wow." Matt still seems quite shaken by the whole thing. Even Vanessa's death kind of got to him.

"Yeah… Look, I don't want to pry. I guess you're still mourning Elektra… again. I mean, she meant a lot to you and she was dying, so I get it…" Trish waits for a moment, the memory of them kissing back in her mind. Was that just to make them trust her? No. When he doesn't say anything else, she adds: "I'm not her..."

"And I'm glad. I don't want you to be." Now, that's just great, isn't it?

"Yeah… I'm just not sure that you're ready for anything else... Anything less dramatic, anything without dying for each other." Trish laughs nervously and he looks concerned. She has to be honest with herself and with him. This is all a bit much for her at the moment and what she wants is something more real. She is also not just going to be the filler girl who will soothe his pain. She deserves to be more.

"Oh." Matt swallows. "Okay, I get it."

Does he, though? Because she thinks he felt rejected just now. "We're still friends, right?" She has to be careful of a mental facepalm nowadays, but damn... Trish Walker is not getting friendzoned.

"Is that what you want?" She isn't sure that they could have a future that doesn't involve death and destruction, but she wants to try and figure it out. Was there nothing between Elektra-intense and friendship for him? Or maybe, he thinks, that's just his life and she just said she didn't want that.

"It's more than I could hope for." Damn, those eyes might not be able to see, but they sure can talk.

Why does he have to make this so difficult? He is supposed to be the one trying to convince her. She can fucking feel that he would like to. Trish is also not used to this role. She is used to fight of advances, damn it, not fight for them. "What is it you hope for, then?" Can she make this any more obvious?

But Matt frowns and says: "Nothing." And the asshole looks away. Well, not looks, but his face is turned away so she can't see it. For some reason she doesn't want to push it. She's too annoyed. Her reasons for trying to slow things down with him are pretty solid. Just as solid as those muscles she can clearly see in this outfit. But he's still healing, so she has to keep her hands of anyway. And it's actually not the fact that they both almost died during all this, that is the problem. It's him jumping to close the door on a relationship just because she mentions some doubts about HIM being ready. Would he have done that to Elektra as well?

"Okay, Anand Chopra. I promised Vanessa not to expose him, though." That makes him tilt his head in her direction again. "You know, after what she did, I would like to keep my word."

"But I did not promise anything like that."

 

* * *

 

Breaking into Anand Chopra's house without getting detected is pretty easy with acute senses and being able to put a key into a lock from behind the door. It just takes some patience and a lot of concentration. Matt and Trish carefully slide into the politicians bedroom and switch on the light. He comes to life immediately and jumps behind the bed on instinct. Looking at the vigilantes like this was his judgement day he just states: "You're here to kill me."

"Wrong guess." Matt pins him against the wall within two seconds and punches him a couple of times until Trish orders him to stop. Her heart is beating fast, so she's afraid he'll go too far again and he still needs answers.

The man starts crying after that and what he says first actually takes them by surprise. "I'm so glad you're alive! I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I swear!"

Matt is taken aback, because it seems to be the truth and Trish asks cautiously: "Why did you do it?"

"I was desperate. A racist moron was about to be elected again and Vanessa offered me a sure win. I wasn't aware I was dealing with Fisk when I agreed. I didn't know what he had planned. Granted, I should never have given someone that much money without looking into it more closely anyway, but I tried to correct it. I tried to talk sense into Christine Shaw before she went on that talk show and gave this woman - Elektra - all the information I could gather. I was sure she'd be able to save you…"

Well, he wasn't able to save her. "She's dead."

The politician winces and starts crying overwhelmed by regret and remorse. "I'm so sorry. I screwed everything up worse by trying to make it better. It's no excuse, I know. I understand that you want to kill me. I always thought we were on the same side. Never imagined it would come to this." Matt wants to smash the man's head in for his idiocy.

But Trish just shakes her head. "Then you should know that Daredevil never kills anyone."

Just in that moment Matt's purpose kind of falters and he sways a little making the crying politician immediately steady him, so he won't fall to the ground, and apologise soon after. They both pretend like this didn't happen.

"Well, I figured he'd make an exception, because I truly deserve it."

The man in question lets go of him and just slumps on a chair in exhaustion. "Why can't this be easy for once?"

Trish stays alert probably thinking this might be a trap, but Chopra's regret seems genuine. He is not lying. "If we need information or assistance from you in the future then be sure to remember this day."

The man nods excitedly at her idea. "What? Well, of course! No question about it. That would be my honor… As well as a noble way to make amends… I thought about stepping down, but then it all would have been pointless." He looks at the dark figure in his chair and Matt now again tries to give the impression of a guy who would punish him if he had to.

Chopra has the decency to act like he's still afraid of his verdict. "I don't know what to say… Is there anything I can do for you now?" He sounds like he's actually begging to help. Did he really look as miserable as he felt, even with the mask covering his tired face? "You've done so much for my city. If you need a break, I have a second house far away, very isolated. I would just give you the key and address. No one will know."

Trish also says that it's a good idea. Are they ganging up on him now to leave his city by itself? Her and the man who almost got him killed or exposed?

"There is something you could do…" Matt tilts his head and Anand Chopra just promises: "Anything."

The man thought he was about to be executed, but still… didn't he learn anything from all this?! "Careful with those unconditional declarations, Mister. I'm gonna have a difficult mission for you. I need a bad sheep. Someone who does the dirty work for me and now you can't even pretend to be above it. I need the Moranos gone. You know, it would be better for our city."

The politician actually looks shocked at this turn of events. "You're not talking about assassinations…"

"I am." Trish shuffles uncomfortably.

"No. In that case…" The man stutters. "I can't help you. Do what you want with me."

"You're saying you won't help me against the criminals who will fill the void left by Fisk? Are you working with them this time?"

Trish now seems to understand what he's getting at. But the man who was practically offering his life for Daredevil just now suddenly looks at him differently. "I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I will not take part in something like this. There are other things we could do about the Moranos. I misjudged you."

Picking up on the disappointment in his voice Matt smiles. "I misjudged you, too. And I'm glad."

The man looks at the Devil of Hell's Kitchen with a new hope again. "Was this a test?"

"Sure it was. Turns out you really can be the man I always hoped you would be." And the other man feels unworthy again and wants to make up for even falling for that bluff. For believing the worst. "Look, if you're not going to use my house, let me at least feed you. We've had a really nice meal today and I think you could use some energy. What do you say?"

"The man has good ideas..." Trish waits for his reaction and if she decides to trust the guy again, that's good enough for him.

He gives her an irritated thumb up, realising he really is hungry, while Chopra observes them. "She's a keeper."

And that hits a nerve, because Matt knows he screwed it up with her, on purpose, no less. She should have someone who looks after her needs as well, not someone who adds his baggage to hers. What she needs is someone who doesn't flirt with danger on a regular basis and invite it into her life as well.

Twenty minutes later they sit at a table and everyone has a plate of Indian curry. It's a very strange little midnight party with two masked house guests and a man in his pyjamas.

"You're sure this isn't poisoned?" Hellcat smirks and Daredevil chuckles. She knows that he would be able to detect any dangerous ingredient in the dish. If only they were this uncomplicated without the silly costumes. Somehow with pretend identities they are able to ignore all the awkwardness, failed expectations and unresolved problems from earlier. Even their unlikely host is clearly pleased with his company, now smiling from ear to ear. There is still blood on his forehead.

After taking the first bite, Matt can't help but ask: "Did you make this yourself? It's delicious."

"As a matter of fact I did. Glad you like it."

"It's so much better than in any restaurant."

Trish is stunned and stopped moving entirely. "From him that is a huge compliment. He's very picky about food."

The cook beams. "Oh, thanks! The trick is to let it cook for some time and let the spices do the rest. You can come by again sometime if you need a midnight snack. You know where the fridge is now. We usually have leftovers, just not this much. The kids have eaten outside."

Matt is honestly starting to forgive the guy, his friendliness is just too endearing and of course he can empathise with the bad conscience he has over everything. It's just weird to be on the receiving end of it. So even if he has no plans of actually taking his food like that he still tells him that he might.

Another shocker for Trish. "When did you become so trusting?"

"I would know if he was lying."

"Well, I'm not and I'm so glad you're considering it."

He looks at Trish then. "I've never heard of you, but I like the costume and it's good to see he has backup now. So, you're his girl?"

"SHE is Hellcat." She grins at Matt's proud tone.

"Hellcat and Daredevil has a nice ring to it."

It really does. "She saved my life."

"Well, someone has to look after you as well I guess." And someone has to look after her as well.

"But if we'll be working together, I need you to explain to me how and why you got involved in all this exactly."

Chopra tells them the whole tale of how he got sucked into Fisk's scheme. It sounds believable and Trish almost chokes on a bite when he mentions that it was her own mother who introduced him to Vanessa. Matt immediately leads the conversation somewhere else, so she can get a grip.


	27. New Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is a mess, Trish is trying to be patient with him and Foggy thinks Jessica needs to give a damn.
> 
> This is actually the end of the story. There's just an epilogue left that is entirely optional.

On his way to meet Foggy Matt suddenly hears Trish's voice, so he stops in his tracks. She's talking to Jessica. "I don't need a vacation. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You barely slept the last week and almost drowned."

"Jessica is right, there is no crisis at the moment. Get some rest. We could go together!" Karen is also there which shouldn't be a surprise, because those two hit it off from the beginning. Still it's strange to hear them right next to the place Foggy suggested, but those things do happen sometimes. Matt is just more aware of those coincidences that usually occur unnoticed.

"I'm going to get some Whiskey. I can't be sober for this." He really should not be listening to their conversation, but he can't help it. "You know, if this is because of Matt, we can talk about it."

He stops then listening more intendly. Trish makes a frustrated noise. "Fuck, I really wish everything would not end up being about him these days. Jessica is right, I should take some time for myself and clear my head. Figure out what I want."

"Then why don't you?"

"What if he decides to reach out while I'm gone?" She laughs hysterically. "It's not like I want to center my life around a guy who's notoriously unavailable, because of some stupid notion that he is protecting me like this." What is she talking about? It was all too much for HER. She didn't want to do this anymore.

"I know what you mean. Matt is convinced that he alone can save everyone. When really it all could have gone differently, if he had just trusted in Jessica, you and all the others who were helping him." Matt swallows. Karen is saying that it's his fault everything turned out like this. So many people dead, Vanessa, Elektra… And some of the gangsters who saw his face or maybe even knew his identity are still alive. Nobody would be that honest to his face, so he keeps on listening, to know what they really think.

"Yeah, but that's the way it is in his head. He thinks only he can change the way things work in Hell's Kitchen, when really he just makes it harder for everyone else to do so, by trying to do it all alone. He doesn't even see it as him constantly sacrificing himself, because he thinks he's invincible, if he only sticks to his lone wolf mantra."

Karen laughs. "And then he gets angry if you tell him the truth or do something dangerous yourself."

"Right? It's so ridiculous!" Trish whines. "I'm no stranger to taking risks myself, but when I think I won't get out of something alive I turn around and fucking run."

"He'll never do that, not if someone's life is at stake."

"I know and I even admire that about him. The man without fucking fear. Unless it's about letting someone else in. It's his all or nothing approach to relationships that's depressing. Dying for each other is pointless when you could still do good and honor someone's memory that way. And when I told him that I'm not into that juvenile type of romance, where you give your life to protect someone, he pulled away again. He acted like I would reject him." Matt's grip on his cane tightens.

"Did you tell him that you didn't mean that?" No, she did not tell him that and she didn't even properly tell him what her problem was in the first place! Not in so many words.

"Oh, I'm sure, he understood. But he uses every opportunity he gets to end it with me: either I'm distracting him, or he feels manipulated, either I'm too much into Daredevil or he fears I'd surrender to save him. He's trying to protect me by pushing me away and I'm getting tired of that. If we don't work it's not on me, it's his fault." He can't really deny that. Is he a coward?

"I hope you're not talking about Matt Murdock, because the guy has enough he feels guilty about." Jessica is back from her alcohol expedition. Who would have thought that she would be the one to defend him?

"But he just loves feeling responsible."

"Cut him some slack, Trish."

She sighs. "You're right. I'm not giving up yet, just waiting for things to calm down. Which is why I don't want to leave town."

He's heard more than enough, so Matt makes his way over to his friend and soon finds himself engulfed in a warm hug. He just can't focus on whatever Foggy is talking about after what he just heard.

"Matty, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I've just got a lot to think about."

Then he can hear the sound Foggy's mobile makes, as he received a message. His heart skips a beat when he reads it.

"Is it serious? It's okay, if you have to leave."

"No, no. I'm here for you, buddy. I'm not going anywhere."

"What if I want to meet someone, too?"

Foggy waggles his eyebrows. "Who do you want to meet?"

"Foggy…."

His friend sighs. "No, it's fine. I can see when you're upset and not really with me. We'll talk later?"

Matt smiles. "I'll call you." Immediately he stands up to go and talk to his priest. Foggy is immediately back on his phone.

When Father Lantom recognizes his voice in the confession chamber Matt can hear him sigh in relief. The man didn't know he was still alive and he probably followed the news.

"I'm glad to see you back here, son."

"You're happy that I have something to confess, father?" Matt doesn't even crack a smile at the irony.

"After what you have been through, primarily, I'm just glad you're alive. And if you did anything you want to confess to survive: you know you can defend yourself."

"I did much more than defend myself. I almost killed a man."

There is a sharp intake of breath. "But you didn't."

"No." He would love to leave it at that. "Someone else did."

"Are you relieved about his death?"

"I was. But I'm also angry that someone else got to shoot him and the man he was working for was also killed without me even laying a finger on him." The priest waits for him to elaborate. "They made me feel weak and I wanted to show them that I'm not. I'm not their puppet, their plaything or anything they could use at a whim." Matt can feel his hand tremble at those words. Maybe his sins are easier to confess this time around than admitting what Fakedevil did to him. What it made him feel.

"It's human to feel angry about this, but you can't let it consume you."

"Have you listened to me, ever? This is the way I do it, this is what I am. The devil."

The priest's silence speaks volumes, Matt thinks, but his answer surprises him: "It doesn't matter what he did. You could not have done anything to stop them. This doesn't make you weak."

Why isn't the man appalled by his crave for violence? Instead it sounds like he understands, like he actually forgives. But that can't be.... Matt sheds a silent tear, he just can't make himself do that. He may not have been able to do anything when they had him, but before. "I am weak. I should have listened to your advice and accepted help. They should never have caught me in the first place. Many lives were lost, because of that."

"You can't save everyone and sometimes you may also need to be saved. Would you blame the others if them helping would still have resulted in people dying?" Father Lantom sounds firm and sound. "Matthew, I hope you are going to take a break for a while. You sound unstable and I don't want you to do anything you will regret. And I think your friends also don't want to see you get hurt again."

Matt knows the priest means well, but him thinking that he is unstable was not what he wanted to hear. Is he a danger to himself and to others? Maybe they all have a point, maybe he is a liability and he needs to face the fact that in the state he is in right now, he won't be able to save anyone, not even himself. If he hesitates or his hand starts trembling in the wrong moment it could have dire consequences. Or if he doesn't get his anger under control. At least he didn't try to kill Anand Chopra.

He needs to wait for a new suit from Melvin anyway, so after he leaves the church he decides to ask the rich dude he knows if he has a spare house he could use for a week or two. To meditate and heal and just deal with everything.

"Anything you need, Murdock! I'm sorry, I wasn't able to help much against Fisk and all. Would have been fun to use the old Iron FIST against FISK, right?"

Matt sometimes can't believe the guy is for real. "Um, yeah, right… Well, if you ever need some legal advice from a lawyer who isn't after the money..."

"Sure, I know a friend I can ask. Would be more interested in training with you, though. As soon as you're better."

Matt smiles. "I'll give you a call when I'm back. And seriously: Thank you."

Danny laughs. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Let me make some calls."

Matt has a feeling the guy is actually buying a house just for him. He also promises to take care of Hell's Kitchen while he is gone. In moments like these it is a huge relief to know other people who understand him. While it is obvious that Foggy still struggles with some aspects of his best friend's life as a vigilante, it means a lot that he's trying to be supportive, even after he almost died again. For Foggy this was just another reminder that life is too precious to fight, so the first thing he did was distract him. They even managed to laugh when Matt informed him that he just learned Punjabi isn't even the most spoken language in India.

Trish's name also came up a lot. Apparently, Foggy is pretty fond of her, despite the fact that she has similar urges to go out on the streets and help people. For her it's not about beating up bad guys who run free, but about standing up for the weak and she is especially protective of the people she cares about. Matt knows he is one of those, although he has been distancing himself again for her sake. She was always the one pushing for more, maybe it is his turn to proof that he'll not run from her anymore and then let her decide if he's still too much drama. But he also needs to honestly show her what she's getting herself into. Right now, he's a mess.

 

* * *

 

Jessica smiles when Matt informs her that he'll be gone for a week. But her mood darkens when she hears a knock on the door and fucking Lenny Morano stands there. She jumps up from her chair and he shows his hands to let her see that he doesn't have a gun.

"I come in peace." Jessica scoffs. "Ok, I'm not here to attack you."

"What do you want?"

"I don't want any problems with you. I want to make sure that you are still not coming after us."

"Our little deal is done. You shot at us." To be honest, she almost forgot about him and that he knows where she lives.

"He's still alive. And I told Tucker not to aim at his head in the future."

Isn't that just great. "Why should I believe you....?"

"I want to be a lesser evil." The slimey bastard smirks.

"What does that even mean?"

Lenny casually walks over to her desk. "There are several gangs in Hell's Kitchen. We might be the most influential one now, but I'm not an idiot. Power makes us a target for the others. And you were right: I do care about my family and the morons who work for me." He sighs dramatically. "I would be willing to stick to some ground rules and keep this professional between us."

He acts like being a mob boss is a job like any other. "You're not making any sense to me right now, so get to the point before I throw you out of my window."

Lenny chuckles and backs away. "All I'm saying is that you helped me get revenge for my cousin's death. And I appreciate it. In return I promise that we won't try to kill any one of you or anyone close to you in any of our... confrontations."

"Oh, Lenny! You are SO considerate. That's too much", Jessica mocks and rolls her eyes.

He is clearly amused. "I know what you're thinking, but think some more. I just want you to see that Hell's Kitchen has bigger problems than us and I'm just trying to avoid personal vendettas here. We all have too much to lose. If any one of you targets us more than the others, I will take this personally." He glares at her to make sure she gets the warning. "Please, tell that to your devil friend as well." He gives her that trademark sneaky smile, with a little bow added and leaves an annoyed Jessica behind.

The Moranos aren't her problem anyway, but she sure hopes he means what he says for Matt's sake. Tuck's aim is pretty damn good, so him not shooting to kill Daredevil or even hunt for him would be a huge relief. It would even make sense looking at the bigger picture from his point of view to not piss any of the local vigilantes off too much and hope that they in turn concentrate on his rivals. He is practical like that and it is a clever move. But he is still a complete psycho. She has to remember that.

 

* * *

 

When he called her about this place Matt sounded as if recent events finally caught up with him. Tired and vulnerable. That and the fact that she missed him like crazy made her answer easy: "I'll go with you if you need me." He was contacting her without anyone being in danger which was a good sign.

Matt is standing on a beach right in front of the house Danny Rand probably bought just like that. Trish thinks he asked her along, because he must have eavesdropped on the conversation she had with Jessica and Karen about needing a vacation. She vented a lot about him after that night at Anand Chopra's place. About pulling away from her and making it look like it was her fucking decision. But she also vented about how he handled the whole Fisk situation, how it was his fault that it all turned out so bad. She feels bad now if he heard all of that. And a big part of her thinks Jessica made sure he did. She wrote a lot with Foggy lately which seems very weird and unlikely. But she couldn't know what they actually would talk about.

When she carefully rests her hand on his back, he still flinches at her touch. A wave of nausea overcomes her. "None of this is your fault."

He shakes his head. "But it is. I should never have left you all."

"It's not like you gave yourself up. They took you. That might have happened with us next door as well."

"But I made it easier for them." There is no point denying that. Maybe it's better that he thinks that way, even if it's no guarantee he'll act differently next time.

He then takes his shirt off and slowly walks into the water. Trish reluctantly follows, trying to hide her shock after seeing all the cuts again for a moment.

When they later lie down on a couch wrapped into two blankets she drifts to sleep slowly and after a while she finds herself in his head lying next to her. "This is weird."

For a moment he seems confused, then she can hear him chuckle softly. "You want me to carry you to bed?"

"No, I think I'm comfortable. You could be closer."

"But you're sleeping..."

"Matt, I'm literally asking you to."

She can feel Matt shuffle a bit and put an arm around her sleeping figure.

"I didn't think before... Doesn't the water scare you now?" It's such a quiet whisper she doesn't think she would have heard it if his voice wasn't currently in surround sound.

"The thought of you being alone scares me more."

He is clearly moved by that. "Why are you still with me…?"

"You mean, why am I not bothered that you don't want me?" He blinks in surprise. "Because I know that you do, you idiot."

He closes his eyes and she can sense a single tear escaping and rolling down his burning cheeks. "I don't deserve you."

No, this doesn't work like that. "Wake me up."

"What?! No! You need sleep." Ha! His voice is too loud. She can feel herself stir away already.

"This is important." Trish forces her eyes to open and turns around to look at him.

"Where were we?" She yawns. "Ah, right: No, you don't deserve me. But I deserve you and I'm just going to stay until you get that into your stubborn head. It looks like I can't stay away from you anymore, even if my brain insists that I should."

That earns her a sweet kiss. "It's a smart brain though." He's still hesitant, but it's the first time since he's back that he really lets her see and sense what he is feeling for her which is encouraging.

She is so glad he did reach out to her. “What made you call me?” 

“I realised something." He takes her hand in his the way he used to. "What I had with Elektra was powerful. You don't know what it feels like when someone dies for you. It's unimaginable.” She doubts that. She lost count of the number of nightmares she has had of him dying to save her. It leaves a vague idea and it's not a good feeling.

“You changed my perspective. I was desperate when I was reviving you. But you would have died doing something you believed in. Something I coincidentally believe in as well with all my heart. Giving up on life, by ending it or throwing myself in situations that would ensure I won't make it out alive, would not honor you. If - god forbid - anything happens to you and I'm somehow not able to save you despite doing everything in my power... I want you to know that I'd try to be strong." Trish feels tears form in her eyes. "And if it was the other way around I would want you to remember me the same way and move on eventually. It's a beautiful thought."

He definitely heard her say something like this to Karen. Trish is speechless, but he continues: "I used to think that sacrificing yourself is the ultimate proof of a deep connection and frowning at it is something people do who have never felt that way. Now, I don't know anymore. In my experience it's harder to keep on living sometimes. So, maybe that is the ultimate proof. All I know right now is that I just don't want to waste any more time running from you, if you're still open to giving this hopeless sap another shot.”

“Damn, Murdock….! You already know I'm bad at resisting you and then you start talking about feelings… That's just not fucking fair!” She groans.

Matt smiles. "I'm not going to make a habit of it."

She kisses him sweetly and indicates moving the blanket away. "May I?"

And he gives her permission swallowing his fear and letting her look at all the new scars those fresh wounds will leave on his body. "You're sure, you don't like getting hurt a little?"

His face is completely open when he says: "Do you want me to…? Do you want to hurt me?"

"God, I really hope not." She blushes. "Or I guess I hope you don't use sex as a way to punish yourself or something… It wouldn't surprise me to be honest."

"It's really more like whatever turns you on, works for me. I can smell your arousal."

When she starts tracing one stitched up cut he shudders so she stops.

"No. I don't want to hurt you. I didn't want to watch you get hurt either." And it's a bit of a relief to her.

"If you're sure... But I really wouldn't judge you."

She then starts kissing his unharmed skin and he sighs slowly relaxing. They are done talking, because there is nothing left to say for now. Matt seems to be okay with her touch, because he does not flinch anymore, but she's trying to go slow which is incredibly effective. For someone with his amount of pain tolerance he's surprisingly sensitive - due to the enhanced senses, she's sure. He probably feels his injuries as acutely, but must be very good at hiding or blocking it, especially since he doesn't take pain killers. Not a thought she wants to linger on in that moment. Instead, she is suddenly very fascinated by finding out where he enjoys her attention most. It's helpful that she picks up on him feeling uncomfortable whenever it happens. And sure enough sometimes his wounds are in the way and he just doesn't care. His hands are touching her as well, but she tries to concentrates on him. When she starts kissing his neck, his breathing stops for a moment and she hesitates until she hears him whisper: "Don't stop. Please."

She continues then treating his body like an instrument and provoking very interesting noises. After watching his orgasm reflects on his face she kisses him tenderly. But he's still moving, suddenly concerned. "You didn't…" Fuck his senses. Any other guy would have been fooled. She kisses him again to relax him. "Don't worry. I was just watching you and it was mesmerising. This was all I needed. You're all I need." He blushes.

"We could do it again… or I could…"

She traces his side with her fingertips making him shudder. "Sure you're up for it?" She smiles when he kisses her gratefully. "Maybe not right now…"

"By the way, how on earth did you neglect to notice that I had a major crush on you? You can hear my heartbeat, you can tell when I didn't come, but you thought I was just fooling around with you...!"

He sighs and hugs her close. "I've noticed a lot of girls react that way, but it never sticks."

"A lot of girls, huh?" He just shrugs. And she realises for the first time that it's not bragging. It's actually the opposite, he's a big flirt that was never able to be honest with any of these women, except for Elektra, Claire and Karen when it was too late.

"So, what happened? Eventually you had to break up with all of them?"

"No. Some were just interested in hooking up. Others probably were not interested in a blind guy long term and the rest lost interest, because I was pretty closed of." There is one all-in kind of guy, a total catch and a total sap, who'd give his life for the woman he loves - which she really hopes he won't do anymore - and he's unavailable because of stupid secrets. So they must have broken his heart a lot. Well, good for her. Of course, Trish is really hates his self sacrificing tendencies. The sappy part is growing on her though.

"It's not like it was their fault. But I'm just... I try not to expect much. Even Claire couldn't deal with this. Elektra was the only one I could be myself with. Of course she wasn't able to be herself around me, so that was destined to fail."

"That sounds lonely."

"It wasn't as bad as you think." He chuckles. "And I picked up some nice tricks along the way. You get to enjoy them now. Maybe later." The suggestive smirk says it all.

"So, you are a player. Admit it!"

"I may not have been serious about all of them, but none of them have anything to complain about. I promised them nothing. And some just left, before I could. None of them ever understood, much less accepted me the way you did."

"So I'm the lucky girl who found out about your secret and you're stuck with me now, because you don't have to lie? Is that what this is?"

He frowns. "Is that what you think? You don't strike me as insecure."

She's not. But it's not like he chose to tell her, like he did with Karen. Trish doesn't voice her doubt though, knowing that he'd just fucking let her leave him then. "I'm not."

And of course, he sees through that, hearing her heartbeat. "Well, if it helps: I'm not very trusting and even more reluctant to tell people I like about who I am. But I would have told you someday. You were just crazy fast at figuring it out."

"Well, we'll never know now." She totally forgot that he'd hear her mumbling.

"What?! Trish, where does this come from suddenly?!" He actually chuckles now. Not even taking her concern seriously enough, which somehow is a relief. A sign that he's not pushing her away again. God, they're weird. "You wanted this, right?" He gestures between them, because…. Yeah… She had to be quite insistent, hadn't she? And now she suddenly noticed: Hey, he never picked me!

"Look, it's silly, don't worry about it. I'm just being vain and confused… You would have a lot of options, look at you! Being Daredevil and all. I just want to be the one you chose, not the one who fell into your lap and annoyed you until you trained her and after you finally gave in you sleep with her, because of crazy sexual tension. And then your ex dies to save you and I wouldn't." There she takes a breath to go on. "Am I a consolation prize? Does this have a future? You risk your life all the time, which is noble and all and I like helping you, but… Why am I freaking out now?" She stops, then she realises. "I thought I already lost you…"

He hugs her. "Ssssh…. I'm here. And I'm glad you don't want to risk your life for me. It's really the last thing I want."

"But you don't need a girlfriend who breaks down every time you get hurt. And I hate freaking out."

"You didn't do that before. This is the first time, but not the first time you've seen me injured."

"I think I've never seen you not injured." She rolls her eyes. "But I don't want to see that ever again."

He chuckles. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but you will." Then he adds: "And now you know how I feel about you fighting." He chuckles again. Well, as long as he laughs like that about it, she might be able to deal with it. She just has to check that he's not just joking around to hide how he really feels. And right now, her worries are indeed amusing to him. Asshole.

She slowly lets go of him, suddenly embarrassed by her behaviour. "That was very dramatic. Sorry for making a scene." Ugh…. This is what she was afraid of, turning into one of those girls, who fall for a hero and then get sucked into his drama. And she thought being Hellcat would make her different.

"No, don't be ashamed, please. I remember breaking down after you rescued me as well."

"You were tortured for five days."

"And you needed to be strong the entire time to be able to save the reckless damsel in distress. I remember you being very angry with me about that." He smiles.

Trish throws a pillow at him. "I still am, by the way. Don't ever do that again."

Matt laughs and suddenly tilts his head, listening to something else. "I just heard some idiots outside talking about beating someone up… and I'd like to get back to our earlier activity after we've taught them a lesson. Together."

She smiles. "We didn't bring any suits or costumes."

"But I have a hoodie and we brought sunglasses..."

"Then, what are we waiting for…?"

"Just don't let anyone punch you in the face. Rule no. 1 of how to protect your secret identity."

"And my sunglasses."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let me know in the comments if there is anything you want me to do in the sequel. I'm starting with IGH, but I'm not sure yet if I'll bring back Jessica's mother. Should I throw Oscar into the mix?  
> Any characters that should show up more/less?


	28. Epilogue: Getting Back Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Trish helping people on their week off. Because that's who they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There are references to rape in this. Some of the dialogue might be uncomfortable. You won't need to read this before the sequel. It's not as depressing as it sounds now.

Matt and Trish wait near the two boys, who are talking about beating up an older man. "They are young. We should just scare them a little."

"They are already afraid."

"Really?" It wasn't apparent in their heartbeats, but Trish is certain about it and she nods. "Then maybe we need to talk to them."

Matt silently walks up to them and just takes the baseball bat from one of the kids holding up a hand to show that he won't hurt them. "Easy…" The other one still takes a fighting stance with his friend fast moving behind him.

"I won't harm you, just heard you talk about beating someone up. You can't do that."

"We have to." With that the angry teenager starts attacking Matt and then backs away realising it's pointless. Trish then comes up next to him and smiles at them. "Can you tell us why? Maybe we can help."

While the boy with the bat just glares at them, his friend tells them: "The man raped Dan's girlfriend."

That shocks Matt for a moment, his hand is trembling a little and bile starts to rise up in him, but he suppresses his disgust. Something has to be done about this and since the boys are about to flee, he needs a different less intimidating approach this time.

When Matt freezes Trish can't help but recognise the intensity of his reaction. He sure must have beaten up some rapists, but even considering his emotional state at the moment, there could be more to it. Claire also seemed unusually concerned after she checked him over. The boys are about to run, so he gives them back the bat and takes down his hood. "Did you talk to a grownup about this?"

That she certainly had not seen coming.

"You don't get it. He IS a grownup."

"I'm a lawyer. I want to help." Matt takes a deep shaky breath and Trish raises her eyebrows, surprised.

"If that doesn't work I know someone who will beat him up."

Trish smiles at the boys and takes off her glasses as well. "Can you bring us to her?"

While they are walking around town Matt considers his options. If he is here as Matt Murdock it might be a little obvious if Daredevil is spotted as well. But he doesn't have the costume anyway, so that's that.

"We're not just beating the guy up?" Trish is a bit concerned. On the one hand, she's not sure Matt acting like Daredevil and just punching a problem to pulp right now would be a good idea. But Matt Murdock dealing with this as a lawyer after his reaction earlier might not be good either. He would have to listen to the girl's story and that after being the victim of intense torture himself recently. And he's also still blaming himself for what happened to him. She doesn't think he would tell the girl it's her fault, but those things do happen and if he makes her feel that way unintentionally it could ruin the girl's life.

Matt stoically walks ahead. He knows Trish is perceptive, so he tries to calm his nerves and shut off his emotions therefor she can't sense anything. "We need to make sure it's true and it has to go on his permanent record, if it's possible to prove it." He sounds more reasonable than he feels.

"You're sure you're the right person to deal with this now?"

Despite his efforts that still stings and anger rises in him. They both stop because he turns to her: "I've always been the right person to deal with this shit. I'm the only one who's heard stuff like this happening most of his life without consequences." That's when he swallows. "And now I also know how it feels. That's what you were getting at, isn't it?" It wasn't really, but she did have suspicions.

"I'm sorry." She takes his hand and starts massaging it lightly the way he used to do for her. It calms him down and he immediately feels sorry for snapping at her. "It almost happened to me at the orphanage as well actually."

That's another shocker. "Stick?"

"No, but he killed the guy before he left me…. I think. The bastard probably thought a blind boy wouldn't understand what was happening." Matt sounds almost casual about it now, like he always does when his childhood comes up.

"Well, I'm not unfamiliar with that kind of thing either, being a former child star and all..." Now that he didn't expect, but before he can say anything, she stops him: "You should know that I don't need pity. It was a long time ago. I'm worried about you right now."

He takes a deep breath and kisses her temple briefly, but really she would rather be comforting him right now. "I'm fine, promise. I have to do this." Maybe he has to and maybe he is the right person to do this after all. Trish thinks while Matt tends to obsess over his own weaknesses, somehow thinking of them as mistakes he should be above, he really never does blame others for theirs.

They suddenly realise that the two boys have also stopped. They are glaring at them and Trish smiles at the curious faces. "Let's go, a girl needs some heroes." They definitely heard him raise his voice before.

Matt tries to prepare himself for what will come next and gathers his thoughts. It's late in the evening and he has to talk to the parents first, but he's not sure how to explain where they met Dan. The boy knows the parents at least, so that's good and apart from still holding onto the baseball bat like he's prepared to defy the adult lawyer any moment he seems like a good kid, like it's the first time he actually does something like that. He's not very forthcoming with information, though, and still doesn't seem to trust them.

When they arrive at Tara's home, Dan finally agrees to let go of the bat. Matt explains to the parents that the boy came to him with concerns that Tara may have been mistreated and they are shocked to hear that, demanding to know the name of the alleged culprit immediately. Matt wants to talk to the girl first, but the parents insist to be in the room as well, which is understandable, but he knows it might be a problem, because the man is a relative of the family. He agrees anyway, knowing he'll be able to tell if the girl is just too afraid to mention the name.

And of course she doesn't tell them who hurt her, but Matt is sure that Tara is indeed a victim of repeated sexual abuse. He does not want to put any name in her head, though, because she just wants this to be over. So, he tells her, that they will talk again and explains to her what's going to happen and that she is going to be safe.

Dan later asks Trish about what he heard Matt say earlier while they were going to Tara's. "What happened to him? I thought it's only girls...?"

She sighs. "He was tortured for days before we got here."

The boy thinks about that, then his eyes go wide. "He is Daredevil, isn't he?"

"What?! No!" She completely forgot that it was all over the news.

At her reaction he's even more certain. "Oh shit, it's true! What is he doing here?"

"We're here on a holiday and he's blind! How could he be Daredevil? I really don't know where you got that ridiculous idea." Trish suddenly sounds a lot more convincing, but it is too late.

"Yeah, but he's not blind blind…. We noticed. I tried to fight him, remember? Shit, I fought with Daredevil! That is so cool!"

"You can't tell anyone! Please! If any more people find out…"

"Oh no, I wouldn't! Ever! He's my hero." There is a silence. "I'm so glad he's okay. Someone send me one of the videos they made and I didn't think before clicking on it. I thought, that's his end. They even raped him? Bastards."

Trish suddenly has problems breathing properly. "I'm trying to forget those videos. But I saved him."

The boy looks at her with confusion and new respect. "Then you're my hero, too." After a while: "It's a bummer that I can't tell anyone I fought with Daredevil…"

She chuckles. "Kid, I hate to break it to you, but you didn't fight him. I've seen him fight. You don't even know where to look once he starts flipping and kicking."

"Damn, that's awesome."

After that Trish is serious again. "But he is here as a lawyer now and we have to protect his identity. Understand?"

"Of course." Then he is silent for a moment. "Are you his girlfriend?"

Trish laughs. "I'm Hellcat." She lets a small bottle of water float over to drink. "And I love him."

His eyes go wide at that. "Then he's very lucky."

"No, he's really not. He's had a lot of misfortune in his life, way too much pain for a single person to endure. I only know one other person as tough as him." A bitter laugh escapes her. "But I'm trying to make up for it. I consider myself lucky to have him and that he is alive."

That's when the door opens and Matt enters looking at her accusingly, but also moved at the same time. "Trish, are you gonna tell everyone, now?"

"What? That I love you?" She smiles. "As I recall I haven't even told you, yet." She grins at his speechlessness.

"It's not her fault! I figured out who you are on my own." The kid who eyed him warily before now looks at the lawyer with pure admiration. Matt sits down next to him. "I'm protecting her and everyone else I love by wearing a mask." He shoots Trish a smirk after that indirect declaration and she smiles like a loon, pretending she didn't know already.

"Sure, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I'd do the same."

Matt shakes his head in frustration and takes off his glasses revealing a still nasty looking bruise that Fisk gave him. "You can't be like us. I was trained as a kid and we both have special abilities. You can't go out there beating someone up, because you think he deserves it. Go to the police."

"What? But what if they don't do anything! You expect me to do nothing?"

Matt sighs. "You have to try the legal way first. Talk to a journalist, if the person in question has too much power, maybe. It's the only way to change things in the long run, to change the system. I've learned that the hard way. You can find a better way to help, maybe."

The kid slumps. "You're not going to protect people anymore…?"

"No, I will do that, of course. I just have to be more careful and look at the big picture as well. Keep the people I care about safe, too."

"Did I hurt you earlier? I'm so sorry if I did!"

Matt smiles charmingly. "No, don't worry. I can take a lot more."

The kid blinks. "Did they really rape you…?"

Trish holds her breath shocked at the direct question.

Matt closes his eyes and says what he knows the kid needs to hear: "It can happen to anyone, really. I could not do anything about it. It's about having power over someone more than anything else."

"That's true." Trish thinks his eyes never looked that empty. She sincerely hopes he believes what he is saying. She can see his hand tremble again, but apart from that he appears to be quite calm.

"That was just one of the many horrible things they did to me. It wasn't even the worst." Matt thinks the worst probably was his friends being threatened because of him and seeing Elektra die again. The fact that he wasn't able to do anything about it all apart from giving them clues was killing him.

"But you laughed when they were torturing you. As if it was a joke to you..." Trish cringes. She can't believe how he is suddenly talking about all of this. But it figures that he would open up if it is helping someone else understand.

"You get used to pain and I didn't want to show them that they could break me. They needed me alive for five days and all I could do was keep the views up, so that they would stick to their plan until Trish here could save me."

"Damn." She can see Dan's desire to be a vigilante start to vanish. Trish just hopes he won't say something horrible to his broken hero. He came close a couple of times now and she clearly remembers some nasty comments people made about him liking it. Being chained up and beaten like some piece of shit.

Then something beautiful happens.

"Can I hug you?" Matt looks taken aback by the kid's quiet request and sad eyes. There might be some pity in there, but mostly she sees respect for the man in front of him who is less collected suddenly. Then Matt reluctantly opens his arms for a very gentle and careful embrace. "I wish I was as strong as you are." They know he isn't talking about fighting this time and Trish realises in this moment that Matt will get over this as unshed tears gather in his eyes.

He might carry it with him, but the man who in this moment takes comfort from a boy to teach him a very important lesson is already bouncing back. And what is one more issue to deal with? Abandonment and commitment issues they have in check at the moment. Guilt and martyr complex: There has been some progress there. If he'll now also have PTSD after being abducted, she can always ask Jessica for advice. And he could be a wonderful father one day if that is something he can see for himself.

Matt then gives Dan his number and tells the boy to call him if he ever thinks about beating someone up again. The beam that puts on the kid's face before he leaves the room makes him smile. He's glad he decided to do it the conventional way after all. It's not as satisfying as beating the man up, but he's sure Father Lantom would approve and he can't deny that Dan's hug did make some of the anger that was close to the surface melt away a little. Now they just have to see how the case goes which he is less optimistic about. But he's determined to see Tara smile as well.

"You were imagining me as a father just now, weren't you?" And by the smirk on his face she can tell that smug Matt is back already. Wow, how she did miss that part of him, as annoying as it could be, since he was too tired and depressed to be cocky after he was rescued. Now she is even thankful for the surprising change in his mood. They both want to avoid any mention of the scary elephant that just left the room with the boy. So, she decides to distract him with banter and she can tell that he appreciates it.

"Don't flatter yourself. If I ever have children I don't think they'll have a father who leaves me stuck at home in sleepless nights while he gets to have all the fun and fight crime."

"Would you prefer their dad to be a handsome and charming lawyer, then?" He smiles at her disarmingly. There is still some tension around his eyes.

"If that is really enough for him… maybe. But I doubt that."

"I don't know about that either. But what about their mom? Could she take it slow?"

"She would definitely kick ass between changing diapers or while doing it. She wouldn't need to touch them after all." That image makes him genuinely laugh.

"But wouldn't she appreciate a man who is basically a living babyphone and could tell when the baby is actually hungry and when he can let her get some sleep and take care of it by himself?"

Trish gasps. "Seriously? You… could do that?"

"Admit it: I'm a catch." That ego again.

"I never doubted that. You did." Trish smiles and raises an eyebrow. "Your senses are definitely appreciated, mostly." She steps right in front of him and he closes his eyes when she plays with the hair in his neck and kisses him softly. "I hate it when you tell me to go to the toilet, before we drive somewhere. It's disgusting that you know I should."

He hums, still enjoying her ministrations, but also slightly amused. "You would appreciate that if we had children."

"What's with you and kids today? Are you pregnant or something?" She laughs, then all color leaves her face. "Am I?!"

"No, no, no! Don't worry. I'm just joking around." He smiles sheepishly. "But if you think about it, we could make excellent parents. You'd know what they feel, I'd know if they lie…"

"And if we'd produce a sociopath anyway, you'd blame yourself." She rolls her eyes and he considers her for a moment.

"Trish, I think I found your weak spot, apart from my expert love making, I mean."

"You have NOT. I knew admitting to you that you're good - no, wait, I don't want to hurt your manly feelings again - amazing in bed was a mistake. Now I have nothing I can tease you with when you get cocky."

Except that he blushes again, so it still has some effect.

"You can try to tease me all you like. I never doubted that you enjoyed yourself, just that you were serious about me. But you, Trish Walker, independent and tough career woman by day and superhero at night, want to have kids. Plural." He's grinning like he figured out a dirty secret. Time to challenge him right back.

"Oh really? And why doesn't this freak you out?"

He shrugs at that. "We're just joking around."

Then a knowing smirk appears on Trish's face. "What if we weren't?"

"We'd be better at it than your Mom. Or Stick for that matter. Look, I know we're still getting to know each other. We're not there by a long shot, not just because of our night activities, but the idea doesn't scare me. I'm the man without fear, remember?" He swallows at how intense this conversation suddenly became, despite his attempt to lighten it up and Trish hugs him. Then she laughs. "This does not mean you're right, by the way. Just… you're full of surprises. You being fatherly just was… endearing."

"You'd be insulted if I said that about you being motherly, right? Just to check…"

She smirks. "I told you about my mom, right?"

"Right." He chuckles. "But you're different."

"You thought I was manipulative at some point." She did force him to train her after all, although she immediately felt bad about it. She still remembers the venom in his voice when he said that she got what she wanted. It was only after that that she realised she actually wanted to be with him more than she wanted to be like him. And at some point trying to protect him made her want to be even stronger again, so she had a good reason to be manipulative in a way.

"Maybe I was, too. I tried to seduce you so you'd forget about training with me." And of course, he used her insecurity about Elektra to push her away later, to protect her. But she saw through his act like she always did.

"I knew it! And I would have surrendered completely if you had made another attempt to seduce me after that whole distracting incident."

He gapes at her. "Seriously?!" Then he shakes his head laughing. "I was furious at you then." He kisses her temple, thinking of how they were fighting then. "We're so messed up."

"We should never have children."

"I'm thinking two or three." He laughs at her blush.

"I'm so glad you didn't lose your sense of humour over all this." And that the kid made him finally talk about some of the shit he went through. She could tell that the situation brought some of his more raw emotions to the surface and he was still a bit tense, but now she's hopeful that he is dealing with it in a healthy manner and not bottling stuff up too much. She can't even imagine what it must have been like to only talk about Daredevil shit with his priest. It's no wonder he sucks at opening up, really.

Matt knew he wouldn't be able to prove that the girl was raped by her uncle, so he had to tell her that she needed to be ready to talk in court. But he made damn sure people knew that it was true and that they were watching the creep. He was watching him. He gave her parents his card and told them to call him immediately if something happened or if they heard about another victim. They were horrified when they found out who it was, but his sister seemed less surprised, which gave Matt hope that it would be possible to prove the man's guilt some day.

A week later the guy was attacked in the street. The newspaper article did not mention that the man and the woman beating him up warned him to stay away from children after he refused to confess or go to therapy.

Back in Hell's Kitchen everything goes back to normal after a while. The Moranos keep Daredevil busy, but Matt Murdock leaves them alone, apart from gathering information, so his identity and his friends are as safe as they could be. His encounters with the clan continue to be strange and it kind of seems like Lenny enjoys fighting him and tipping him off about his competitors. Jessica tells Matt to be careful and not let himself get provoked, but it does not make him go easy on his enemies.

After months of paranoia about sudden attacks from Fisk everyone is finally able to sleep in their own bed again, without anyone watching over them. But sometimes Trish would stay at Matt's place or he'd be at hers after Hellcat and Daredevil have a night out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for now. A sincere thank you to everyone who left a comment or a Kudos or even just read the whole thing. :)  
> The sequel is up as well. Please check it out. Might be a slower ride than this one, with less constant threats, instead there's always some relationship chaos and Hell's Kitchen turns into more of a mess.
> 
> Or if you're less interested in action and more in fluff and angst, maybe skip ahead to "Hope".


End file.
